jealous God

We’ve been married for 10 years! Carla and I celebrated a decade of marriage this past weekend with a wonderful trip to Leavenworth…alone! Oh, man, that was sure nice. It was so great to spend one-on-one time with just Carla. That’s been quite a challenge lately and I found myself really missing her.

Neither of us have ever been the jealous type, but we just earnestly missed each other. I tend to get caught up in my pastor role, doing church stuff. Carla tends to get caught up in her mommy role, doing house stuff. And like just about every other couple on the planet, we get sucked into the busyness of life and find ourselves longing for more husband/wife time. Simply because I love Carla so much, I can find myself feeling a little jealous. I would never be satisfied with only part of my wife. I don’t want half or even 99% of Carla. I love her so deeply, cherish every moment we get to spend together and always desire more. In that sense, I am a very jealous husband. And so is God.

We, the people of God, are called the Bride of Christ (check out Revelation 21). He is our Groom, our Husband. If we have chosen to love and follow Jesus, if we call ourselves “Christians,” we are married to Him. And we cannot fathom the depths of love He feels for us. He too cherishes every moment and always desires more. God is not satisfied with only part or even most of us. He wants all of us! He is a jealous God!

So what should this heavenly union look like? How do we ensure a good, strong marriage with God? Well, not to oversimplify, but let’s compare the heavenly relationship to the earthly.

• Carla and I are in constant communication, every day. In fact, to ensure that we’re really hearing each other well and making wise decisions together, we schedule regular family meetings. And there are no secrets in our marriage. She knows every detail of my life and I know every detail of hers—every one. How often do we communicate with God? What is the quality of those conversations?
• Carla and I make time to go on dates together. Yes, it can be difficult to set aside the time and money, but we do it because it’s a priority to us. Even a few hours alone together can be so refreshing. Do we ever set aside the time and money to spend one-on-one time with God? What are those “dates” with God like?
• Carla and I help each other. She’s actually better at this than I am, but we earnestly try to be one another’s best partner and biggest supporter. She is my right arm when it comes to anything church related. I lean on her almost to a fault. For my part, I try to help her with anything house related. We’re in this thing together. We’re a team. Are we on God’s team? Does He do all the work and we reap all the benefits? When was the last time we asked Him how we could help?
• Carla and I loved our anniversary trip. We’ve made a commitment to do that more often because we could immediately tell it was healthy for our marriage. It was a dedicated chunk of time where we could focus on each other. We both felt like we were back in college, dating. It was thrilling and rejuvenating. Do we ever dedicate an entire day or weekend to God? What would it look like to spend that much time with our heavenly Spouse?

When God gave us the Ten Commandments, He acknowledged that He was jealous (see Exodus 20:5). He let us know, right from the start, that He wants us completely, body and soul. He won’t be satisfied with anything else. And, lest we forget, He already gave Himself to us completely, body and soul. I wonder what we will give Him in return.

family

It takes a village to raise a child.

That used to be a powerful sentiment in our culture. It still is in a few places in the world, but not here. Unfortunately, I think it’s been demoted into some kind of past, pleasant ideal. We postmoderns are far too individualistic for such a concept. We do things our way and no one is going to impose their ideas on us! And the results are obvious and heartbreaking.

It’s always difficult to nail down hard statistics, but most polls report that the divorce rate in America is more than 50%. If you think that’s inflated, ask yourself this question: do I know any divorcees? How many? It’s sad. Connected to that fact, about a third of all children (under the age of 18) live with only one parent. They are desperately needing and missing the influence of either an ever-constant mother or father. Then there are the millions of kids that lack both. Perhaps they live with a grandparent, close relative or are being bounced around the foster care system. Certainly, some of these cases are legitimate due to a tragic death, etc. Most of them, however, are painfully unnecessary.

In the ancient nation of Israel, the focus was always on the next generation. The adults directed their energies toward teaching and passing along their faith in God. Why? Because they understood that their children were the hope and future of the entire nation! They did not have any kind of formal, educational degrees or youth ministry training. Yet everything they did was for the purpose of instilling the love and fear of God into their kids. And there were no church children’s pastors or youth leaders either. A child’s father and mother were his primary teachers, but every single adult felt the weight and responsibility to help raise the children. They were all expected and even required to minister to the children. We are missing that sense of family.

Even if we don’t have biological children of our own, we have a duty to spend time mentoring those who come behind and follow us. Some wonderful examples of this relationship in Scripture are Moses and Joshua, Eli and Samuel, Elijah and Elisha and, of course, Jesus and His twelve disciples. Most of the important lessons in life are not taught, but caught. We cannot learn them unless we have someone who will walk beside us, show us personally and help us learn through experience. We long for that environment of family.

And this responsibility is bigger than what we might normally designate as “family.” In reality it extends throughout our circles of influence. We can choose who we want to be in our family. What is adoption if not the choice to bring another precious life into one’s inner circle? In the Greek language, which the New Testament was written in, the key word was oikos, or household. Our household would certainly include blood relatives, but also close friends, neighbors and even coworkers. So many of our contemporary relationships are surface-level. We talk about the game last night or the upcoming American Idol season, but never discuss things of real worth like our marriages, feelings and inner struggles. We all crave that sense of family.

Now let’s not sugarcoat this. It’s not easy or quick. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Raising a family is extraordinarily messy. And I don’t just mean this in a literal, physical sense. Raising a family is emotionally messy, mentally messy, socially messy and spiritually messy. No book, seminar or conference can properly instruct. No one can ever be fully prepared. We learn as we go, through on-the-job training. There will be lots of mistakes and times where we’re tempted to throw our hands in the air, but we press on. We’re committed to working through the mess no matter what. We need that dedication of family.

God created and blessed the family unit at the very beginning of our story (Genesis 2). It was one of the first things He did. That must mean it’s important. Holy Seed Community Church is fiercely committed to family. We’re going to strive to be the best spouses, parents and friends possible. We’re going to raise Godly children (Holy Seed) and watch them grow toward Jesus. And, thankfully, we can do it together. On our own, we would fail miserably. The wise man or woman knows that it takes a village to raise a child.

intentionality

Plan your work and then work your plan.

What did you dream about as a kid? Did you want to be a pro ball player? Maybe you imagined yourself as president of the United States. Perhaps you wanted to sing to a packed Carnegie Hall. Well, did it happen? Did you accomplish those dreams?

That’s not fair, though, is it? We all have lofty dreams as children. Let’s be more realistic. What did you dream about as a young adult? In your late teens and early twenties, as you were deciding who you wanted to be for the rest of your life, how did you picture it? Did you want to live in this city and work in that field? Maybe you imagined a family and close friends. Perhaps you pictured yourself starting a company. Well, did it happen? Did you accomplish those dreams?

How many of us actually see our dreams come true? How many people experience the fulfillment of their deepest hopes and desires? Why do we so often find ourselves struggling just to hold on? Do you ever collapse in bed at the end of the day, wondering what the whole point was? Did anything of value even happen? Why?

I don’t mean to oversimplify the complex matrix that is life, but allow me to share an observation. I have met and talked with hundreds of people who share similar frustrations. They have so many hopes, desires and passions within. They imagine themselves being and doing so many wonderful things. They have great vision, but very little motivation. They have fantastic dreams, but hardly any initiative. They know where they want to be, but have no idea how to get there. In short, they lack a very important core value: intentionality.

Intentionality is strategic. In a military sense it means having the broad, overall view and knowing which pieces fit where and why. It’s having a plan of who is going to do what and when. And it’s flexible, having a contingency plan just in case the first one doesn’t work out.

Intentionality is premeditated. In a court of law we usually hear this word as a negative—something like premeditated murder. That means the action had been thought through. It means knowing what you’re getting into, counting the cost, preparing yourself for the future.

Intentionality is purpose-driven. It’s not some haphazard, shoot-from-the-hip move. It’s not random and without reason. It makes decisions and moves because it’s after something specific. There is a goal, an objective, a target in mind.

Intentionality knows how to set priorities. There are some things that are more important than others. That may not sound “fair,” but it’s certainly true. Some feelings may get hurt. Some distractions may get ignored. We say “no” to a lot of good things because we’re waiting for and working toward the best things.

Intentionality is very serious about opportunity. Because God/life refuses to be scripted and boxed in, we remain alert for the unknown. We allow for the mysterious, out-of-the-blue moments to seize. Many of these, of course, are to be rejected as a distraction. But some…some only come once in a lifetime.

Intentionality always speaks of direction. Life is a journey, a process. And every life is pointed somewhere, heading toward something or someone. Sadly, some are pointed directly toward selfish gain, unnecessary suffering or “the American dream.” Others add beauty, luster and joy to what is already there.

Would the above terms describe my life? Am I an intentional person? Are you? Certainly we’re not going to see all of our life goals and personal dreams come to fruition in one fell swoop. But we can begin today. We can start right now. We can make up our minds to take the first step toward our deepest desires, highest hopes and wildest dreams. Holy Seed Community Church is a place of intentionality. We are going to pursue the things of God with reckless abandon. We know what He has called us to and now we’re chasing it. We’re going to plan our work and then work our plan.

unity

Everyone is great at something.

Unity is similar to love in many ways. We all want it, but few ever really sustain it. It’s talked about constantly, but rarely pursued with passion. And it’s very misunderstood.

I’m always shocked at how many people think “unity” means “uniformity.” They just assume that the whole idea is born out of a very negative, don’t-be-who-you-are-but-change-into-this kind of philosophy. (You’ll just have to use your imagination for the mean authority figure shaking his/her finger at you.) Most people see the huge benefits of unity, but don’t fully buy into it because, well, they want to be who they are. They are a round peg and see a square hole; they don’t want to be forced into it. And for good reason!

Now, to be fair, there is a very serious discussion regarding sin and surrender that every person needs to have. Jesus invites us to come to Him just as we are. But we cannot stay that way. That is the vision behind the second phase of our mission statement—living like Jesus. But once we become Christians, once we surrender to Him and begin to follow His lead, once we launch out into leadership of our own, it’s a whole new ball game.

God made me unique. And He did it on purpose! He only wants one of me running around His creation. There has never been nor will there ever be a human being exactly like me. And the same is true of you. God deliberately made us with our own talents, abilities and skill sets. He doesn’t want us forced into something we’re not any more than we do. Thankfully, though, that’s not at all what unity is about.

Unity is about working together. It’s figuring out how our uniqueness—our own particular quirks and idiosyncrasies—can complement, bless and function within the overall Body of Christ. The Apostle Paul’s metaphor here is brilliant! We each only have one body, but that unified body is made up of different parts. Those parts each have unique characteristics and strengths that we are quite foolish to ignore. Have you ever tried to open a jar with your feet instead of your hands? Not easy. Ever try to eat lunch through your ears instead of your mouth? Not fun, nor satisfying…and really messy. We intuitively recognize that our different body parts do different things. And they have to work together in unity to accomplish even the slightest task like opening the closet door. Why, then, is it so hard for us to comprehend and appreciate unity in the Body of Christ?

To experience unity is to experience teamwork. We play off of and rely upon each other’s different abilities, but the goal is not a great individual stat sheet, but to win the game. To flow in unity is to flow in harmony. We each sing different notes and maybe even melodies, but can join those together to form one beautiful song. To know unity is to know motivation. Nothing pushes and drives us like seeing those close to us excel and thrive. To discover unity is to discover one’s spiritual gifts. It’s those God-given, in-born, supernatural talents that really set us apart as unique and cause us to be so valuable to the rest of the Body.

Unity is a very high standard to reach for, but Holy Seed Community Church is reaching anyway. We want to be known as a church that works together, with other churches, with government, etc. We don’t claim to be the experts on everything and never will. Nobody is great at everything, but everyone is great at something.