paradox

There is a paradox at the heart of the Christian faith. If you haven't acutely felt it yet, you will. We are sinful, weak, flawed human beings...yet we are also holy, sacred, chosen creatures. We are capable of the most beautiful works of art and acts of compassion...yet we are also guilty of the most heinous, evil acts of brutality conceivable. How can both of these things be true? How can we possibly exist in such a dual reality?

Sometimes I get stuck on a passage of Scripture. Lately it's been John 12:23-28. Jesus and His disciples have just entered Jerusalem like a rock band on tour. We usually refer to it as "The Triumphal Entry." The people are going crazy cheering, singing, throwing down palm branches and their coats for Jesus to walk on. One would think that Jesus is overwhelmed with gratitude, but He's not. Quite the opposite, in fact. While most would be basking in their own glory, Jesus is solemnly dwelling on the glory of His Father.

Some people think a true leader is always rock-solid, always secure, never struggling, never in pain. That's not a picture of Jesus in this passage. He transparently admits that His "heart is troubled" (v. 27). He's weak at this moment and not afraid to admit it. The omniscient (all-knowing) Son of God sees what's before Him - the pain of the cross - and doesn't want to suffer. He wants to bail on the plan, run away from the struggle, hide...but He does not. Even within the most horrendous circumstances possible, with His life literally on the line, Jesus knows and follows His divine purpose. With all the strength He can muster, Jesus boldly proclaims, "Father, glorify your name" (v. 28)!

There is only one reason Jesus can endure this kind of pain and suffering. There is only one reason for this kind of struggle. Only one thing explains the paradox and Jesus knows what that one thing is. It's not about us. He knows that there is something bigger going on. There's a larger and grander tale being told. His death, though awful, is a necessary, realistic part of the overall story. So, Jesus can press on. He can keep going. He can courageously charge forward knowing full well how devastating it will be. See, if it's not about us, if it's actually about the Father, even death is okay. There is victory even in the grave.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds" (v. 24). The majority of us won't physically die a martyr's death like Jesus did, but that doesn't mean we won't die. There will be seasons of pain, suffering and death - many times excruciatingly difficult - in every one of our lives. We will die to ourselves - our own dreams, plans, desires, etc. In those times it's so easy and so common to falter in our faith. We have a hard time standing strong with Jesus, boldly declaring the glory of the Father. It can seem strange that a loving God would allow this much suffering. The paradox can feel so confusing, so infuriating, so hopeless.

"The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me" (v. 25-26). In other words, you can't run from it. The paradox is reality in every one of us whether we acknowledge it or not. So, just be real about it. Like Jesus, open up. Like Jesus, share your pain. Like Jesus, push through no matter what. Like Jesus, muster up the courage to glorify the Father right smack dab in the middle of your most horrible experience. It's not about you. Let yourself die that He might live in and through you. Our death is His glory!