shield of faith

Lately God has really been dealing with me about faith. Scripture teaches that without faith it is impossible—impossible—to please God (Hebrews 11:6). Clearly it’s a big deal. Obviously God wants us to put our hope, trust and reliance upon His unseen and yet vastly superior resources. This church planting process has challenged, bent, stretched and nearly broken my faith. I have come to a dependence on God that I never knew existed or came close to understanding before. The spiritual warfare my family encounters on a daily basis is overwhelming. There is so little that I can do and so much that He can do. I must believe that to survive.

This past week a friend of mine reminded me of Paul’s word in Ephesians 6. He says that our faith is a shield. It’s a source of protection from and defense against “the devil’s schemes.” See, it’s crucial to understand that we’re not fighting each other—other humans—but a spiritual force of evil. Individual humans are not free from their own sin and guilt, to be sure, but they are being controlled and manipulated by an evil one—the devil himself. And, in that furious battle, our faith is a shield.

Our faith is something we can duck behind and find shelter in. Only this shield of faith can block and even extinguish all those flaming arrows of the evil one. I’ve felt the sting of these arrows in the past couple years. Arrows of insecurity and depression; pride and fear; doubt and loneliness. I’m sad to admit that my shield of faith has often been found on the ground instead of in my hand. There have been many times that I forgot what my strong God has already done; what we’ve already come through; what has been promised and guaranteed by the Faithful One.

I have often reflected on how difficult this experience has been. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like we’ve made much progress. We continually struggle with feelings of failure and discouragement. But Paul seems to be okay with that. In fact, he says that wearing all this armor and holding onto this shield of faith will enable us, not to storm the gates of hell, but to simply stand. I find a great deal of encouragement in that! There are many days that we do nothing but stand our ground. This fortress of God has come under intense assault. The “day of evil” has certainly come. But we are still standing. And we will continue to stand.

The best is yet to come! The shalom of God is on the horizon! The miraculous is just around the corner! Victory draweth neigh! Lift up your eyes to the heavens, people of God! He is coming in power! Our protection and deliverance does not come from within, but from a Warrior God whose glory covers the whole earth! Here He comes! Stand and see!

nothing is difficult

About a year ago God told me that He doesn’t just want me to be a man who prays, but a man of prayer. One of the ways I have found to be most helpful for this new lifestyle of prayer is to carve out at least one full morning a week to do nothing except be with God. I usually go for a walk, bike ride or drive. I get out of the office and focus all my attention on the Lord for at least a couple hours. This past Tuesday I went to one of the local beaches and began strolling down the sand.

As I listened to the hypnotic sounds of breaking waves and seagulls, I began to think about the fact that nothing is impossible with God. I was thanking Him for taking care of us and always knowing best. I was feeling very grateful that, with God, all things are possible. But then He interjected. The Lord told me that not only is nothing impossible for Him, but nothing is even difficult.

Whoa! That was a mind bending concept! I guess it’s hard to even fathom that kind of power, because for me almost everything is difficult. Especially lately, every step has been an absolute chore! To think about being able to do anything and everything with ease and grace, without sweating, stressing, struggling…that’s just overwhelming. It sounds unbelievable. It sounds like heaven.

Just about then, I spotted a guy walking his dog down the beach in the opposite direction. From out of the blue came this thought: give that guy $20. “WHAT?! Why? That’s silly. That’s not really God. It’s not like we have money to spare. I can’t do this.” As he passed me by I even squatted down to pet his dog and heard him wish me a good day. I stood completely motionless and watched him walk away, thinking to myself, “Well, I certainly blew that one.” Then God spoke again. “See, nothing is difficult for me, but even the smallest of things is difficult for you.”

It didn’t feel mean or derogatory at all. It felt sad. I think it makes God feel sad that I have so little faith sometimes. Quite frankly, it’s sad to me too! I’ve been a Christian my whole life, raised in a pastor’s home and am a proud seminary graduate. Yet in many ways I am still a spiritual child. If only I could learn to trust Him; depend on Him; believe Him for the impossible.

I’m going to keep exercising my faith muscles. I want my life to look more and more like Elijah, Paul and Jesus. I don’t want the little things to trip me up and be so hard. I want to learn to trust God with anything and everything. I know I’m not there yet, but I am progressing. God is helping me every step of the way. Slowly but surely I’m learning to view life through God’s perspective, God’s eyes. Slowly but surely I’m letting go of my humanity and embracing His divinity.

My poor little human brain cannot possibly grasp God’s amazing plan. I have always known that nothing was impossible, but now I’m coming to see that nothing is even difficult. And if I’m in Christ, that’s true for me too! If God has called me, if I’m following His lead, not only is nothing impossible, but nothing is difficult! Woo Hoo!!!

squeaky brakes

The other day I went for a short bike ride. Actually it was a bit of an emotional ride. Okay, I was mad. I was mad at God, I was frustrated with our circumstances, I was…having a pity party. We have our good days and bad days. It was a bad day that day so I went for a ride. There are some great trails in a park close to our house so I started riding down them. I found this really cool little spot off the trail with a huge tree and some logs surrounding it. It was obvious that I wasn’t the first one to spend some time there. And the hypodermic needles let me know not everyone was praying! Anyway…

So I got off my bike and started pacing around that huge tree. God and I were having a very serious conversation about church planting. Right in the middle of one of my bitter rants, I heard something. It was in the distance, but getting closer, and it was annoying. It was a high pitched squeal. It would stop for a few seconds and then start up again. Off and on, off and on—annoying, irritating, disrupting my precious pity party!

Well, I couldn’t focus on my tirade with this racket so I paused long enough for the interruption to pass. Then I saw the source. It was a father and son on a ride together. The father was in the lead of a downhill section. It could have been out of safety or fear, but that guy just kept hitting the brakes…squeaky brakes! It was like fingernails down the chalkboard every few seconds. Lovely. Evidently I wasn’t the only one annoyed by this either, because just as they passed me by, the son shouted something to his dad. “DAD! YOUR SQUEAKY BRAKES ARE RUINING THIS EXPERIENCE!”

I’ve been squeaking a lot lately. Even I, the source, know that. Even I, the source, am annoyed by it. How many more people are having their experience ruined by my squeaky brakes?!

It’s taken me a couple days to realize this, but here it finally is. That father and son bike ride was supposed to be an enjoyable experience. It was supposed to be a fun and exciting adventure. It’s sad that something as small as squeaky brakes could get in the way, but that’s just the reality. Now, those brakes didn’t stop them. They didn’t cause the father or the son to cease the bike ride or fall to the ground. But they sure did put a kink in the ambiance. They sure did affect the journey. That father and son were going to get to their destination with or without the squeaky brakes, but the manner in which they dismounted their bikes at the end could swing in one of two ways. And to think, a fairly minor adjustment could have changed all that!

I can be a very negative person. I am the king of cynicism. I have a real talent for spotting the bad in just about everything and everyone. Then, upon the discovery, I can pick it apart and dwell on it for hours, days or even weeks! I know, I know. If only they had an Olympic event for it. I would definitely win the gold in the 400 Meter Squeak!

See, God and I are on this journey one way or the other. He is leading the way and I am following. My negative, squeaky brakes aren’t stopping us or killing me, but it sure is ruining the experience. It was supposed to be this amazing, fun, spectacular and even miraculous adventure, but often I find myself just feeling irritated, exhausted and frustrated. All I can see is the bad. All I dwell on is the pain. Squeak. Squeak! SQUEAK!

God reminded me of that day and that example this morning. He revealed something very important to me. If I would just shut my stinkin’, squeakin’, negative mouth, I might just have a blast. I might be able to look at the beauty surrounding me. I might be able to feel the wind in my face and sense the thrill of the ride. I might get to the end of this ride, dismount with a smile, and say, “WOW! LET’S GO AGAIN!”

And to think, a fairly minor adjustment could change all this! Less squeaking for me. Let’s go for a ride!

growing up

Our little boy is growing up! I know…that sounds just like something our parents said when we were young, right? I think it must be a universal thing. We all know it’s going to happen, but it’s still hard to watch sometimes. As a dad, I love my little guy so much! In the long run, though, all parents want to see their children grow and mature into responsible, strong, healthy men and women. That’s the goal, isn’t it? That’s the whole point of parenthood!

When Josiah was a baby, we treasured all the firsts: first smile, first tooth, first time rolling over, first step and, yes, even first black eye. We were so proud to see him conquer things that, just a few months or even weeks earlier, were unattainable. Now that he’s a “big boy” (Just ask him—he’ll tell you!) we’re celebrating things like riding a bike, climbing a ladder and, in a few months, preschool. It’s strange to think about, but it won’t be long before we’re overcoming things like girlfriends, a driver’s license and college tuition. None of these achievements—past, present or future—come easily. They all require work, effort, risk, patience, etc. But they do come in time if we set our minds to them.

Why would we think it’s any different spiritually? When we first come to faith in Jesus Christ, we are spiritual infants. The Bible even says an immature believer needs spiritual milk (see 1 Cor. 3 and Hebrews 5-6). Our spiritual family celebrates all our firsts with us: first prayer, first Bible, first witnessing opportunity and, yes, even first spiritual black eye (I’ve had quite a few struggles and/or wrestling matches with God. You?) Those things are exciting, wonderful, glorious…but we can never stay there. We can’t just stop in our spiritual toddler or preschool years, content with who we are and what we’ve done. By all means, let’s keep growing up! Let’s keep maturing, transforming, moving forward!

Yes, it’s going to take a great deal of work, effort, risk, patience, etc. You know good and well that nothing worthwhile comes easily. We teach that to our children, but forget it for ourselves in our own journey with God. We would be so angry at our child who refuses to clean his/her room, but we ignore our own spiritual messes. We would be devastated to know that our beloved son/daughter blatantly ignored our warnings and disobeyed our instructions, yet we do it to God on a regular basis.

One more observation/warning: this isn’t a race. Most first-time parents, including Carla and I, get caught up in the comparison game. “Is our child developing like your child?” “At what age did he/she start talking?” Eventually, we learned to just stop worrying about Josiah and let him grow at his own pace. You might achieve some spiritual landmarks before me. Good for you! I’m probably going to conquer some issues before you. Be happy for me! God will move us all along at our own pace because, as our wonderful heavenly Father, He knows best. But we must move along. We must continue. We must grow.

Where do you see yourself spiritually? Are you still an infant? Perhaps you’re a toddler now. Maybe you’ve been in church your whole life and, yet, you know that you’re still only in Junior High. Wherever you are, keep going. At whatever stage, celebrate your firsts, but then move on. Never stop growing up! Always push yourself to more and better; higher, deeper and wider! Keep following the Father! It’s a phenomenal adventure!