One Disciple's Journey

inconvenient

2009-10-09T14:05:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago I was picking up a few things from the grocery store. I thought there was an open parking space close to the door, only to discover one of those new and tiny gas-saving cars hidden there. As I settled for another space down the row, I was struck by how inconvenient it is to walk an extra 30 feet.

Last week I experienced some trouble with my ISP (internet service provider). For some reason I kept getting knocked offline and had to reboot several times. Even though having a high-speed internet connection in my home is a fairly new luxury, I recall feeling very inconvenienced that it didn’t work perfectly.

This past Sunday I went to church…

We treat our churches like they’re the grocery store or an ISP, don’t we? We act like they ought to scratch us where we itch and meet our every felt need. One word that super-spiritual people always like to use in relation to their church is the word “fed.” Usually it’s in a very negative context like, “I’m just not being fed at my church” or “I have to go to a church that feeds me.” Now, where is that in the Bible? While I hope and pray that every church preaches the Word of God boldly and accurately, is it their responsibility to feed us?

There are a few passages in the New Testament that reference spiritual food (1 Cor. 3:2, 10:3, Heb. 5:12-13, 1 Peter 2:2), usually milk in particular, but those passages challenge us to grow up. They confront us about spiritual growth and maturity. A newborn baby needs to be fed milk, but what about a growing, maturing child? Shouldn’t he be able to feed himself? At least in part?! Wouldn’t it be sad to see a mother still bottle feeing her 13 year old? It makes me wonder…are our churches full of spiritual children still demanding to be fed by others? Unable to feed themselves?!

Even worse than that is the fact that we treat God like this too. Right? Don’t we pray (and by pray I mean “whine”) about things that we want, but don’t really need? Haven’t you caught yourself asking (and by asking I mean “begging”) for God to make you happy and feel good? Is it not accurate to say that typically we believe (and by believe I mean “demand”) that God is on the job to heal all our wounds, fix all our mistakes and clean up all our messes? Whether we recognize it or not, our American perspective of God is that He’s some giant, generous Santa in the sky. We love it when He does what we want and pull away when He doesn’t.

Come on. Let’s be honest here. If we’re inconvenienced even the slightest bit by God or His Church, we’re ticked. We’ll just quit altogether! Why get up early and go to church with real people when TBN is on all day? It’s too inconvenient. Why volunteer to serve when someone else will do it for you? It’s too inconvenient. Why witness to your neighbor when the pastor gets paid to do that? It’s too inconvenient. Why read your Bible when there’s a great movie on? It’s too inconvenient.

I’m beginning to think that God is all about inconvenience. I don’t think He wants us to be comfortable. I don’t believe He likes it when we’re content with ourselves and our world. I can’t imagine He’s pleased with a people that like things just the way they are, thank you very much. Our lives are far too convenient, our churches are way too accommodating and our gospel is abundantly too easy.

The God of the Bible is extraordinarily inconvenient. He doesn’t seem to care if we’re happy at home—He’ll move us anyway (Gen. 12:1). He’s not embarrassed to ask us for our most prized possession (Gen. 22:1-18) and doesn’t mind wrestling us to the ground from time to time (Gen. 32:22-32). He shakes the mountains (1 Kings 19:11-13), unsettles the nations (Isaiah 13:4) and even allows death (Heb. 2:9).

Now, don’t misunderstand the point. All of this inconvenience is rooted in love. Everything God does is because of His great love for us. That may not make a lot of sense, but when has love ever made a lot of sense. Are you married? Does it make sense? Do you have children? Do they make sense? When has love ever made sense? Love is crazy and erratic and…well, inconvenient.

Your mountains may be shaken, your prized possession may be required or your comfortable life may be turned on its ear. But take comfort. Not only is that okay…it’s good. It’s a good thing to be inconvenienced by God. Trust His heart of love, embrace your inconvenient life and hang on for the ride!

weary

2009-09-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

Weary. That word is probably a good summation of this past week. I don’t know where it came from, but something happened somewhere on Thursday afternoon to just lay me and Carla out. It probably wasn’t any one, big thing, but a collection of multiple, smaller things. Regardless, quite out of the blue, we felt spiritually bankrupt. We were so discouraged, depressed and exhausted. That feeling lasted into Saturday morning when we finally asked for help.

I guess until then we thought it was just a case of “the Mondays” or something. Anyway, on Saturday morning we sent out a few emails asking for prayer from people we knew would literally stop what they were doing and pray for us immediately. They did. And guess what. Saturday improved. We woke up Sunday not to perfect circumstances—in fact it was bumpy like most Sundays are—but we felt renewed strength and hope. Our service ended up being a powerful, unifying experience. We took a great step toward becoming a church planting team instead of a small church.

Anyway, back to that word: weary. (Often we get so excited about the good outcome that we forget all the pain it took to get there. Let’s not forget the journey.) I left the house Thursday afternoon to get a haircut and spend a little time in prayer. While praying, my mind wandered to a scene I recently saw in a dramatic retelling of the American Revolution. In it, George Washington is telling John Adams that he’s weary of the burden of being the President, another possible war, etc. Well, I could identify. I told the Lord that I was absolutely weary of our position and responsibilities. Immediately, the Holy Spirit responded, “Don’t be weary in well-doing.”

I didn’t want to hear that. In fact, I said so…out loud. I told God I knew that was true and Biblically correct, but still didn’t want to hear it. A weary person doesn’t want to hear “stop being weary.” That just makes the weariness even more wearisome. I wanted some kind of miracle. I wanted a lightening bolt. I wanted… anything but more words. Yet, somehow, that word was enough. Barely, but it was.

When I got home I looked that passage up, wrote it on a sticky note and put it on the fridge where everything important goes. Then Carla forwarded me an email from one of our praying friends. The Lord spoke the same verse to her about us. Then another said the same thing. Then a movie preview, believe it or not! I have no doubt that word was from God. That knowledge doesn’t necessarily make it all better, but it helps.

Of particular significance to me is the organic imagery at the end. “At the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” It’s okay to be weary. It’s not okay to give up. I don’t know the proper time. I never have. I’ve driven myself crazy to figure it out and worked myself silly trying to make it come prematurely. He knows, though. He knows the proper time and is slowly and patiently bringing it into our reality.

If I were to chart our lives for the past two years, I think we moved here on a pretty big high. Slowly and consistently, though, we wilted. I think we declined for a whole year, pretending everything was cool and good and right. Finally, after a year of suffering and pain, we admitted our brokenness and recognized our struggle against God Himself. At that point we flattened out and walked with God, on rock bottom, for about another year. Well over the past month or so, I think we’ve been making very slow progress back up. We are ascending out of the valley, the desert, the wilderness—whatever you want to call it. But it’s as slow coming back up as it was going down. Maybe slower! But we are making progress little by little. I see that. And I’m trying very hard to not be weary. Well, that’s not really accurate. I’m trying very hard to not get too weary…so weary that I give up. That would be the real tragedy. To come all this way, to sacrifice all this, to endure so much…all for nothing.

I believe the harvest is coming. And I believe it will be worth the weariness. We will not give up, Lord! One more day, Jesus! Here we go!

paradox

2009-08-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

There is a paradox at the heart of the Christian faith. If you haven't acutely felt it yet, you will. We are sinful, weak, flawed human beings...yet we are also holy, sacred, chosen creatures. We are capable of the most beautiful works of art and acts of compassion...yet we are also guilty of the most heinous, evil acts of brutality conceivable. How can both of these things be true? How can we possibly exist in such a dual reality?

Sometimes I get stuck on a passage of Scripture. Lately it's been John 12:23-28. Jesus and His disciples have just entered Jerusalem like a rock band on tour. We usually refer to it as "The Triumphal Entry." The people are going crazy cheering, singing, throwing down palm branches and their coats for Jesus to walk on. One would think that Jesus is overwhelmed with gratitude, but He's not. Quite the opposite, in fact. While most would be basking in their own glory, Jesus is solemnly dwelling on the glory of His Father.

Some people think a true leader is always rock-solid, always secure, never struggling, never in pain. That's not a picture of Jesus in this passage. He transparently admits that His "heart is troubled" (v. 27). He's weak at this moment and not afraid to admit it. The omniscient (all-knowing) Son of God sees what's before Him - the pain of the cross - and doesn't want to suffer. He wants to bail on the plan, run away from the struggle, hide...but He does not. Even within the most horrendous circumstances possible, with His life literally on the line, Jesus knows and follows His divine purpose. With all the strength He can muster, Jesus boldly proclaims, "Father, glorify your name" (v. 28)!

There is only one reason Jesus can endure this kind of pain and suffering. There is only one reason for this kind of struggle. Only one thing explains the paradox and Jesus knows what that one thing is. It's not about us. He knows that there is something bigger going on. There's a larger and grander tale being told. His death, though awful, is a necessary, realistic part of the overall story. So, Jesus can press on. He can keep going. He can courageously charge forward knowing full well how devastating it will be. See, if it's not about us, if it's actually about the Father, even death is okay. There is victory even in the grave.

"I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds" (v. 24). The majority of us won't physically die a martyr's death like Jesus did, but that doesn't mean we won't die. There will be seasons of pain, suffering and death - many times excruciatingly difficult - in every one of our lives. We will die to ourselves - our own dreams, plans, desires, etc. In those times it's so easy and so common to falter in our faith. We have a hard time standing strong with Jesus, boldly declaring the glory of the Father. It can seem strange that a loving God would allow this much suffering. The paradox can feel so confusing, so infuriating, so hopeless.

"The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me" (v. 25-26). In other words, you can't run from it. The paradox is reality in every one of us whether we acknowledge it or not. So, just be real about it. Like Jesus, open up. Like Jesus, share your pain. Like Jesus, push through no matter what. Like Jesus, muster up the courage to glorify the Father right smack dab in the middle of your most horrible experience. It's not about you. Let yourself die that He might live in and through you. Our death is His glory!

secret ingredient

2009-07-07T14:59:00.000-07:00

People love secrets. I learned that from my years of youth ministry. If I had a secret, any secret, those kids wanted to know. I love preaching sermons while some object is covered up. I have some great stories with secret, surprise endings. Even websites with secret “Easter eggs” are more fun and popular. I think we feel special somehow, in-the-loop, when we know a secret. Well, I want to share one with you today.

I believe there’s a secret ingredient that is missing from the spiritual lives of most people. Like trying to follow a recipe without knowing that key, missing ingredient, we get frustrated because it’s just not turning out right. The cookies just don’t taste the same. The marinade is good, but it’s obvious that something is strangely absent. Wouldn’t you want to know? Wouldn’t you pull out your cook books, jump on Google, call your mom…whatever you needed to do to figure out that key, missing, secret ingredient?

Now, before the dramatic reveal, here’s one more rather frustrating truth. This secret isn’t really a secret. It’s actually quite obvious once you start looking for it. As the old saying goes, it’s hidden in plain sight. It is a major thread woven throughout Scripture. It is the common denominator in history’s greatest spiritual giants. It has even probably been strangely present and helpful in your own life, yet you haven’t recognized the depth of its influence. Simply said, the secret ingredient to a fulfilling, growing, successful Christian journey is this: prayer.

It makes sense now, huh. As soon as it’s pointed out, we can see it. “Of course!” we might say. “How could I have missed it?” we wonder. Well, quite frankly, because prayer is hard. It’s not called a “discipline” for nothing. In fact (I’ll say this as kindly as possible), I would venture to say that many of our “prayers” are not really prayer at all.

If it’s just a repetitive statement at the beginning of a meal because you’re hungry and want to get on with it, is that really prayer? If we only bow our heads and close our eyes because the pastor tells us to, is that really prayer? If we only remember to call on God when the money is tight or a loved one is sick, is that really prayer?

There is very obviously a difference between being a person who prays and a person of prayer. Jesus was a person of prayer. Those who were closest to Him, the Twelve Disciples, were completely humbled by the gap they saw between His prayer life and their own (see Luke 11:1-13). Jesus had a funny habit of getting up “very early in the morning, while it was still dark” (Mark 1:35) to spend time in prayer alone (see also Matt. 14:23). To Jesus, prayer was so much more than a sporadic, half-hearted string of words. To Jesus, prayer was a lifestyle.

Going to church is crucial, but it’s not the secret. Obeying the Ten Commandments is fantastic, but it’s not the secret either. Even reading and studying the Bible, as essential as that is, is not the secret. Prayer is the secret ingredient. If we become people of prayer, we will go to church, obey the commandments, study our Bibles and so much more. And they will not be painful, begrudging chores, but joyful, fulfilling experiences. They will flow from a love relationship with a personal God who listens and speaks back—who communicates with His people in a beautiful dialogue we call “prayer.”

What if you discovered or rediscovered this secret ingredient? How would your life look different if it were marked by a daily dose of prayer? What would a lifestyle of prayer look like for you? I believe it’s the key, the secret ingredient, for me and for you and for us. Let’s start today. Let’s be people of prayer today.

acceptance vs endorsement

2009-07-02T09:13:00.000-07:00

I’m currently re-reading a fantastic book called Prayer by Richard Foster. The other day it got me thinking about the very heavy theological doctrine of Original Sin. Without being too technical or academic, the basic idea is this. Due to Adam and Eve’s sin/fall in the Garden of Eden, all of humanity is inherently sinful. At our core, we are broken and can do absolutely nothing to fix that. Sinful humanity requires a Savior and Jesus is He. His saving grace reconciles (bridges the gap of sin between) us and our Creator God. Heavy, huh. Well, I completely agree with this ancient Church doctrine and see it fleshed out constantly. It seems to me that most people sense their sinfulness, but, for many varied reasons, refuse to turn to God. So, the only Source of healing and wholeness becomes yet another thorn in their sides and prick in their conscience.

Most people tell me they don’t like the Church. Surprise, surprise! They say things like “those people are all hypocrites” or “I tried going a couple times, but no one even said ‘hello’ to me.” The general feeling is that the Church is just a big clique that is really tough to break into. Normally, though, when I do some digging, the issue is much deeper than that. These people (and I would include myself here) are really not looking for acceptance. They’re actually looking for endorsement. They are searching anywhere and everywhere for someone or, ideally, some group of people to endorse, support and approve of them.

The problem, of course, is that we can’t ever truly know a person, can we. Even if we’re life long friends. Even if we’re married. Even if we spend every hour of every day together our entire lives, we cannot truly know what is inside a person—how they genuinely feel, think and act when no one else is around. That’s why trust is so critical to any relationship. That’s why we talk and yearn so much for unconditional love—the kind that stays no matter who we are deep down. Because we all know that deep down we’re dirty and evil and disgusting and broken.

Our best friends certainly don't agree with everything we say and all our decisions. But they love and accept us anyway, right? They maintain and even pursue a continued relationship with us not because we're some super-friend who never messes up, but simply because they choose to. They love and accept us because...they love and accept us.

Actually, we don’t even really know ourselves, do we? Have you ever done or said something you were ashamed of later? Ever made a “mistake” that wasn’t really a mistake, but a flat-out sin? Do you ever wonder “what came over me?” or “why am I so angry?” or “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” There’s only One who knows us - truly, knows us. And it ain’t us! The only One who really understands us is the One who created us. He knows all the deep, dark secrets. Nothing is hidden from Him. NOTHING! Even if it seems like we’ve gotten away with something, it’s only a matter of time.

Now here’s the best part. The One who knows all the garbage and sin and evil and junk in our lives... He loves us anyway. Yup! It’s not an issue of trust because, well, He doesn’t need to trust us. He knows it already. It’s not a matter of performing well or saying the right things because He’s everywhere at all times. That is unconditional love! That is the kind of acceptance we all crave so deeply! Isn’t that amazing news?! This is the reason that throughout history God is known by one primary trait: love. He knows it all and still He loves.

God accepts every one of us, sin and all. But He does not endorse it. I know...this is a fine line, huh. I believe the message of Jesus to all of us is, “come as you are, but don’t stay that way.” He has a better way. He knows what life is actually supposed to look like. He can show us the way to true freedom. And, of course, He’s the only One who can help. No one else, including us, knows how broken we are. The Creator is the only One capable of being the Repairer.

If we’re looking for endorsement, find a club. Search for a social organization of some kind with similar values. But know this: you’ll never be whole. It might feel good to be with like-minded people for a little while, but it won’t last. It never does. But if you’re looking for acceptance, try Jesus. I can guarantee He’ll meet you there. He always does.

spoken words

2009-06-16T14:22:00.000-07:00

I don’t buy into the whole “name it and claim it” theology. That’s a view of a God who is too small and a human race that is too big. I also don’t buy into the whole prosperity gospel that teaches us to believe God for bigger salaries, larger houses and more expensive cars. From my perspective, the Bible tells us to depend on God and God alone for our hope and provision. Jesus actually had very harsh things to say about those who were materially rich (i.e. Luke 18:18-25). I guess the bottom line is that we do not control God, demanding whatever we want, whenever we want it. Our sovereign Master is in charge and dictates what is right and what is wrong, the correct timing, etc. On the other hand, though, there is something to be said for a tangible, spoken, verbalized faith.

I once heard an African missionary speak about faith. He made a connection I will never forget. He reminded us that, according to Genesis 1, all of creation was spoken into existence. God didn’t use any actual materials when creating us, like a carpenter would use tools and a pile of lumber. No, He simply spoke the words “Let there be light” and light appeared. He said “Let the land produce living creatures” and it just did. The spoken words of God have unlimited and phenomenal creative power. When God speaks, it happens!

This missionary went on to explain that when God created us, He did so in His own image and likeness (1:26-27). Unlike any other part of creation, we look and feel and act like God…at least in part. Unfortunately we all know from experience that we also deal with sin and weakness and failure. We are not God, but we are like God. Well logically thinking, said this missionary, if we were created in the image and likeness of God, and if God’s spoken words have creative power, perhaps our spoken words have some creative power as well.

For years psychology has talked about the power of spoken words. They may use different terminology, like “self talk,” but the idea is still the same. If a child is repeatedly told that he/she is a “loser” and “will never amount to anything,” what usually happens to that child? He/she believes and lives according to those spoken words. Likewise, if a person is constantly affirmed, encouraged and spoken to in a positive manner, he/she is very likely to have a much higher self-esteem, sense of success and happiness in life. Perhaps our verbalized words are much more powerful than we really know.

This idea is consistent with Scripture as well. James, for example, speaks of the power of the tongue. He even likens it to a small spark that can easily start a huge fire (3:5). The Psalms are full of exhortations to open our mouths and praise the Lord (i.e. Psalm 71:8). Even the art of preaching, utilized throughout history, hinges upon the spoken words of God’s people. It makes me wonder if we Christians ought to be much more serious and intentional about verbally speaking words of faith.

I spent some time in prayer this morning and, quite frankly, it was hard. I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t feel spiritual at all. What I did feel was very discouraged and defeated. All I wanted to do was whine and complain. In fact, I even told God that I was having a hard time believing in and trusting Him. I don’t think God was angry at my honesty. It was still, in fact, prayer. But then I felt compelled to push beyond that self-pitying prayer and speak in faith. Once again, I told God something like, “I don’t really believe what I’m about to say, but I’m going to say it anyway.” I then proceeded to thank God for the “impossible.” I began to verbally speak out in faith, praising God with my mouth, singing songs to Him and worshiping Him out loud with actual, literal words. And the strangest thing happened: I felt a change. I sensed my spirit lift and my heart lighten. It seemed that those weak, unfeeling words of mine somehow created a whole new atmosphere of belief and trust.

There’s nothing wrong with silent prayer, but maybe we should try more spoken prayer. We all feel bad and have pity parties now and then, but maybe we should try verbalizing some praises anyway. I realize we won’t always feel like it. We certainly won’t always want to. Try it anyway! Give it a shot! Let that faith within you come spilling out in actual words. Perhaps the creative power of God’s spoken words will show themselves in your spoken words!

ears that hear

2009-06-02T11:32:00.000-07:00

Last week we took Josiah to the beach. It just so happened to be the day of a -3.8 tide. I’m not exactly sure what that means, but the water level was way lower than normal. We did meet a guy there who explained that once a decade or so the moon is exactly opposite us and its gravitational pull causes the tide to be pulled back far beyond what is considered typical. Evidently, the water in the Puget Sound was 3.8 feet more shallow than normal.

It was really cool. We saw starfish, sea cucumbers, a sea anemone, tons of barnacles and all kinds of other sights that are great for adults and mesmerizing for children. Josiah was so excited that he kept running off ahead of us to explore more new and uncharted territory. Each time he did we had to call him back and warn him not to get too far ahead. Well, you already know where this is going, don’t you? At one point he bolted, we yelled, but he simply wouldn’t listen. After about a 50-yard sprint, like a prisoner who just got over the wall, Josiah hit a puddle that was a little deeper than he thought and fell, face down, into it. Wet sand and salt water soaked his entire front side as 3-year old screams pierced the air. That kid didn’t even try to get up! He just lay there bawling until I ran up, pulled him out of the puddle, quickly took a picture—it was pretty funny in a twisted kind of way—and comforted him.

Now, that little guy has ears and they work just fine. As a matter of fact, they work pretty great. Carla and I can’t even seem to whisper secrets back and forth any more! He hears them all! But just because he has ears, didn’t mean he heard or listened to our warnings and cries at the beach. If only he’d paid attention to our parental advice. If only he’d obeyed our instructions. If only he had ears that hear.

Doesn’t that describe you and me? How often have we known the right thing, the wise thing, the Godly thing, but still chosen the wrong, the foolish, the ungodly. Most of us have ears that work just fine, but that doesn’t mean we truly hear, listen and obey. Like Josiah, we find ourselves far away from the familiar, loving voice of our Father. We continually fall down, with sin all over us, screaming for help. And He, like a good Father, continually comes to our rescue.

The Bible has a lot to say about this very phenomenon. The prophets, in particular, were known for their attempts to shake people up, disturb the status quo and wake people from their spiritual slumber. In Ezekiel 12:2 God tells the prophet that he lives among a people that “have eyes to see but do not see and ears to hear but do not hear, for they are a rebellious people.” Those kinds of warnings scare me a little. I don’t want to have eyes, but be blind. I don’t want to have ears and yet be deaf. I don’t want to rebel against God. I want to develop and cultivate a spiritual sensitivity for whatever God may be saying and doing.

Maybe “reality” is more than what we can physically see, hear, smell, feel and touch. Perhaps our faith in the unseen is as important—or even more important—than the seen. Maybe it’s possible to see through eyes of faith. Perhaps we can all hear through ears of faith. And maybe, just maybe, that faith will guide us to a whole new place…a whole new way of loving, living and leading like Jesus.

shield of faith

2009-05-27T11:34:00.000-07:00

Lately God has really been dealing with me about faith. Scripture teaches that without faith it is impossible—impossible—to please God (Hebrews 11:6). Clearly it’s a big deal. Obviously God wants us to put our hope, trust and reliance upon His unseen and yet vastly superior resources. This church planting process has challenged, bent, stretched and nearly broken my faith. I have come to a dependence on God that I never knew existed or came close to understanding before. The spiritual warfare my family encounters on a daily basis is overwhelming. There is so little that I can do and so much that He can do. I must believe that to survive.

This past week a friend of mine reminded me of Paul’s word in Ephesians 6. He says that our faith is a shield. It’s a source of protection from and defense against “the devil’s schemes.” See, it’s crucial to understand that we’re not fighting each other—other humans—but a spiritual force of evil. Individual humans are not free from their own sin and guilt, to be sure, but they are being controlled and manipulated by an evil one—the devil himself. And, in that furious battle, our faith is a shield.

Our faith is something we can duck behind and find shelter in. Only this shield of faith can block and even extinguish all those flaming arrows of the evil one. I’ve felt the sting of these arrows in the past couple years. Arrows of insecurity and depression; pride and fear; doubt and loneliness. I’m sad to admit that my shield of faith has often been found on the ground instead of in my hand. There have been many times that I forgot what my strong God has already done; what we’ve already come through; what has been promised and guaranteed by the Faithful One.

I have often reflected on how difficult this experience has been. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like we’ve made much progress. We continually struggle with feelings of failure and discouragement. But Paul seems to be okay with that. In fact, he says that wearing all this armor and holding onto this shield of faith will enable us, not to storm the gates of hell, but to simply stand. I find a great deal of encouragement in that! There are many days that we do nothing but stand our ground. This fortress of God has come under intense assault. The “day of evil” has certainly come. But we are still standing. And we will continue to stand.

The best is yet to come! The shalom of God is on the horizon! The miraculous is just around the corner! Victory draweth neigh! Lift up your eyes to the heavens, people of God! He is coming in power! Our protection and deliverance does not come from within, but from a Warrior God whose glory covers the whole earth! Here He comes! Stand and see!

nothing is difficult

2009-05-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

About a year ago God told me that He doesn’t just want me to be a man who prays, but a man of prayer. One of the ways I have found to be most helpful for this new lifestyle of prayer is to carve out at least one full morning a week to do nothing except be with God. I usually go for a walk, bike ride or drive. I get out of the office and focus all my attention on the Lord for at least a couple hours. This past Tuesday I went to one of the local beaches and began strolling down the sand.

As I listened to the hypnotic sounds of breaking waves and seagulls, I began to think about the fact that nothing is impossible with God. I was thanking Him for taking care of us and always knowing best. I was feeling very grateful that, with God, all things are possible. But then He interjected. The Lord told me that not only is nothing impossible for Him, but nothing is even difficult.

Whoa! That was a mind bending concept! I guess it’s hard to even fathom that kind of power, because for me almost everything is difficult. Especially lately, every step has been an absolute chore! To think about being able to do anything and everything with ease and grace, without sweating, stressing, struggling…that’s just overwhelming. It sounds unbelievable. It sounds like heaven.

Just about then, I spotted a guy walking his dog down the beach in the opposite direction. From out of the blue came this thought: give that guy $20. “WHAT?! Why? That’s silly. That’s not really God. It’s not like we have money to spare. I can’t do this.” As he passed me by I even squatted down to pet his dog and heard him wish me a good day. I stood completely motionless and watched him walk away, thinking to myself, “Well, I certainly blew that one.” Then God spoke again. “See, nothing is difficult for me, but even the smallest of things is difficult for you.”

It didn’t feel mean or derogatory at all. It felt sad. I think it makes God feel sad that I have so little faith sometimes. Quite frankly, it’s sad to me too! I’ve been a Christian my whole life, raised in a pastor’s home and am a proud seminary graduate. Yet in many ways I am still a spiritual child. If only I could learn to trust Him; depend on Him; believe Him for the impossible.

I’m going to keep exercising my faith muscles. I want my life to look more and more like Elijah, Paul and Jesus. I don’t want the little things to trip me up and be so hard. I want to learn to trust God with anything and everything. I know I’m not there yet, but I am progressing. God is helping me every step of the way. Slowly but surely I’m learning to view life through God’s perspective, God’s eyes. Slowly but surely I’m letting go of my humanity and embracing His divinity.

My poor little human brain cannot possibly grasp God’s amazing plan. I have always known that nothing was impossible, but now I’m coming to see that nothing is even difficult. And if I’m in Christ, that’s true for me too! If God has called me, if I’m following His lead, not only is nothing impossible, but nothing is difficult! Woo Hoo!!!

squeaky brakes

2009-05-12T15:38:00.000-07:00

The other day I went for a short bike ride. Actually it was a bit of an emotional ride. Okay, I was mad. I was mad at God, I was frustrated with our circumstances, I was…having a pity party. We have our good days and bad days. It was a bad day that day so I went for a ride. There are some great trails in a park close to our house so I started riding down them. I found this really cool little spot off the trail with a huge tree and some logs surrounding it. It was obvious that I wasn’t the first one to spend some time there. And the hypodermic needles let me know not everyone was praying! Anyway…

So I got off my bike and started pacing around that huge tree. God and I were having a very serious conversation about church planting. Right in the middle of one of my bitter rants, I heard something. It was in the distance, but getting closer, and it was annoying. It was a high pitched squeal. It would stop for a few seconds and then start up again. Off and on, off and on—annoying, irritating, disrupting my precious pity party!

Well, I couldn’t focus on my tirade with this racket so I paused long enough for the interruption to pass. Then I saw the source. It was a father and son on a ride together. The father was in the lead of a downhill section. It could have been out of safety or fear, but that guy just kept hitting the brakes…squeaky brakes! It was like fingernails down the chalkboard every few seconds. Lovely. Evidently I wasn’t the only one annoyed by this either, because just as they passed me by, the son shouted something to his dad. “DAD! YOUR SQUEAKY BRAKES ARE RUINING THIS EXPERIENCE!”

I’ve been squeaking a lot lately. Even I, the source, know that. Even I, the source, am annoyed by it. How many more people are having their experience ruined by my squeaky brakes?!

It’s taken me a couple days to realize this, but here it finally is. That father and son bike ride was supposed to be an enjoyable experience. It was supposed to be a fun and exciting adventure. It’s sad that something as small as squeaky brakes could get in the way, but that’s just the reality. Now, those brakes didn’t stop them. They didn’t cause the father or the son to cease the bike ride or fall to the ground. But they sure did put a kink in the ambiance. They sure did affect the journey. That father and son were going to get to their destination with or without the squeaky brakes, but the manner in which they dismounted their bikes at the end could swing in one of two ways. And to think, a fairly minor adjustment could have changed all that!

I can be a very negative person. I am the king of cynicism. I have a real talent for spotting the bad in just about everything and everyone. Then, upon the discovery, I can pick it apart and dwell on it for hours, days or even weeks! I know, I know. If only they had an Olympic event for it. I would definitely win the gold in the 400 Meter Squeak!

See, God and I are on this journey one way or the other. He is leading the way and I am following. My negative, squeaky brakes aren’t stopping us or killing me, but it sure is ruining the experience. It was supposed to be this amazing, fun, spectacular and even miraculous adventure, but often I find myself just feeling irritated, exhausted and frustrated. All I can see is the bad. All I dwell on is the pain. Squeak. Squeak! SQUEAK!

God reminded me of that day and that example this morning. He revealed something very important to me. If I would just shut my stinkin’, squeakin’, negative mouth, I might just have a blast. I might be able to look at the beauty surrounding me. I might be able to feel the wind in my face and sense the thrill of the ride. I might get to the end of this ride, dismount with a smile, and say, “WOW! LET’S GO AGAIN!”

And to think, a fairly minor adjustment could change all this! Less squeaking for me. Let’s go for a ride!

growing up

2009-05-05T13:58:00.000-07:00

Our little boy is growing up! I know…that sounds just like something our parents said when we were young, right? I think it must be a universal thing. We all know it’s going to happen, but it’s still hard to watch sometimes. As a dad, I love my little guy so much! In the long run, though, all parents want to see their children grow and mature into responsible, strong, healthy men and women. That’s the goal, isn’t it? That’s the whole point of parenthood!

When Josiah was a baby, we treasured all the firsts: first smile, first tooth, first time rolling over, first step and, yes, even first black eye. We were so proud to see him conquer things that, just a few months or even weeks earlier, were unattainable. Now that he’s a “big boy” (Just ask him—he’ll tell you!) we’re celebrating things like riding a bike, climbing a ladder and, in a few months, preschool. It’s strange to think about, but it won’t be long before we’re overcoming things like girlfriends, a driver’s license and college tuition. None of these achievements—past, present or future—come easily. They all require work, effort, risk, patience, etc. But they do come in time if we set our minds to them.

Why would we think it’s any different spiritually? When we first come to faith in Jesus Christ, we are spiritual infants. The Bible even says an immature believer needs spiritual milk (see 1 Cor. 3 and Hebrews 5-6). Our spiritual family celebrates all our firsts with us: first prayer, first Bible, first witnessing opportunity and, yes, even first spiritual black eye (I’ve had quite a few struggles and/or wrestling matches with God. You?) Those things are exciting, wonderful, glorious…but we can never stay there. We can’t just stop in our spiritual toddler or preschool years, content with who we are and what we’ve done. By all means, let’s keep growing up! Let’s keep maturing, transforming, moving forward!

Yes, it’s going to take a great deal of work, effort, risk, patience, etc. You know good and well that nothing worthwhile comes easily. We teach that to our children, but forget it for ourselves in our own journey with God. We would be so angry at our child who refuses to clean his/her room, but we ignore our own spiritual messes. We would be devastated to know that our beloved son/daughter blatantly ignored our warnings and disobeyed our instructions, yet we do it to God on a regular basis.

One more observation/warning: this isn’t a race. Most first-time parents, including Carla and I, get caught up in the comparison game. “Is our child developing like your child?” “At what age did he/she start talking?” Eventually, we learned to just stop worrying about Josiah and let him grow at his own pace. You might achieve some spiritual landmarks before me. Good for you! I’m probably going to conquer some issues before you. Be happy for me! God will move us all along at our own pace because, as our wonderful heavenly Father, He knows best. But we must move along. We must continue. We must grow.

Where do you see yourself spiritually? Are you still an infant? Perhaps you’re a toddler now. Maybe you’ve been in church your whole life and, yet, you know that you’re still only in Junior High. Wherever you are, keep going. At whatever stage, celebrate your firsts, but then move on. Never stop growing up! Always push yourself to more and better; higher, deeper and wider! Keep following the Father! It’s a phenomenal adventure!

dynamic Duo

2009-04-29T17:24:00.000-07:00

I know this guy…let’s call him Mark. Mark is a genius. Seriously, it’s like he has a photographic memory. He can read something once and basically have it memorized. I remember having a conversation with him once about faith and he was quoting Scripture to me like a madman. He knew chapter and verse references, spoke in the poetic King James English, yada yada yada. There was one problem with Mark, though. All that beautiful knowledge was just in his head. It still hadn’t made its way into his heart and hands. Mark could quote the Bible, but didn’t live according to it.

I know this lady…we’ll call her Tanya. Tanya is one of the most spiritual people I’ve ever known. She claims to hear the Holy Spirit speaking to her through wildflowers, the elevator music and, of course, her own thoughts. Tanya is a very sweet person, but, as you might imagine, is a bit flaky. She is hard to pin down. She doesn’t like to make commitments and is even more prone to ignore the ones she already has. She may be hearing from the Holy Spirit, but it isn’t producing much tangible fruit/evidence in her life. She is so heavenly minded that she is no earthly good.

Do you know people like Mark or Tanya? They seem to be out of balance, don’t they? I don’t think any Christian would argue that the Bible is not a good book. Of course we should read it, study it, memorize it, honor it. But it has to become more than just a book; more than just words. It has to transform our attitudes, affections and actions.

Similarly, I don’t think any of us would challenge the authority of God the Holy Spirit. The more we grow and mature in Christ, the more we’re able to hear and obey the voice of the Spirit. We need to be focused, have a quieted soul and be prepared to do whatever, whenever. But we must also be grounded in reality. We have to understand our culture, our needs and the depravity of our own spirit in order to hear The Spirit.

As a follower of Christ, we don’t need to choose. In fact, we should not choose! It’s not an either/or decision, but a both/and decision. We have all been given the gift of the Word of God (Bible) and the gift of the Holy Spirit of God. By all means, let’s use and be directed by both!

If the Bible and the Holy Sprit are both of/from God, they will be in harmony with one another. They will not tell you two completely different things. The Holy Spirit will not tell you that divorce is okay for you. How do I know that? Because the Bible says it’s not okay (check out Jesus thoughts on it in Mark 10:1-12). Likewise, you will not find any passages of Scripture that tell us to harm our fellow man. Even those who don’t believe in the Holy Spirit know that. It’s a spiritual law written on our hearts (Romans 2:15).

Of course, there are those who are always trying to pick a fight or find the loop hole. Yes, there are sticky situations where there is no clear guideline, no perfect answer…at least at first. My suggestion there is to be cautious. Move slowly. God is amazingly patient with us. If you’re not sure what step to take, maybe you should just stand still and continue seeking God. If you don’t know what words to say, just be quiet.

The Word of God and the Holy Spirit of God are like the Dynamic Duo, leading and directing our journey. Read your Bible regularly. Even study it with diligence and tenacity. Pray constantly. Learn to hear even the faintest whispers of the Holy Spirit. This Dynamic Duo is always at our fingertips; forever on the tip of our tongue. What are they saying to you?

diverse responses

2009-04-21T16:14:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday our faith community began a very helpful discussion on worship. The thesis behind our conversation is this: worship is the only possible response to what God has done for us. When a person finally comes to understand who God is and who they are, worship just spills out of them. And worship does not just mean music or singing. It may include that, but worship is a lifestyle, a perspective, a paradigm by which we live. Our moment-by-moment existence can literally become a living “Thank You” note to God.

But what does worship look like? How exactly do we go about worshipping God? Those are excellent questions with very interesting answers. The great and amazing thing about worship is that it’s basically all okay. As long as our hearts are pure and we’re doing it for the right reasons, God is pleased with any response we give Him. Certainly there will be times God gently nudges us outside our comfort zones, but for the most part we can feel free to worship/respond to God in any way we feel comfortable. And the Bible is overflowing with a myriad of diverse responses (aka “worship”) to the grace of God.

The Hebrew language, which is predominantly what the Old Testament was written in, has seven (7) different words that can be translated in English as “worship.”

Yadah means “to confess and/or surrender.” It implies the giving of oneself in adoration, to lift hands unto the Lord. It carries the meaning of absolute surrender as a young child does to a parent. An example of this word is used in 2 Chronicles 20:21 where the king of Israel, Jehoshaphat, goes out to fight a battle he knows he cannot possibly win. So, as they began to march out, he instructs the people to worship (yadah) the Lord.

Tehillah means “to sing a spontaneous song.” People often talk about having “a song in their heart”…that’s the essence of this form of worship. It’s an unprepared, unrehearsed melody that is sung to God and God alone. Evidently, when the people hear Jehoshaphat’s instructions in the above passage, they burst forth in this kind of spontaneous worship to God (verse 22) and as they do…well, I don’t want to spoil the story for you.

Barak means “to kneel or bow.” We give reverence to God as an act of admiration. It implies giving place to God continually and intentionally; blessing the Lord, extolling His virtues. The subjects of the Kingdom of God kneel or bow to their King to demonstrate that He is King and that we yield ourselves to Him. Psalm 95:6-7 says “come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker; for He is our God and we are the people of His pasture, the flock under His care.”

Halal means “to celebrate foolishly.” It implies a clamorous, boasting kind of show in which we rave, celebrate and glorify God; quite literally to act like a madman/woman. This word appears over 110 times in the Old Testament. An example is in Nehemiah 12:24 when the people of Israel are finally able to finish the protective wall around Jerusalem. Their dedication and celebration was obviously not a quiet little tea party.

Towdah means “to extend the hand in adoration or agreement.” We agree with God’s word and believe, by faith, that He is always good and always right. It is worship not just for the acts of God, but simply for His existence and presence. We may not possess what we need in a natural sense, but we trust God and thank Him for blessings and grace regardless. In Jonah 2:9 we see an example of this. After the prophet runs away from his calling, is thrown in the ocean and swallowed by “a great fish,” his perspective drastically changes. He worships (towdah) God, is spit out alive by the fish, and then, in total agreement with God, heads toward the fulfillment of his calling.

Zamar means “to make music.” This is probably the form of worship that the majority of people are used to and/or comfortable with. It suggests vocal music, instrumental music or both. This word is found 37 times in the book of Psalms alone. An example is Psalm 66:4: “All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to You, they sing praise to Your name.”

Shabach means “to shout.” It is a proclamation in a loud tone or voice. It is how we pronounce our unashamed testimony and commitment to God. It is a holistic, uninhibited, physical declaration of the glory, triumph, power, mercy and love of our Savior. King David tells the people of God to cry out to the Lord for help so that we can shout thanks to His name and glory in His praise (1 Chronicles 16:35).

And that’s just the Hebrew language of the Old Testament! The Greek of the New Testament builds upon and complements this beautiful understanding with stunning word pictures. Here are just a few examples.

Agalliao means “to jump for joy and be exceedingly glad” (i.e. Luke 10:21).
Proskuneo means “to kiss toward” (i.e. Matthew 28:9).
Chairo means “to rejoice or hail” (i.e. Philippians 4:4).
Doxazo means “to render glory and honor” (i.e. Luke 18:43).
Hallomai means “to jump, gush, leap, spring up” (i.e. Acts 3:8).
Homologeo means “to assent, covenant, promise” (i.e. Hebrews 13:15).
Megaluno means “to make or declare great, extol, enlarge, magnify” (i.e. Acts 10:46).

Obviously worship is an extremely diverse response from an extremely diverse people. It’s not a science, but an art. There is no formula, but there is one requirement: do it with a pure heart. As Jesus advises the woman at the well, simply worship “in Spirit and in truth” (John 4:23-4). On your mark…get set…worship!

gracious God

2009-04-13T16:04:00.000-07:00

My whole life I’ve heard people define grace as “getting what you don’t deserve.” That definition is usually contrasted with mercy, which is “not getting what you do deserve.” I think those are pretty good descriptions of two rather inexplicable concepts. Lately I’ve seen God’s grace around every corner, under every rock and in every room of my house. Allow me to elaborate on just a few examples.

I usually try to block off my Fridays as a Sabbath, a day of rest. I don’t do any church related stuff and usually don’t even check my email. This past week I decided to take Josiah out for a little father/son time. We headed to the beach to participate in one of his favorite activities: rock throwing. He set a new record not only in distance, but number of rocks thrown. We saw a live crab (very cool to a three year old), a soaring bald eagle (very cool to a thirty two year old), a close up of the train (which blew its whistle just for us), a helicopter, seagulls, crows, and all kinds of other “wonders” that I normally just take for granted. Then we headed to the mall for some lunch and a few minutes at the indoor playground. It was nothing spectacular and didn’t cost hardly any money, but on the way home here is what Josiah said. “We had a good father/son day, Daddy.” “Yeah, we sure did buddy,” I replied. “I love you so much, Daddy.” GRACIOUS GOD!

In less than two weeks I’m getting a very special treat. I have a ticket to see Jerry Seinfeld live in Seattle. I noticed that he was performing his stand-up routine in town and my lovely bride, Carla, even checked on prices for me, but they were very hard to come by and quite expensive. “Oh well,” I thought. “No big deal.” A couple days later, though, the phone rang. It was my cousin (and great friend) Jon. He had bought two tickets and was taking me! Did I mention that they were hard to come by and not cheap? I know it might be silly to many people, but it’s going to be great fun for me and I felt extremely blessed. GRACIOUS GOD!

Joslyn is one of the most precious little girls I’ve ever met. She’s one of Josiah’s best friends and part of our weekly Kid’s Church. This past week she turned three, and guess what she wanted…a Bible. Matt and Angela, her dad and mom, let us know that she loves the Bible that Carla uses on Sundays in Kid’s Church, so we bought her one and took it to her party last week. Well, when she opened it she was obviously excited. She gave us great big bear hugs to prove it! Evidently, though, when everyone cleared out of her house after the party, she sat down on the floor with her new Bible and read that thing for over an hour. GRACIOUS GOD!

Yesterday was the very first Easter service at Holy Seed Community Church. (Even though we were meeting sporadically last year, we did not meet on Easter Sunday.) We were a little nervous and a lot excited about celebrating this day with our new community of faith. Well, the day just turned out fantastic. We had 18 amazing friends in our home to worship God and commemorate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. After our service, we spread out blankets in the living and dining rooms and shared a wonderful picnic together. More than three hours and many heaping plates full of delicious food later (thank you, Tracey!), everyone left with big smiles, full bellies and joyful hearts. GRACIOUS GOD!

God isn’t just good in the big things. He’s good in the little things. We don’t deserve any blessings, but we get scores of them poured on us every day. May our eyes be opened to them this week. God is in the details. I pray that we learn to recognize Him there.

the physical torture of Jesus

2009-04-01T09:43:00.000-07:00

Easter Sunday is only about a week away. Even more than Christmas, this day is the highlight of the Christian calendar. It is the celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ—what a phenomenal event! Nothing else in history can even hold a candle to that day. It has forever changed this entire world and my life in particular. Thank You, Jesus!

Before we can get to the resurrection, though, we must go through the cross. Isn’t it amazing how often the most glorious moments follow the most painful moments. I’ve been a Christian my entire life, heard hundreds of sermons on the cross, seen scores of dramatic retellings of the crucifixion and even studied it academically in college and seminary. Nothing can adequately explain it, however. What Jesus endured in preparation for Easter Sunday was horrific.

I am certainly not a medical doctor, but I have the utmost respect for them. Over the past decade or so, several Christian MDs have taken it upon themselves to research and explain what happened to Jesus on the cross from a medical perspective. The following descriptions are quite graphic, but even they don’t come close to accurately depicting what our Savior went through. My thanks go to Dr. Frederick T. Zugibe whose book first brought this idea to my attention. And thank you to Dr. C. Truman David who did most of the following research and explanation.

The physical torment of Jesus, typically called “the passion” began in the garden of Gethsemane on Thursday night. Jesus, under extreme duress, is praying to the Father. He exhibits symptoms of a condition called Hematidrosis, or bloody sweat. This very rare, yet well documented, phenomenon would have induced shock and great weakness in itself.

One can only assume that Jesus’ arrest was not a mild event. Although we’re not explicitly told in Scripture that He was assaulted in any way, Jesus was well known and despised. When He arrives for questioning the physical abuse is more overt. He was blindfolded, mocked, spat upon and struck in the face repeatedly. And let us keep in mind that these soldiers were no weaklings. They were the brutal Roman guard whose responsibility it was to enforce the rule of a ruthless Caesar hundreds of miles away. They were well trained fighters.

Sometime in the early Friday morning light, Jesus is taken to the Procurator of Judea, Pontius Pilate. It is under his command that our Lord is released into the hands of those who hate Him most. They joyfully seize Jesus, strip off His clothes and bind His hands to a post. The Roman legionnaire steps forward with the flagellum in hand. This is a short whip consisting of several heavy, leather thongs with two small balls of lead attached near the ends of each. The heavy whip is brought down with full force again and again across Jesus' shoulders, back, and legs. At first the heavy thongs cut through the skin only. Then, as the blows continue, they cut deeper into the subcutaneous tissues, producing first an oozing of blood from the capillaries and veins of the skin, and finally spurting arterial bleeding from vessels in the underlying muscles. The small balls of lead first produce large, deep bruises which are broken open by subsequent blows. Finally the skin of the back is hanging in long ribbons and the entire area is an unrecognizable mass of torn, bleeding tissue. When it is determined by the centurion in charge that the prisoner is near death, the beating is finally stopped.

Finally, the half-fainting Jesus is then untied and allowed to slump to the stone pavement, wet with His own blood. The Roman soldiers see a great joke in the provincial Jew claiming to be a King. They throw a robe across His shoulders and place a stick in His hand for a scepter. They still need a crown to make their travesty complete. A small bundle of flexible branches covered with long thorns, (commonly used for firewood) are plaited into the shape of a crown and this pressed into His scalp. Again there is copious bleeding (the scalp being one of the most vascular areas of the body.) After mocking Him and striking Him across the face, the soldiers take the stick from His hand and strike Him across the head, driving the thorns deeper into His scalp. Finally, they tire of their sadistic sport and the robe is torn from His back. This had already become adherent to the clots of blood and serum in the wounds, and its removal, just as in the careless removal of a surgical bandage, causes excruciating pain—almost as though He were again being whipped—and the wounds again begin to bleed.

In deference to Jewish custom, the Romans return His garments. The heavy patibulum (horizontal cross-arm) of the cross is tied across His shoulders, and the procession of the condemned Christ, two thieves and the execution detail of Roman soldiers, headed by a centurion begin a slow journey along the Via Dolorosa. In spite of His efforts to walk erect, the weight of the heavy wooden beam, together with the shock produced by copious blood loss, is too much. He stumbles and falls. The rough wood of the beam gouges into the lacerated skin and muscles of the shoulders. He tries to rise, but human muscles have been pushed beyond endurance. The centurion, anxious to get on with the crucifixion, selects a stalwart North African onlooker, Simon of Cyrene, to carry the cross. Jesus follows, still bleeding and sweating the cold, clammy sweat of shock. The 650 yard journey from the Fortress Antonia to Golgotha is finally completed. The Prisoner is again stripped of His clothes, except for a loin cloth which is allowed the Jews.

Now the crucifixion begins. Jesus is offered wine mixed with Myrrh, a mild analgesic mixture, but He refuses to drink. Simon is ordered to place the patibulum on the ground and Jesus is quickly thrown backward with His shoulders against the wood. (While some have traditionally thought of Jesus’ hands being the location of the nails, it is highly unlikely. Nails driven through the palms will strip out between the fingers when they attempted to support the weight of a human body. The misconception may have come through a misunderstanding of Jesus' words to Thomas, "Behold My hands." Anatomist, however, both modern and ancient, have always considered the wrist as part of the hand.) The legionnaire feels for the depression at the front of the wrist. He drives a heavy, square, wrought-iron nail through the wrist and deep into the wood. Quickly he moves to the other side and repeats the action, being careful not to pull the arms too tightly, but to allow some flexion and movement. The patibulum is then lifted into place at the top of the stipes (vertical arm of the cross) and the titulus (sign) reading, "Jesus of Nazareth, King of The Jews" is nailed in place.

The left foot is pressed backward against the right foot, and with both feet extended, toes down, a nail is driven through the arch of each, leaving the knees moderately flexed. The Victim is now crucified. As He slowly sags down with more weight on the nails in the wrist, excruciating, fiery pain shoots along the fingers and up the arms to explode in the brain—the nails in the wrist are putting pressure on the median nerves. As He pushes Himself upward to avoid this stretching torment, He places His full weight on the nail through His feet. Again, there is the searing agony of the nail tearing through the nerves between the metatarsal bones of the feet.

At this point, another phenomenon occurs. As the arms fatigue, great waves of cramps sweep over the muscles, knotting them in deep, relentless, throbbing pain. With these cramps comes the inability to push Himself upward. Hanging by His arms, the pectoral muscles are paralyzed and the intercostal muscles are unable to act. Air can be drawn into the lungs, but cannot be exhaled. Jesus fights to raise Himself in order to get one short breath. Finally, carbon dioxide builds up in the lungs and in the blood stream and cramps partially subside. Spasmodically, He is able to push Himself upward to exhale and bring in the life-giving oxygen. It was, undoubtedly during these periods that He uttered the seven short sentences which are recorded.

The first, looking down at the Roman soldiers casting lots for His garments, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."

The second, to the penitent thief, "Today you will be with me in Paradise."

The third, looking down at the terrified, grief-stricken, John, (the beloved Apostle), He said, "Behold your mother," and looking to Mary, His mother, "Woman, behold your son."

The fourth cry is from the beginning of the 22nd Psalm, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me?"

Hours of this limitless pain, cycles of twisting, joint-rending cramps, intermittent partial asphyxiation, searing pain as tissue is torn from His lacerated back as He moves up and down against the rough timber; then another agony begins. A deep crushing pain deep in the chest as the pericardium slowly fills with serum and begins to compress the heart. It is now almost over -- the loss of tissue fluids has reached a critical level. The compressed heart is struggling to pump heavy, thick sluggish blood into the tissues. The tortured lungs are making a frantic effort to gasp in small gulps of air. The markedly dehydrated tissues send their flood of stimuli to the brain.

Jesus gasps His fifth cry, "I thirst.”

A sponge soaked in Posca, the cheap, sour wine which is the staple drink of the Roman Legionnaires, is lifted to His lips. He apparently doesn't take any of the liquid. The body of Jesus is now in extremis, and He can feel the chill of death creeping through His tissues.

This realization brings out His sixth words, possibly little more than a tortured whisper. "It is finished."

His mission of atonement has been completed. Finally He can allow His body to die.

With one last surge of strength, He once again presses His torn feet against the nail, straightens His legs, takes a deeper breath, and utters His seventh and last cry, "Father, into thy hands I commit my spirit."

In order that the Sabbath be not profaned, the Jews asked that the condemned men be dispatched and removed from the crosses. The common method of ending a crucifixion was by crurufracture, the breaking of the bones of the legs. This prevented the victim from pushing himself upward, the tension could not be relieved from the muscle of the chest, and rapid suffocation occurred. The legs of the two thieves were broken, but when they came to Jesus they saw that this was unnecessary.

Apparently to make sure of death, the legionnaire drove his lance through the fifth interspace between the ribs, upward through the pericardium and into the heart. John 19:34 says that caused a "sudden flow of blood and water." Thus there was an escape of watery fluid from the sac surrounding the heart and blood from the interior of the heart. We, therefore, have rather conclusive postmortem evidence that our Lord died, not the usual crucifixion death by suffocation, but of heart failure due to shock and constriction of the heart by fluid in the pericardium. Jesus quite literally died of a broken heart.

It was my sins that put Jesus through this. Your sins did too. He did all of this for us. Yes, Easter is coming. Absolutely, the approaching celebration and joy is infinitely greater than the suffering and pain. But what He endured, for our sake, is real. So, this week, may we all be humbled and broken by the cross of Jesus Christ.

knowing God

2009-03-25T14:12:00.000-07:00

We are in the third week of a series called “Christianity 101.” Each week, as I have prepared my messages, I have become more and more aware of my own inability to teach about God. Even if I was the greatest teacher on the planet…even if my “students” were passionately engaged with the material…even if the environment was perfectly conducive for instruction…it would not be enough. It would not be nearly enough!

Knowing God is not an intellectual exercise. Yes, it involves our intellect. Yes, we use our brains to think about and study. Yes, we can utilize tools like logic, reason, history and science. But those things are all simply a beginning. To truly know God is to experience God. And to experience God is to be forever transformed by God.

The ancient Hebrews used to talk about knowing God in a much deeper sense than we do today. Dictionary.com’s first definition of the verb “to know” is to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and with certainty. Now, that’s not a bad definition, but it certainly isn’t complete either. It’s all about the head, but what about the heart, the emotions, the spirit? The Old Testament word for our verb “to know” is yada. It carries a much deeper connection to feeling and discovering and relationship. It is even used in a sexual sense as exemplified in Genesis 4:1. “Now Adam knew Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain…” (NKJV)

To this point in our series we have talked about God the Father. The main idea there is that God is love. God can be described in a lot of ways (i.e. holy, righteous, Judge, Master, etc.), but above them all, taking precedence, is love. Last week we learned more about God the Son. The thesis there is that Jesus came to demonstrate true life for us. His entire existence on earth, from birth to ascension, is a model for us to study and follow. Well, this Sunday we’re going to talk about God the Holy Spirit. I think my two dominant emotions heading into it are nervousness and excitement.

See, if there was ever an opportunity to truly know God, to experience God, it is found in seeking the Holy Spirit. The Spirit is our daily guide, friend, counselor and teacher. The Holy Spirit of God literally dwells within us every moment of every day. The Spirit of God warms our hearts, cools our temptations, stirs our emotions, calms our fears. The Holy Spirit is our true means of knowing God.

I don’t know exactly what this weekend holds, but I sense a high level of expectancy leading up to it. God has always done what He wants, when He wants, in the way He wants. But our study of Him, I believe, is pleasing to Him. Here we come, Holy Spirit! Meet us here!

storming the beach

2009-03-14T11:42:00.000-07:00

For years now I’ve viewed Holy Seed Community Church through the eyes of a military officer. In fact, we very boldly proclaimed September 1, 2007 as our spiritual D-Day. We saw it that way then and still do today. Well, in the past few weeks the Lord has been bombarding me with reminders of the opening images of Saving Private Ryan. I re-watched those gruesome moments this week. This bloody scene occurs on D-Day. Considering the amount of time Hitler had occupied that part of France and how heavily it was defended, the fact that the boats were even there was quite a miracle. To even set foot on that beach was amazing. But then the firing began.

Tom Hanks leaps into the water and almost dies instantly. Some soldiers are weighed down by too much gear and never even take one step toward the mission. Those that do, including Tom Hanks’ character, Captain John Miller, are shell shocked. There are several moments where he’s completely numb, ears ringing, unable to move. His men are screaming at him, his eyes are witnessing the most horrifying sights possible, but he simply stands there (actually, he kneels there) not knowing what to do or how to move forward. Finally, after what seems like an eternity during a firefight, he snaps out of it and begins to press on toward their goal.

If September 1st was our spiritual D-Day—simply setting foot on the enemy’s long-held ground of Seattle—then our first year was like that slow, arduous, shell-shocked trudge toward the beach. It took us months just to get our bearings and understand where we were and what was happening all around us. People would ask us how it was going and we didn’t even know how to respond. We looked around us and witnessed horrifying things, but were numb to it all. Finally, after a year of feeling dizzy and wounded, we snapped out of it.

The next thing Captain Miller has to do is rally his men to a safe place and decide what to do now. They can’t simply sit where they are and discuss their options. To remain in one spot is to face certain death. So, they bravely make their way up the beach and regroup. As best they can, they dodge machine gun fire, explosions and corpses in order to dive to the safest place possible. Based on their location, supplies and who’s survived the first fifty yards, they quickly realize that creativity and improvisation is required. Though a master plan was in place beforehand, in the heat of battle it serves only as a guide. These men are facing nearly impossible odds. They do the best they can with what the have where they are. That is the position of Holy Seed Community Church in March of 2009.

We are slowly and painfully making our way up the beach. The enemy is firing at us fast and hard because he desperately does not want to lose this strategic position. He has held it for a long time and will only be forced out. We have experienced much suffering and seen casualties, but, by the grace of God, we continue to move in incremental and important steps. Every person and every action has proven to be extremely difficult and extremely crucial to the completion of the mission.

Eventually Captain Miller and his courageous men clear a very narrow path to the enemy bunkers. Their bravery and sacrifice clears the way for many more soldiers to land and, eventually, for the allied forces to control this vital piece of territory in the larger war. Most historians agree that D-Day, despite the horrific cost in terms of human and material resources, was the turning point in the war. When the firing, explosions and screams finally cease, Captain Miller and his men are left shaken, weeping, wounded and terrified. They are given a few brief moments to rest and attempt to deal with the unbelievable trauma of war before the next grueling push.

God is still destroying lies and overthrowing fear within Holy Seed Community Church, but we now recognize a narrow path that needs to be cleared. We have almost reached the first objective. We’ve long passed the point of no return and, thanks be to God, have achieved a turning point in the war. The very core of our faith has been shaken and assaulted, but it withstood. A short rest and debrief is coming. The building and planting is just around the corner. Hoorah!

the day of the Lord

2009-03-11T15:39:00.000-07:00

Our faith community just finished reading a book together. It is a very short yet powerful work called Epic by John Eldredge. Not only was the book great, but our weekly discussions made it even better and more important. I loved to experience the interaction between each other, the book and, of course, Scripture. Fantastic!

Anyway, the final chapter of the book, Act Four, according to Eldredge, is called “The Kingdom Restored.” He paints a picture of what the end of God’s story looks like. It’s an image that includes wonderful dream-like thoughts of heaven and also horrible nightmare-like thoughts of hell. His point, which is a very good and Biblical one, is that the story had a beginning and it has an ending. At some point that only the Author knows, the narrative will end.

There is a phrase spoken throughout Scripture, but especially by the Old Testament prophets, that applies here. They continually talked about “the day of the Lord.” Now this day was spoken of in much the same way. In some cases it was the picture of paradise…when a lion can literally lie down with a lamb…when sickness, pain and sorrow cease…when evil is finally eradicated forever. In some cases, though, it’s the opposite depiction…when judgment for sin finally comes swift and hard…when all human control ends and we must pay for what we’ve done and how we’ve stewarded our time on this land.

Lots of people talk about “eternity.” Many are familiar with terms like “heaven” and “hell.” Just about everyone wants to end up in “the sweet by and by.” Regardless of our terminology, however, I think we must acknowledge this fact: there is an end to this story. One day life as we know it will cease. There are dozens of variations as to what happens at that point, but I think the Bible is fairly clear on the basics. On that day the Lord will make all things new again. It will all be restored. Whatever is broken gets fixed. Those who have remained faithful get rewarded. Those who rebelled get punished. God is love, but He is also just. And a just God must eventually make all things right again.

To those who stand opposed to God, this is very bad news. When a child is guilty and hiding, facing his/her parents is a dreadful thing. To those who stand with God, however, this is phenomenal news. When a child is forgiven and loved, facing his/her parents is a wonderful thing. “The day of the Lord” ought to be fantastic news for us all. It was meant to be that way. The whole idea is to seek God here and now, before it’s too late, while we still have a choice. See, our part in the story is quickly fading and if we wait too long…

The invitation stands. It’s there for all humanity everywhere. God does not play favorites with anyone and loves all of His children equally. Scripture implores us, and I implore you, not to toy with this eternal decision. He is calling to you today, right now. He has been calling your entire life. Answer Him. Speak back. Surrender control. Begin a new relationship today. I can promise it will be the best decision of your life!

surrender

2009-03-03T15:26:00.000-08:00

I think I could have been a good soldier. I’ve always imagined that if I hadn’t been called into pastoral ministry, I would have joined the military. I like the structure, the tradition, the honor. One of the hallmarks of our armed forces is to never give up, never give in, never surrender. We will fight on no matter the cost because we know it’s the right thing. To surrender would be an embarrassment; dishonoring to all that we are and what we believe.

To surrender is to give up, to yield, to submit. Maybe it’s because I’m a guy, but those words sound like poison to me! I know I’m not alone on this one! Most people detest the idea of submitting to anyone or anything. It’s painful to even think about relinquishing control, power or authority of any kind. I may not go out and intentionally pick any fights, but if I find myself in one, I’m not giving up or giving in for anything. Either win or die trying! What’s so ironic and difficult, though, is that Jesus asks us to surrender anyway.

We are at war. No, I’m not talking about Iraq or Afghanistan. I’m not referencing any current, physical war. I’m talking about something much more real. Yes, you did read that right. I’m talking about an invisible, spiritual war that is, in fact, much more real and much more significant that any visible, physical war.

This war saw its first casualty before the earth was even formed. It has plagued Adam and Eve, Jesus and Paul, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and you. You may not think about it a lot, but you feel it from time to time. There are some who have grown more accustomed to these unseen, spiritual forces and, therefore, recognize it more than others. But regardless of your level of involvement or your understanding of Truth, we all have one primary responsibility in this war: surrender.

See, the war is really not about us. We’ve just gotten caught in the middle of a firefight. This may sound a little far fetched to some, but this war is between two supernatural forces of good and evil. It began when Lucifer, a beautiful captain of the angels, rebelled against God Himself. Well, he should have known how that battle was going to turn out. He lost. He was crushed, in fact, and cast out of heaven—banished for all time. Now, he spends all his time and energy trying to get back at the One who so soundly defeated him. Unfortunately, we human beings are his best bet at retaliation.

There is a very real and yet very ignored battle going on right now for your heart. You feel it every time temptation peeks its head up and makes you wonder if you would get caught. You sense it whenever your pride is assaulted or your feelings overlooked. When we’re honest with ourselves, we recognize the battle. And, as expected, we want to fight back! To not fight back, to give up or give in just isn’t…well, natural. Our inclination is to win or die trying. So, most of us die…because we can’t win. We don’t stand a chance against these immortal forces of darkness. Even if all humanity were to unite together and fight as one, we would lose. We are utterly helpless in this battle. There is but one alternative: surrender.

Jesus is the only One who can help us. We are beyond assistance to anyone or anything else. We can’t win on our own. Certain death is on its way. But, if we surrender to Jesus, He will fight for us. He doesn’t join our cause, but we join His. We relinquish all our former (and false) rights, privileges and power. We freely submit all the control and yield to His will. We must forget the days that were all about us and acknowledge that it’s all about Him. It may sound odd from a visible, physical perspective, but the path to victory is through surrender. So…go ahead!

unseen

2009-02-24T15:16:00.000-08:00

This is where a lot of people get uncomfortable. I understand that. If I’m being honest, I get a little uncomfortable at this point too. The whole subject is slightly unnerving. It causes us to shift and squirm and wonder…but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe we need a little shaking. Perhaps we need a good wake up call. It’s very possible that we’re far too comfortable.

Here’s the disturbing reality: there is an unseen world out there. And this unseen world does not just run parallel to the seen world. There are times (more often than we’d like to admit, probably) that the unseen world intersects, crashes into or even derails the seen world. Most people pass it off as a weird “coincidence” or some kind of complex butterfly effect, but those are poor excuses. Deep down, we all know that. Those kinds of weak, logical responses don’t satisfy the experiences we’ve had or the sensations we feel.

Angels exist. Demons exist. There is a God and there is a devil. Heaven and hell are both real places. None of those things, for the most part, are seen, but that doesn’t make them untrue. There are a ton of things we can’t see, but we know to be real, right?

We can’t see the wind, but those in the path of a hurricane know it can still rip the roof off a house. We can’t see emotions, but a fight with your spouse, children or close friend will bring them right to the surface and often cause you to do strange, uncharacteristic things. No one sees love coming, but you know it when it hits you. No one is completely prepared for death because it is illusive, unpredictable, unseen. But it is a reality we all have to face eventually.

Actually, when you really think about it, the unseen is even more “real” than the seen. Do you ever get a “vibe” for a person? Have you ever just had a “gut-level” response to a situation? Can you hear that “little voice” in your head? We all make decisions based on feelings, hunches and intuition, don’t we? At least to a certain level, we know life isn’t always fair, bad things do happen to good people and things don’t always work out in the end. I wonder if there’s more going on than we can possibly know. I wonder if we’re ignoring a very real world simply because we can’t see and rationally prove it.

There is a powerful example of this in our nation’s economy right now. Everyone seems to be pointing fingers at everyone else, but there is really only one cause for this predicament: greed. Invisible, unseen, and yet very real, greed. All of us wanted more, faster. We built an unrealistic system in an attempt to satisfy that unseen monster. It lasted for a while, made us feel great, and then collapsed.

So now, there is another invisible, unseen, and yet very real monster that has taken greed’s place: fear. You’ve felt it, haven’t you? So have I! You’ve questioned whether or not you’re going to make it. I’ve questioned my job, wondering if I should get another. We’ve all heard the dark whispers that seem to evoke terror and dread about the future. Some people, it’s sad to say, have even taken drastic measures and harmed themselves and/or others.

Greed and fear are both unseen and, yet, very real. Even more “real,” in fact, than your wallet or Wall Street! God and the devil are both unseen and, yet, very real. Even more “real,” in fact, than your job or your house! It’s not enough to simply be aware of these unseen forces. One must be alert to them. Some of them are out to destroy us and some are trying to protect us. God chases us down because He wants to love us. The devil chases us down because to wants to kill us.

Who are you listening to? Which voice has your attention? Do you know how to tell the difference? Can you discern between the various invisible realities of your life? My prayer this week is that we move beyond awareness to alertness. I pray that we become diligent to accept and heed the voice of God. I pray that we learn to recognize and defend against the voice of the evil one. This is no mere fairy tale. This is not a game. The story is still being told and each part—yes, your part—is critical!

tension

2009-02-16T15:03:00.001-08:00

Yesterday our community began a discussion of Epic, by John Eldredge. We’re reading it together and began with just the Prologue and Act One. Well, I was simply thrilled with the whole day! Not only did we all actually read this section of the book, but everyone seemed to enjoy and get a lot out of it. Our conversation regarding these few pages was fantastic. The room was full of great insights and powerful questions. But I think the entire discussion, for us at least, could be boiled down to one word: tension.

Dictionary.com defines tension as “the state of being stretched or strained.” This word came up pretty quickly as we began talking. One person in particular said they felt like God was always placing them in positions of tension. God would allow a certain level of peace and contentment, but then force them into a more difficult situation where even more faith was needed or even more dependence required. To be honest, at first we weren’t sure if this tension was a good thing or a bad thing. I mean, none of us enjoy being stretched or strained! No one likes being forced into tough circumstances!

As the dialogue continued, though, and as different people offered different perspectives, it became clear that we all feel tension in one way or another. And it seems to be a pretty constant thing. There may be days or even weeks without feeling it, but tension is always close by, around the corner, waiting for us. So the question arose: Is it possible that tension is a good thing? Does God want us to live in a nearly constant posture of stretching and straining?

Act One of Epic is called “Eternal Love.” It’s about how God is a relational being—Three in One. Since before time began, He has existed in eternal fellowship with Himself. (I know that doesn’t make any logical sense, but this is the Trinity we’re talking about for crying out loud!) God, who is intimately relational, created humanity in His own image. Therefore, we are intimately relational. We can’t help it, shouldn’t apologize for it and can’t possibly change it. We are meant to exist in community with God and with others. Anything less than that…and we feel it. We sense it. We know something is not right. We are hardwired to God’s eternal love.

So there’s the sticking point. Each of us has this evil, sinful nature that wants to do our own thing and live our own lives independently of God and everyone else. But deep down, intuitively, we know we can’t. The other part of us wants—no…needs, requires—meaningful, authentic relationships with others. To truly be healthy, there is no other alternative. So we strain. We stretch. We fight. We struggle. Do you feel the tension? Can you identify?

We didn’t answer many questions yesterday. We didn’t try to alleviate the tension. We just let it be. We let it exist. We left it very open ended. See, the idea isn’t necessarily to “fix” all the problems and solve the world’s issues. That’s God’s job. Our job is to recognize where He is working and join in His redemptive plan. The story is already being told. And we are each characters in it. What comes next?

rich

2009-02-11T09:26:00.000-08:00

I’ve only known a few people in my life that I would consider “rich.” They own very large houses, drive luxury cars and have enormous bank accounts. Compared to me, those individuals are wildly rich.

I own a house too, though. (Well, at least my name is on the deed. I guess the bank technically owns it still…and unfortunately will for a long time!) I also own a car. Two of them, actually. And they’re both paid for. They’re not luxury cars by any means, but they get us around. I have a checking account and a savings account each with a little money in them. Furthermore, I have a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree. I have some grown up toys like an x-box, iPod and power tools. I own hundreds of books, DVDs and items of clothing. Compared to the rest of the world, I am wildly rich.

And all that is just stuff. What if being “rich” has nothing to do with money and material goods? Or, what if that’s only part of it? What about the intangibles? How do we put a price tag on our spouse or children? How do we quantify good listening skills? Could we ever really pay for a great friendship? Perhaps I’m a whole lot richer than I thought. Perhaps you are too.

Whether our bank accounts are bulging or not, we can give something financially. Regardless of what we’re going through right now, we can make an emotional contribution. No matter what our spiritual state, we matter to the Body of Christ. We usually don’t feel it and, to be honest, it’s very hard to measure, but we’re all extremely rich. Especially those of us who are privileged enough to reside in America. The rest of the world looks at us with disbelieving eyes. Oh, that we all had a bed to sleep in at night…a healthy body to work with…clean water to drink…a family to love.

Lately I’ve been praying that God would help me alter my perspective. I’m sick of looking at life through a negative lens. I’ve had it with a scarcity mindset. I’m tired of being discontent with what I already have. I want to see things through Jesus’ eyes. I want to see the good in every person and each situation. I want to recognize God’s hand at work when my little boy is sick and when money is tight. I want to praise God in an economic crisis and during rush hour.

We have been given so much. We are so blessed. God is so good. Now, what can we give? Who can we bless? In what ways can we be good?

Thank you, Rob Bell and the Nooma team for a fantastic resource!

open

2009-02-03T12:23:00.000-08:00

Creator. That’s a title we usually reserve for God and God alone. The opening pages of Scripture record how God created the heavens and the earth, the animals and plants, water and sky, and then humans. We are the apex of His creation, by the way. You and I are the only part of creation intentionally made in the image and likeness of the Creator. We resemble Him. We look, sound, smell and act like Him. His essence, at least in part, flows through and sustains us. Then, on the seventh day, God rested. He took a break from His creative powers. But did creation cease? Did things stop being created?

Have you ever seen a baby elephant? Hilarious, precious…and miraculous. The elephants God created were given the ability to create themselves. Have you ever learned about the powerful little seed inside an acorn, the spores underneath a leaf of a fern or the mating practices of salmon? Amazing! All of God’s creation can, in turn, create.

I took health class at my public school in junior high. They went through all the required sex education stuff, but I don’t think it ever sunk in until my wife got pregnant the first time. Suddenly it wasn’t a baby. It was my baby. I began to truly understand the basics about conception and fetal development. On the day of Josiah’s birth, as my wife and I cried together, I was dumbfounded at the reality of what just happened. We created a new life! God did the hard part, of course, but we participated! Two ordinary humans were instrumental in the creation of a brand new human! Phenomenal!

This past week I began thinking about creation in more detail. Not only do we humans have the ability to create more humans, but our creative possibilities are almost limitless. Consider some of the creations you use nearly every day: a motorized car instead of legs, a refrigerator instead of blocks of ice, a cell phone to call anywhere in the world… We created incandescent light bulbs, the World Wide Web and a flying machine to take people to the moon. Even right now, as I type, I am creating something from nothing. We rarely think about our creative power and potential. Isn’t that sad?

I believe the essence of our Christian faith is to reconnect with God, our Creator. He, the ultimate Creator, loves and wants a relationship with us, the puny, yet significant, creation. And not only that, but He invites us to join in on His plans, His adventures, His exploits. We don’t just have to sit back and be observers, but can actually play a role—a key role—in His story (aka History).

Everything you do matters. And what you don’t do, that matters too. Everything you say matters. And the things you choose not to say, yeah, that matters too. Whether you like it or not, whether you believe it or not, you are a participant in the unfolding drama. You are playing a part. You have a role in the story. Remain open to the Creator—He gives fantastic notes and direction. Remain open to the story itself—you never know where it’s going to lead.

Thank you, Rob Bell and the Nooma team for a fantastic resource!

kickball

2009-01-28T16:15:00.000-08:00

This past week our community of faith had a very interesting conversation. It revolved around the idea that God is good and knows better than we do. The dialogue was interesting (and frustrating) because we all know the right answers, but struggle to apply them.

See, we know that God knows better, but we try our own ideas out anyway. We know the Bible is right, but we ignore it anyway. We know God loves us, but our feelings tell us something different. We know that even the difficult, trying times are ultimately for our good, but, especially in the midst of them, we forget. Oh, how easily and quickly we forget.

If I’m being really honest, I’m pretty shocked at myself. I’ve been a Christian my whole life and have been in church ministry for more than a decade. My Dad is a pastor too, which means I quite literally grew up in church and, yet, I can’t seem to get this thing down. I wrestle with this issue constantly and often find myself wondering what it’s going to take for me to finally get it.

God is bigger than us, stronger than us, wiser than us…on and on and on we could go. So, if those things are true, why do we fight Him so much?! Why is it so hard to trust Him in every situation whether good or bad, happy or sad? At least in part, I think it’s because of our human perspective. Like a child who fusses over not getting a toy, so we fuss over our situations and circumstances. Scripture is clear, though, that we’ll never fully understand God…in this life, at least. His thoughts and ways are higher than ours (read Isaiah 55:6-9). That’s a humbling, but very accurate statement. We only see things from our small, mortal, flawed, human perspective. God, on the other hand, sees all of time and space in one glance.

So, maybe the question, then, is this: what does trust in God look like? How does it play out in our daily lives? What does it mean to trust God in every situation and circumstance? Boy, that gets down to the nitty gritty of life, doesn’t it? We can trust Him with our children and spouse. We can trust His plan for our job and career. We can trust His leadership in our love life and educational path. We can trust Him with our money and our friendships. We can trust Him because, well, He is good.

We do not know best. We often think we do, but we don’t. He does. May we all learn to trust Him instead of ourselves. May we know, truly know in our hearts, that God is good all the time and that all the time God is good.

Thank you, Rob Bell and the Nooma team for a fantastic resource!

rain

2009-01-22T13:50:00.000-08:00

Why do bad things happen to good people? That’s one of the textbook, unanswerable questions, isn’t it? We’ve all asked it at one time or another. We all wrestle with the “whys” of life. And while there’s not really an answer to it, there is hope beyond it. It’s not all bad. In fact, many people, including me, have discovered that their most wonderful, God-filled moments came as a direct result of the bad, painful, difficult stuff.

We humans are stubborn, hard-headed, individualistic creatures. I wish that wasn’t the truth, but it is. That is our reality. We rarely learn things the first time and hardly ever observe and discover truth from another person’s life. We have to learn it for ourselves on a personal level, don’t we? And usually it comes from banging our heads against a wall several dozen times before it actually sinks in. What’s amazing about our God, though, is that He uses those stubborn, hard-headed, individualistic times to bring about beautiful, transforming, corporate miracles.

Every person on the planet has experienced suffering—some more than others. Many wake up every single day with almost unbearable financial stress. Some wake up not knowing if they’ll eat. Many have experienced the death of a close family member or friend. Some have never known the unconditional love of another person. Many are homeless; some are terminally ill. Many are physically disabled; some are mentally disabled. Whatever your pain, though, to a large degree, it is shared. And it is shared not only by a mass of humanity, but by Creator.

God continually asks us to come to Him. It is an open invitation. It’s not just for those who look pretty and clean and smell nice. It’s also for those of us who reek of sin and have a filthy habit or two or twelve. He doesn’t just befriend those who have it all together, but goes after those who have been rejected by society and who are on the outskirts of life. It almost seems, in fact, that God is even more interested in the down-and-out than He is in the up-and-coming. He did say, after all, that He came not for the healthy, but for the sick (Mark 2:17).

Today might be awful. You may feel depressed, unmotivated and exhausted. May you come to see that God’s invitation is for you in particular. He longs to hold you and comfort you and love you unconditionally. Draw close to Him today and feel His presence.

Thank you, Rob Bell and the Nooma team for a fantastic resource!

bullhorn

2009-01-15T10:49:00.001-08:00

I like to imagine certain scenes in the Bible. Maybe you do this too. I try to picture the faces of the crowd when they watched Lazarus walk out of his grave. I try to envision what it felt like to be Peter walking on the water. What was the weather like on those days? What did it smell and sound like? What were the logical, only-human brains of these people telling them as the natural laws of our world were being broken?

Another scene I like to imagine is found in Matthew 22. Jesus has been teaching the people and, like always, gathered a crowd. There are all types loitering around to hear. Some are faithful and zealous. Some are simply curious. And then some are quite angry at it all. The Pharisees, for example, can’t stand Jesus. And His wild popularity among the people doesn’t help. Until He came along, the Pharisees were the cream of the crop, the highly respected ones, the keynote speakers and sell-out artists. Now, Jesus has messed it all up. And that brings us to our scene.

One of these jealous and rather ticked-off Pharisees thinks of a question—a trick question. I imagine that he walked up to Jesus with a gleam in his eye and a sly grin on his face. He probably dished out some false respect and asked, in a voice certainly loud enough for the surrounding masses to hear, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

What do you think the crowd did right then? I think they probably fell silent. How do you think Jesus’ Twelve disciples were feeling at that moment? My gut tells me they suddenly got very nervous for their Master. See, Jesus had a lot to consider. The Old Testament Law (Torah) consists of five (5) very long and detailed books. And then there is the Prophets (like Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel) and even the Writings (like Psalms and Proverbs). Out of all that, what would Jesus choose? How could He possibly respond?

And what about Jesus? He knew this was a trick question. (One of the perks of being God, you know.) He understood the selfish motivation behind it and knew the heart of the one asking. In my mind, Jesus is also smiling, but it’s a very different smile. His is one of quiet confidence. It’s the kind of smile that makes the Pharisee’s smile disappear. I think He probably waited for a few seconds. Not because He was racking His brain, but just because He wanted the moment and the question to sink in. Then, when the timing is perfect, just as everyone is leaning in, He answers. “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Don’t you know that Pharisee was stunned silent? Not only was this the perfect answer, it was more than he asked for! He asked for one—the greatest—singular…but Jesus didn’t play by this Pharisee’s rules. Jesus always seems to have His own set of rules, doesn’t He?! I imagine the guy looked back at his Pharisee buddies with wide eyes as if to say, “Well? A little help here… Say something! Anything!!!” His buddies probably just shrugged their shoulders and gave the cringe-look, like when you watch your friend attempt to clear the jump, but he just crashes and burns.
Jesus, on the other hand, is probably ecstatic. Even though the motivation behind it was wrong, the question itself is great! And He is probably thrilled it came up! Our faith is all about love. Everything else hangs on that. Everything! All the other commandments and rules and life principles…the tens of thousands of books and CDs and seminars and conferences…without love, they’re useless, worthless, silly!

Oh, and let’s not forget that Jesus gave us two—plural. To Jesus, the greatest commandment of love is two sided. It’s not just about loving God. It’s also about loving people. Those two things are connected. In fact, they’re so intimately intertwined that, to Jesus, they are one. The way we love God spills out into the way we love people. The way we love people is the direct result of the way we love God. You can’t have one without the other.

Think of it this way: the way we love God = the way we love our children = the way we love our coworkers = the way we love our neighbors = the way is love our employer = the way we love the atheist = the way we love the waitress = the way we love our spouse = the way we love the gay rights community = the way we love God.

Christianity is about a lot of other things, but they’re all secondary. They are all hidden behind the thing. What it all boils down to, what really matters, is love.

Thank you, Rob Bell and the Nooma team for a fantastic resource!

dust

2009-01-05T17:32:00.000-08:00

I want to be covered in the dust of my Rabbi. In ancient Israel a rabbi would walk from town to town teaching the people and providing insight into the Word of God. Each rabbi had a small pack of disciples who would literally follow in his footsteps and mimic his every move. Their goal in life was to become like their rabbi. They wanted to say what he said, go where he went and do what he did. They were on the heels of their rabbi all day, every day. And, by the end of each day, they were usually covered in the dust of their rabbi. Literally! It’s kind of an unpleasant and yet a beautiful depiction of how I want to be and live.

The English word that comes to mind is “obvious.” I want it to be obvious that I am a disciple of Jesus Christ, my Rabbi. I don’t ever want people to wonder if I’m a Christian. I don’t want to leave room for any doubt. I never want to be half-hearted or lukewarm. I want to be a white-hot, passionate, dedicated and vigilant follower of God. When people see me, I want them to see Jesus. I want to say what He says, go where He goes and do what He does. At the end of each day, I want to be covered in the dust of my Rabbi.

I know there’s a danger here. This kind of attitude can quickly morph into a “holier-than-thou” kind of perception where people think that one person is better or more spiritual than another. My passion will probably be mistaken for pride. My dedication may be seen as over-the-top or impossible-to-reach. I know there is a danger in being misunderstood. But Jesus was misunderstood. Even His small pack of disciples didn’t really understand Him until after His death. And Jesus didn’t seem to mind the misunderstanding and wrong perceptions.

Today I dedicate myself anew. I don’t want to flirt with “the line.” I am not going to walk “the fence.” I don’t even want to know where the line is! I don’t want to be able to see the fence from where I am! I want to pursue my Rabbi and the things of God with such abandon that He is my entire focus. I want to love God and love others in a way that makes me seem weird and peculiar. Perhaps that would be a great sign of His dust!

Thank you, Rob Bell and the Nooma team for a fantastic resource!

reset

2009-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

Like most kids, I loved video games growing up. I remember my first experience at my neighbor’s house on his phenomenal, newfangled machine called a Comodor 64. WOW! Then came the Atari with the amazing graphics and sounds of Pitfall. Finally, one company rose to the top of the video game pile and accepted the nerd challenge. They created the system to beat all systems: Nintendo! The original was a thing of beauty. Mario, Mario 2, Mario 3, Mario 89… Ahhh, memories.

That wonderful contraption had two huge buttons on it. One was “power” and the other was “reset.” If you (not me, of course) were doing poorly on a game, the reset button was your (not my, of course) saving grace. Simply hit that button and start over again. Some people (not me, of course) needed that advantage badly. It was a clean slate. Fresh. Brand new. And, as an added bonus, you had the knowledge of what you did and how you played before the reset button was hit! It was phenomenal. Sometimes I wonder if this whole church planting experience is a spiritual reset.

In some ways, the thought of a brand new church energizes me. We get to start over! Fresh. Brand new. We don’t have all the hang-ups of an established church in a religious culture. We have an opportunity to build something truly healthy and truly beautiful from the ground up! And, as an added bonus, we have the knowledge of what goes on in tons of other churches across the country!

In some ways, the thought of a brand new church paralyzes me. We have to start over! Fresh. Brand new. There’s no established people to work with, tradition to lean upon or culture to learn from. It’s all on our shoulders to build something from the ground up. And, as an added "bonus," everyone is watching and waiting. We don’t know how to do this! Where do we go now?! Where should we invest our time and energy?! What does a truly healthy church even look like?!

For several months now, God has been challenging and teaching me to view our circumstances through a different lens. At moments like this, I must admit, my perspective is predominantly negative. The challenge is to see it from a positive angle, through eyes of faith. "I get to reset" instead of "I have to reset." Maybe this is a blessing and not a curse. Maybe it's best to go slow and be intimate. Once again, perhaps God doesn’t want me to necessarily do anything for Him, but to just be here with Him.

I don’t know why this is so unbelievably hard for me, but it is. I've struggled with it my entire life. But lately it's different. I feel like God has stripped me down to nothing, reset me, as a person, and is now building me back up brand new, healthier and more Godly. I'm learning to trust Him completely, in every situation, with every issue. I'm learning how to push through the fear and ignore the lies. I'm learning that He really does know better than I do. Isn't that something?! Before God could plant a new church through me, He had to replant me!

It's a new year. 2008 is gone and 2009 is here. Even our President-elect is promising newness, change, a reset. Whether our circumstances don't change all that much, or if the situation is altered dramatically, maybe a reset is still possible. Maybe this year we can reset our minds, reset our hearts, reset our attitudes. Maybe we can gain a new, healthy, Godly perspective. Maybe...

a big wheel Christmas

2008-12-24T08:00:00.000-08:00

In September of 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds. He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries.

Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job. The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I did my best to convince whoever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck.

The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town, was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel. An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11:00 PM until 7:00 AM. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night.

I raced home and called the teenager down the street that babysat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal.

That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel. When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money - half of what I averaged every night.

As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air every night on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home. One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful, brand new tires. "Had angels taken up residence in Indiana?" I wondered. I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.

I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids. I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys. Then I hid them in the basement so there would be something on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys' pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.

On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and finally left before the sun came up.

When it was time for me to go home at 7:00 AM on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old, battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled the lid off the top box. Inside was a whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: it was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes: candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, cakes and pie filling and flour. There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And, in the last box, there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll.

As I drove back through empty streets, the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life. I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.

Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop.

Jesus and the snow geese

2008-12-16T08:00:00.000-08:00

There once was a man who didn't believe in God. And he didn't hesitate to let others know how he felt about faith and religious holidays, like Christmas. His wife, however, did believe. And despite his disparaging comments, she raised their children to also have faith in God and His Son, Jesus.

One snowy December 24th, his wife was taking their children to a Christmas Eve service at the small community church. She asked him to come, but he refused. "That story is nonsense!" he said. "If there is a God, why would He lower Himself and come to Earth as a man? That's ridiculous!" So she and the children left while he stayed home.

A bit later, the winds grew stronger and the snow turned into a blizzard. As the man looked out the window, all he saw was white - a blinding snowstorm. He sat down to relax before the fire for the evening when he heard a loud thump. Something had hit the window. Then another thump and another. He looked out again, but still couldn't see more than a few feet. When the snow let up a little, he ventured outside to see what could have been beating on his window. In the field near his house, he saw a flock of wild snow geese.

Apparently they had been flying south for the winter when they got caught in the snowstorm and couldn't go on. They were lost and stranded on his farm, with no food or shelter. They just flapped their wings and flew around the field in low circles blindly and aimlessly. A few of them had flown into his window, it seemed. The man felt sorry for these poor, beautiful creatures and wanted to help them. The barn would be a great place for them to stay, he thought. It is warm and safe; surely they could spend the night and wait out the storm.

He walked over to the barn and opened the doors wide, then watched and waited, hoping they would notice the open barn and go inside. But the geese just fluttered around aimlessly and did not seem to notice the barn or realize what it could mean for them. The man tried to get their attention, but that just seemed to scare them and they moved further away. He went into the house and came back out with some bread, broke it up, and made a trail of crumbs leading to the barn. They still didn't catch on.

Now he was getting frustrated. He got behind them and tried to shoo them toward the barn, but they only got more scared and scattered in every direction except toward the barn. Nothing he did could get them to enter the only safe and warm place around. "Why don't they follow me?!" he exclaimed. "Can't they see this is the only place where they can survive the storm?" Suddenly it dawned on him that they simply wouldn't follow a human. "If only I were a goose," he thought out loud, "then I could save them." Suddenly he had an idea.

He went into the barn and got one of his own geese. Carrying it in his arms, he circled around behind the flock of wild geese and carefully released it. His goose flew through the flock and straight into the barn. One by one the other geese followed it to safety. He stood silently for a moment as the words he had spoken a few minutes earlier replayed in his mind: "If only I were a goose, then I could save them!"

The prideful words he uttered to his wife just a couple hours ago came back like a punch in the chest. "If there is a God, why would He lower Himself and come to Earth as a man? That's ridiculous!" At that moment, for the very first time, Christmas made sense. We were lost and blind and dying. In the person of Jesus Christ, though, we finally had One to walk among us and show us the way.

As the winds died down and the blinding snow settled to the ground, the man's soul became quiet. He pondered this wonderful thought. Years of doubt and disbelief vanished like the passing storm. He fell to his knees in the snow and whispered his very first prayer: "Thank You, God, for coming in human form to show me the way!"

please remember

2008-12-09T10:09:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite time of the year! I absolutely love Christmas. In fact, I’ve been known to break out the Christmas spirit (including music!) as early as September. I get caught up in the cold weather, the real Christmas tree and all the trouble it is to decorate, the garland and bows on the front porch, the wrapping of presents… It’s all just so beautiful and satisfying.

But, in a very sad way, this is also one of the most depressing times of the year! To a degree, I absolutely dread Christmas. Making the lists and then checking stuff off can be expensive and infuriating. Dealing with all the crazed shoppers is a scary task. So many people feel desperately lonely and sad. And all of us tend to forget what this glorious, national holiday is all about.

I honestly wonder what Jesus thinks of our American Christmas celebration. It’s full of parties, children’s musicals and gift giving, but does that matter? We busy ourselves with buying, spending and traveling, but is that what it’s all about? Please don’t misunderstand me. I do all of that too and even enjoy most of it, but it grieves me to know that we so quickly forget.

We forget that God created this spinning blue dot in the universe, formed our bodies from the dust and has numbered the hairs of our head. We forget that He joyfully chose to come to us as a human. We forget that Jesus’ entire earthly existence was an example of how to love, live and lead. We forget that Christmas can (and maybe should) be celebrated without the gifts, lights, trees, parties, movies, music, etc.

This year I want to remember. Remember what it’s all about. Focus on the incarnation of Jesus Christ. Center myself on His love for this sinful, evil world. Consider the fact that a tiny baby, born in a barn some 2000 years ago, transformed our world forever. This year I want to remember. And I want you too as well.

I’m not sure what you can/should do to remember. Different people do different things. My family has always had a tradition of reading the Christmas story together on Christmas morning. We end with the part about the wise men and their three gifts, then we give our little boy three (fairly inexpensive) gifts. Some families offer themselves in service of some kind to those less fortunate (i.e. serving in a soup kitchen, passing out gifts, etc.) A lot of churches have communion and/or prayer services to reflect upon. There are hundreds of creative and practical things we can do to curb this horrible tendency toward forgetfulness.

Please remember! God, help me remember. I’m going to give and receive gifts this year, but that’s not what it’s about. Help me remember that. We have a beautiful tree and lovely decorations again, but that’s not what it’s about. We’re going to travel a long way to see family, eat delicious food, listen to great music, go to worship services, etc., but even that is not what it’s about. Please, Lord, help us remember You. May all the traditions, every song and movie, all the family gatherings and stories, may it all reflect and remind and highlight You, Lord. And may we rediscover Your love for the world as a whole and for us as individuals. We love You too, Jesus! We love You too!

Holy Seed summarized

2008-12-03T10:13:00.000-08:00

I can see it. I get it. I understand. But maybe because it’s been inside me for so long. I’ve had a long time to chew on it. And I know Carla gets it too. But that’s probably because I never stop talking about it. I’m always talking about and relating it to something else. For the rest of the world, though, that’s not the case. The whole concept is still pretty new. So, in an attempt to make sense out of a very broad and huge vision, I’m making a stab at it. I’m attempting to connect all the dots and tie it all together in a clear and concise way. This is what Holy Seed Community Church is all about.

For months and months, every time we gathered together, we talked about our core values. There are twelve (12) of them total, but they really fit within the framework of our three-fold mission. They help explain the mission. They describe the kind of atmosphere we’re trying to create and exist in. The danger in listing them is that it will just be a list. In reality and in practice, they are much more than a collection of buzz words. They are deeply held, primal beliefs. They are foundational to the way we relate to Jesus and to our culture. You can, of course, read more about each core value individually, but, as a group, here’s how they stack up within our three-fold mission of loving, living and leading like Jesus.

Loving like Jesus feels like:

Community
Grace
Trust
Worship

Living like Jesus feels like:

Faithfulness
Authenticity
Transparency
Stewardship

Leading like Jesus feels like:

Creativity
Unity
Intentionality
Family

Those core values are like the soil in which we grow. They keep us rooted and nourished so we remain healthy and strong. Our mission would flounder and feel very “pie-in-the-sky” without them. With them, though, our mission has power and influence. They make the mission real. They make it stick. They are necessary because the mission, by itself, is huge and unattainable.

Loving, living and leading like Jesus…that’s why we exist. That is our enormous mission from God. I liken it to a relational journey. You never know exactly where you’re going or who you’re going to meet. At times it’s a profoundly pleasurable experience. At other times it drives you to the brink of a nervous breakdown. And there is always deep mystery involved. We try to figure it all out and systematize everything, but deep down we know that’s impossible. We constantly mess up, take a wrong exit, misread a situation and/or hit the brakes. In the end, though, we press on because we have vision. We see something we want or need, something that’s right, good and pure. We push through all the pain and break through every wall because we know that it’s worth it all…in the end.

Holy Seed pushes through, presses on and perseveres because we were given a vision. God allowed us to see what could and should be. Our vision has not been turned into reality yet, but it will be someday. That’s why we were sent on the mission—to achieve the vision. And that’s why we hold so deeply to the core values—to fulfill the mission. But it all boils down to the beautiful, God-given vision. Vision will always be the bottom line. In our heads and in our hearts we can see it. When our imaginations are loosed, this is what we picture. When we dream, this is what it looks like.

a swarm of individuals on mission every day in their homes, at the office, supermarket, coffee shop, etc
a generation of children who know and follow the Godly example of their parents
a group of husbands and wives whose marriages exemplify what it means to love and honor each other
a host of families that are a beacon of hope and service to each other, their friends and their neighbors
a network of churches throughout greater Seattle that work together for one purpose
a unified people group whose art and passions are reflective of their Creator
a whole city that cares more about holiness than happiness

Can you see it yet? Perhaps God’s dream is becoming your dream too? Our prayer is that others will catch this vision, join our mission, and hold to these core values. We honestly believe if that happens, the vision will become the reality.

jealous God

2008-11-25T10:47:00.000-08:00

We’ve been married for 10 years! Carla and I celebrated a decade of marriage this past weekend with a wonderful trip to Leavenworth…alone! Oh, man, that was sure nice. It was so great to spend one-on-one time with just Carla. That’s been quite a challenge lately and I found myself really missing her.

Neither of us have ever been the jealous type, but we just earnestly missed each other. I tend to get caught up in my pastor role, doing church stuff. Carla tends to get caught up in her mommy role, doing house stuff. And like just about every other couple on the planet, we get sucked into the busyness of life and find ourselves longing for more husband/wife time. Simply because I love Carla so much, I can find myself feeling a little jealous. I would never be satisfied with only part of my wife. I don’t want half or even 99% of Carla. I love her so deeply, cherish every moment we get to spend together and always desire more. In that sense, I am a very jealous husband. And so is God.

We, the people of God, are called the Bride of Christ (check out Revelation 21). He is our Groom, our Husband. If we have chosen to love and follow Jesus, if we call ourselves “Christians,” we are married to Him. And we cannot fathom the depths of love He feels for us. He too cherishes every moment and always desires more. God is not satisfied with only part or even most of us. He wants all of us! He is a jealous God!

So what should this heavenly union look like? How do we ensure a good, strong marriage with God? Well, not to oversimplify, but let’s compare the heavenly relationship to the earthly.

Carla and I are in constant communication, every day. In fact, to ensure that we’re really hearing each other well and making wise decisions together, we schedule regular family meetings. And there are no secrets in our marriage. She knows every detail of my life and I know every detail of hers—every one. How often do we communicate with God? What is the quality of those conversations?
Carla and I make time to go on dates together. Yes, it can be difficult to set aside the time and money, but we do it because it’s a priority to us. Even a few hours alone together can be so refreshing. Do we ever set aside the time and money to spend one-on-one time with God? What are those “dates” with God like?
Carla and I help each other. She’s actually better at this than I am, but we earnestly try to be one another’s best partner and biggest supporter. She is my right arm when it comes to anything church related. I lean on her almost to a fault. For my part, I try to help her with anything house related. We’re in this thing together. We’re a team. Are we on God’s team? Does He do all the work and we reap all the benefits? When was the last time we asked Him how we could help?
Carla and I loved our anniversary trip. We’ve made a commitment to do that more often because we could immediately tell it was healthy for our marriage. It was a dedicated chunk of time where we could focus on each other. We both felt like we were back in college, dating. It was thrilling and rejuvenating. Do we ever dedicate an entire day or weekend to God? What would it look like to spend that much time with our heavenly Spouse?

When God gave us the Ten Commandments, He acknowledged that He was jealous (see Exodus 20:5). He let us know, right from the start, that He wants us completely, body and soul. He won’t be satisfied with anything else. And, lest we forget, He already gave Himself to us completely, body and soul. I wonder what we will give Him in return.

family

2008-11-18T10:56:00.000-08:00

It takes a village to raise a child.

That used to be a powerful sentiment in our culture. It still is in a few places in the world, but not here. Unfortunately, I think it’s been demoted into some kind of past, pleasant ideal. We postmoderns are far too individualistic for such a concept. We do things our way and no one is going to impose their ideas on us! And the results are obvious and heartbreaking.

It’s always difficult to nail down hard statistics, but most polls report that the divorce rate in America is more than 50%. If you think that’s inflated, ask yourself this question: do I know any divorcees? How many? It’s sad. Connected to that fact, about a third of all children (under the age of 18) live with only one parent. They are desperately needing and missing the influence of either an ever-constant mother or father. Then there are the millions of kids that lack both. Perhaps they live with a grandparent, close relative or are being bounced around the foster care system. Certainly, some of these cases are legitimate due to a tragic death, etc. Most of them, however, are painfully unnecessary.

In the ancient nation of Israel, the focus was always on the next generation. The adults directed their energies toward teaching and passing along their faith in God. Why? Because they understood that their children were the hope and future of the entire nation! They did not have any kind of formal, educational degrees or youth ministry training. Yet everything they did was for the purpose of instilling the love and fear of God into their kids. And there were no church children’s pastors or youth leaders either. A child’s father and mother were his primary teachers, but every single adult felt the weight and responsibility to help raise the children. They were all expected and even required to minister to the children. We are missing that sense of family.

Even if we don’t have biological children of our own, we have a duty to spend time mentoring those who come behind and follow us. Some wonderful examples of this relationship in Scripture are Moses and Joshua, Eli and Samuel, Elijah and Elisha and, of course, Jesus and His twelve disciples. Most of the important lessons in life are not taught, but caught. We cannot learn them unless we have someone who will walk beside us, show us personally and help us learn through experience. We long for that environment of family.

And this responsibility is bigger than what we might normally designate as “family.” In reality it extends throughout our circles of influence. We can choose who we want to be in our family. What is adoption if not the choice to bring another precious life into one’s inner circle? In the Greek language, which the New Testament was written in, the key word was oikos, or household. Our household would certainly include blood relatives, but also close friends, neighbors and even coworkers. So many of our contemporary relationships are surface-level. We talk about the game last night or the upcoming American Idol season, but never discuss things of real worth like our marriages, feelings and inner struggles. We all crave that sense of family.

Now let’s not sugarcoat this. It’s not easy or quick. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Raising a family is extraordinarily messy. And I don’t just mean this in a literal, physical sense. Raising a family is emotionally messy, mentally messy, socially messy and spiritually messy. No book, seminar or conference can properly instruct. No one can ever be fully prepared. We learn as we go, through on-the-job training. There will be lots of mistakes and times where we’re tempted to throw our hands in the air, but we press on. We’re committed to working through the mess no matter what. We need that dedication of family.

God created and blessed the family unit at the very beginning of our story (Genesis 2). It was one of the first things He did. That must mean it’s important. Holy Seed Community Church is fiercely committed to family. We’re going to strive to be the best spouses, parents and friends possible. We’re going to raise Godly children (Holy Seed) and watch them grow toward Jesus. And, thankfully, we can do it together. On our own, we would fail miserably. The wise man or woman knows that it takes a village to raise a child.

intentionality

2008-11-11T13:45:00.000-08:00

Plan your work and then work your plan.

What did you dream about as a kid? Did you want to be a pro ball player? Maybe you imagined yourself as president of the United States. Perhaps you wanted to sing to a packed Carnegie Hall. Well, did it happen? Did you accomplish those dreams?

That’s not fair, though, is it? We all have lofty dreams as children. Let’s be more realistic. What did you dream about as a young adult? In your late teens and early twenties, as you were deciding who you wanted to be for the rest of your life, how did you picture it? Did you want to live in this city and work in that field? Maybe you imagined a family and close friends. Perhaps you pictured yourself starting a company. Well, did it happen? Did you accomplish those dreams?

How many of us actually see our dreams come true? How many people experience the fulfillment of their deepest hopes and desires? Why do we so often find ourselves struggling just to hold on? Do you ever collapse in bed at the end of the day, wondering what the whole point was? Did anything of value even happen? Why?

I don’t mean to oversimplify the complex matrix that is life, but allow me to share an observation. I have met and talked with hundreds of people who share similar frustrations. They have so many hopes, desires and passions within. They imagine themselves being and doing so many wonderful things. They have great vision, but very little motivation. They have fantastic dreams, but hardly any initiative. They know where they want to be, but have no idea how to get there. In short, they lack a very important core value: intentionality.

Intentionality is strategic. In a military sense it means having the broad, overall view and knowing which pieces fit where and why. It’s having a plan of who is going to do what and when. And it’s flexible, having a contingency plan just in case the first one doesn’t work out.

Intentionality is premeditated. In a court of law we usually hear this word as a negative—something like premeditated murder. That means the action had been thought through. It means knowing what you’re getting into, counting the cost, preparing yourself for the future.

Intentionality is purpose-driven. It’s not some haphazard, shoot-from-the-hip move. It’s not random and without reason. It makes decisions and moves because it’s after something specific. There is a goal, an objective, a target in mind.

Intentionality knows how to set priorities. There are some things that are more important than others. That may not sound “fair,” but it’s certainly true. Some feelings may get hurt. Some distractions may get ignored. We say “no” to a lot of good things because we’re waiting for and working toward the best things.

Intentionality is very serious about opportunity. Because God/life refuses to be scripted and boxed in, we remain alert for the unknown. We allow for the mysterious, out-of-the-blue moments to seize. Many of these, of course, are to be rejected as a distraction. But some…some only come once in a lifetime.

Intentionality always speaks of direction. Life is a journey, a process. And every life is pointed somewhere, heading toward something or someone. Sadly, some are pointed directly toward selfish gain, unnecessary suffering or “the American dream.” Others add beauty, luster and joy to what is already there.

Would the above terms describe my life? Am I an intentional person? Are you? Certainly we’re not going to see all of our life goals and personal dreams come to fruition in one fell swoop. But we can begin today. We can start right now. We can make up our minds to take the first step toward our deepest desires, highest hopes and wildest dreams. Holy Seed Community Church is a place of intentionality. We are going to pursue the things of God with reckless abandon. We know what He has called us to and now we’re chasing it. We’re going to plan our work and then work our plan.

unity

2008-11-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

Everyone is great at something.

Unity is similar to love in many ways. We all want it, but few ever really sustain it. It’s talked about constantly, but rarely pursued with passion. And it’s very misunderstood.

I’m always shocked at how many people think “unity” means “uniformity.” They just assume that the whole idea is born out of a very negative, don’t-be-who-you-are-but-change-into-this kind of philosophy. (You’ll just have to use your imagination for the mean authority figure shaking his/her finger at you.) Most people see the huge benefits of unity, but don’t fully buy into it because, well, they want to be who they are. They are a round peg and see a square hole; they don’t want to be forced into it. And for good reason!

Now, to be fair, there is a very serious discussion regarding sin and surrender that every person needs to have. Jesus invites us to come to Him just as we are. But we cannot stay that way. That is the vision behind the second phase of our mission statement—living like Jesus. But once we become Christians, once we surrender to Him and begin to follow His lead, once we launch out into leadership of our own, it’s a whole new ball game.

God made me unique. And He did it on purpose! He only wants one of me running around His creation. There has never been nor will there ever be a human being exactly like me. And the same is true of you. God deliberately made us with our own talents, abilities and skill sets. He doesn’t want us forced into something we’re not any more than we do. Thankfully, though, that’s not at all what unity is about.

Unity is about working together. It’s figuring out how our uniqueness—our own particular quirks and idiosyncrasies—can complement, bless and function within the overall Body of Christ. The Apostle Paul’s metaphor here is brilliant! We each only have one body, but that unified body is made up of different parts. Those parts each have unique characteristics and strengths that we are quite foolish to ignore. Have you ever tried to open a jar with your feet instead of your hands? Not easy. Ever try to eat lunch through your ears instead of your mouth? Not fun, nor satisfying…and really messy. We intuitively recognize that our different body parts do different things. And they have to work together in unity to accomplish even the slightest task like opening the closet door. Why, then, is it so hard for us to comprehend and appreciate unity in the Body of Christ?

To experience unity is to experience teamwork. We play off of and rely upon each other’s different abilities, but the goal is not a great individual stat sheet, but to win the game. To flow in unity is to flow in harmony. We each sing different notes and maybe even melodies, but can join those together to form one beautiful song. To know unity is to know motivation. Nothing pushes and drives us like seeing those close to us excel and thrive. To discover unity is to discover one’s spiritual gifts. It’s those God-given, in-born, supernatural talents that really set us apart as unique and cause us to be so valuable to the rest of the Body.

Unity is a very high standard to reach for, but Holy Seed Community Church is reaching anyway. We want to be known as a church that works together, with other churches, with government, etc. We don’t claim to be the experts on everything and never will. Nobody is great at everything, but everyone is great at something.

creativity

2008-10-28T10:32:00.000-07:00

Imagine what could and should be.

Humankind is enormously creative. Just think about the progression of history and our past accomplishments. Consider all the things that used to be “impossible.” The invention of electricity, America’s interstate highway system, space travel and even possible habitation, the internet and its millions of uses…all these things testify to the creative power of human beings. It makes me wonder what the future holds. But most of us don’t stop to consider why or how we got to be so creative.

God is more that just enormously creative. He is infinitely creative! He’s creative to the infinite power!! No one could top Him!! In fact, when you think about God’s history and past accomplishments, ours look silly. Here are just a few. There are 350,000 different types of beetles. I could have named maybe two, but God created them all. Every year NASA discovers new stars and even entire galaxies that have always been there since the dawn of creation. My physical body has the unique ability to fight off infection, stretch and grow with age and/or diet, allow me to see, hear, feel and experience the world around me and even love and care for my family. Now that is creativity at its best.

Years ago I spent some time looking through the gospels to see how Jesus healed people. The result was nothing less that amazing…and hilarious. He was so fantastically creative! Jesus seems to revel in the variety of ways a person can be healed! Sometimes He would touch the person. Sometimes He just spoke. Once a lady was healed simply by touching one of the tassels from His robe. Once Jesus rubbed spit-mud in a blind man’s eyes and made him wash it off before he was healed. (That’s one of my favorites, by the way.)

Follow the logic here. Our Creator is creative and He created us in His image, therefore, we are also creative. But what does creativity look like? How do we follow Jesus in creative ways? How do we lead the world through creative methods? Well, there are literally hundreds of thousands of answers to that question. It could look as simple as a cup of cold water for a thirsty child. Or it could look as dramatic as a reformed national government.

To be creative means to be Spirit-led. God is the ultimate creative One. We just follow His lead. Creativity is risky. It inspires others. It fuels our imagination. To be creative is to think and work “outside the box,” to be resourceful, to be visionary. And it fleshes itself out everyday in a thousand human outlets. The real question is this: what does your Godly leadership look like? How do you exert your influence for the name, glory and renown of Jesus Christ?

Holy Seed Community Church has made a concentrated effort to look, act and be different. We want to be as creative as our Creator. We love to sit back and dream and discuss and brainstorm ways in which we can help transform our families, churches, communities and nation. And once you get a taste of creativity, it’s addictive. You love it! Try this: take ten minutes and a blank piece of paper and just imagine what could and should be.

perspective

2008-10-21T10:32:00.000-07:00

Our little guy, Josiah, is his own person with his own perspectives. (That’s a pretty astute observation, huh!) His existence is the direct product of me and Carla, but that does not mean he is just like me and/or Carla. In fact, quite often what pleases Carla and I is completely devastating to Josiah. And the opposite is also true!

A few weeks ago Josiah was playing outside in his sand table. Now, he’s been told many, many, many times—MANY TIMES—not to take the sand out of the sand table. It does not belong in the nice, green grass! Well, you’ve already guess it, haven’t you. When we looked outside to check on precious little Josiah, he was not just dumping sand on the grass. No, no. He was joyfully and exuberantly flinging and spreading it everywhere! At least he was being fair, though…every blade got an allotment of sand. Josiah loved it! We did not. Then, when he got in trouble, he was crushed! We were not.

Poor little Josiah just couldn’t see things from his dad’s perspective. Our thoughts and ways are not his thoughts and ways. Hmmm. That sounds familiar. How often do I whine, complain and throw a holy fit because things don’t go my way? How often am I astounded, confused and frustrated because I couldn’t see things from my Dad’s perspective?

Sometimes things seem unpredictable, random or even cruel, but that’s only because we are limited, human beings. Quite frankly, we are horrible judges of our own circumstances. Especially in the moment, things might seem absolutely awful. But isn't it amazing how differently things look after a week, month, year or even a lifetime. Imagine how different it would look with the perspective of eternity!

One experience I often think about is the death of our firstborn, Isaac. He died at 19 weeks gestation and was still born. When I think about the experience of that ordeal, I thank God. I’m serious. I mean, we certainly didn’t want to go through that. We didn’t enjoy a single moment. But God was with us in a very special, powerful and gracious way. We learned and grew enormously through that pain. It wouldn’t have and couldn’t have come any other way. I’m very thankful for that.

As I look back on our first year of church planting, it seems very extreme. In our personal lives we experienced very high highs and very low lows. There didn’t seem to be much consistency. That’s pretty tough for two highly organized people! But that’s only my perspective from right now. I know I’ll see it differently as time passes.

Lately Carla and I have been trying really hard to have a more healthy and Godly perspective. Once again, we’ve been trying to let go. To allow the little things to be little. To not even allow the huge things to overwhelm and crush us. God has always been God. He will always be God. There is nothing that surprises or confuses Him. And we are His beloved kids. What could we possibly have to worry about?!

Of course, it doesn’t seem like that at the time. In the moment, from our human perspective, it seems awful. It looks terrifying and wrong. But we can’t see it all. We don’t have any idea what’s around the corner. We don’t have the foggiest clue of what else is happening around us. God sees it all and knows it all. His perspective is unlimited. Even our strict boundaries of time and space don’t apply to Him. That is amazing!

Even when I don’t see it, I’m okay. Even when I’m freaking out, I’ll trust. Even when I can’t believe, I’m going to believe. As the brilliant poet Steven Curtis Chapman sings:

God is God and I am not.

I can only see a part

of the picture He’s painting.

God is God and I am man.

So I’ll never understand it all.

For only God is God.

follow the leader

2008-10-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

Did you ever play as a kid? It was always both exciting and interesting for me. It starts out simple enough. One rather boring kid leads everyone else through the field and down the slide. Another athletic one decides to hop on one foot and do a summersault. Then there’s always the obnoxious smart aleck. He starts out with a brisk trot by the rabid dog whose leash is frayed and stretched to its limit. After a fly-by of the principal’s office and a head slap of the football team, you end up diving for quarters in the pond behind the school. Ohhhh…don’t ask.

Anyway, follow the leader is a fascinating kid’s game for many reasons. Not only can you dissect and examine why certain kids lead certain activities, but you each get to take a turn. You’re not just a follower and you’re not just a leader. Each kid gets to experience both. And that’s a great, real-life lesson to learn.

The reality is that very few people are born leaders. I believe that true leadership is a gift from God. Not everyone has it. In fact, most people don’t. Only a handful is born to be strong, natural leaders. Certain leadership principles can be taught and learned, but no amount of training will transform a natural follower into a natural leader. However, at certain points and in certain ways, we all lead.

There is a big difference between the gift of leadership and the role of a leader. Like the game, we take turns in our various roles. At home we fill certain ones: spouse, parent, friend, counselor, etc. At work our roles probably look very different: employer, employee, salesman, troubleshooter, etc. You get the idea. We all function in a variety of roles in a given day, week or month. And many of those roles are leadership.

Picture this. You’re standing in line at a gas station waiting to pay. From nowhere in particular, you’re struck with a thought. “There’s a guy standing behind me in line. I should pay for his gas.” WHAT?! Where in the world did that come from?! As you stand there arguing with yourself, you realize it might not have been your idea at all. What if God is speaking to you? What if He just issued a command? What if He, as the leader, just dove in the pond and invited you to follow? What do you do?

Dozens of things just like that happen on a daily basis. The question is: how often do we follow the leader? How often do we take some initiative of our own and lead those around us? Do we even recognize the influence we have been given? See, the thing is, even though we might fill a leadership role, we’re not really leading at all, are we. God is the only real leader. We’re always following Him. Where He goes, I follow. What He says, I repeat. Whatever he does, I copy.

From a human perspective, I might appear to be a leader, but really I’m a follower just like everyone else. I have just chosen to follow God instead of another man. And in doing so, I am leading those who look to me. I guess in a way I’m filling two roles at the same time. I’m leading other people, but I’m following the example of Jesus Christ. Wouldn’t it be cool if we could all do that? Boy, what a difference we could make in that role: followers of Christ; leaders of men.

stewardship

2008-10-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

It’s not about me.

The name Denethor might not mean much to you. If you’re a Lord of the Ring nerd like me, maybe. But if you’ve seen the movies and/or read the books, I’ll bet you remember the character. Denethor was the steward of Gondor, living in the city of Minas Tirith. And do you know why he is so memorable. Because he was horrible!

The line of kings had run out. No one was wearing the crown at Minas Tirith. But someone had to be in charge. Leadership is always necessary. So, in the absence of the king, Denethor was chosen to be the steward. It was his responsibility to see that the people of Gondor were taken care of. There was no strict job description. There was just one rule: rule well. Be a good steward. Unfortunately, he wasn’t. He only cared for himself. He tried to please himself, bring himself more power, influence and pleasure. He hated the thought that he wasn’t in complete control. Denethor believed it really was about him.

Stewardship really isn’t complicated. It’s a big word with various meanings. I suppose that makes it a bit intimidating and complex to some. But really it’s not. Like Denethor, we have been chosen. In the absence of the King, we have been given responsibilities. And there is no exhaustive list of “dos” and “don’ts”. It’s quite simple: rule well. Be a good steward. Well, are we?

See, it’s very important we realize that ultimately we don’t call the shots. In the long run, we’re not in charge. This is not about me. We are simply stewards of the Master. To view life any other way is extremely short sighted and naïve. Our talents, skills, gifts and abilities were given to us by the Master. Are we good stewards of them? Our money, investments, portfolios and credit cards? Gifts from the King. Even our family, health, time, attitudes—everything you can think of—it’s not ours at all. It all belongs to Him. We are stewards of that which is His. Are we doing well? Do you think He is pleased?

Let’s not be so negative, though. Denethor is an example of a very poor steward. He only thought of himself. He forgot the fact that there was a King out there waiting to settle accounts. Let’s focus on a very good steward. Let’s find someone to emulate. There are many, certainly, but the first one that comes to my mind is a tiny little woman we came to know as Mother Teresa.
A good steward is others-centered. Mother Teresa never thought of herself first, but others. She wasn’t thinking of her own comfort and pleasure when she opened up a home for the dying in Calcutta, India. A good steward is generous. Nothing really belonged to Mother Teresa. She freely and joyfully gave to anyone who had need. A good steward is also benevolent. Mother Teresa didn’t just give money or food or medicine. She gave herself. Her greatest gift was her own heart. A good steward is accountable. This amazing sister in Christ knew that she was doing the Master's work and would answer to Him some day. And, finally, a good steward is passionate. Our Master graciously allows us to follow our deepest passions. Clearly, Mother Teresa truly loved and cherished the poor, sick and dying. Even into her last days, they were the focus of her prayers, thoughts and actions.

My life isn’t actually mine at all. I am living as a steward of God almighty. Everything that I am and know and say and feel…it’s all for the Master. And this church will be the same. Holy Seed Community Church is a gathering of stewards. We all serve the same Lord and pursue the same destiny. Our entire existence is to bring glory, honor and praise to Jesus Christ. This is all about Him. It is not about me.

transparency

2008-09-30T16:54:00.000-07:00

Something may be personal, but never private.

I’ll bet you don’t like that statement. You probably don’t even agree with it at first. It goes against the grain of our human nature. See, we’re sinful, selfish people. And we like to think that we’re in control of our own lives. We think our issues are, well, ours. And we like to think that certain things are public and certain things are private. And if our private issues are ever addressed…if someone dares to poke around in “my” business…back up, Jack!

But God isn’t scared of our rage. And He isn’t intimidated by our threats. And (this may hurt a bit) He isn’t terribly concerned about our temporary happiness. See, this isn’t about you. And it’s not about me. This is all about Him. We exist for His glory, not our own. And the way we live is a reflection of who we serve. If we choose to serve a loving and kind God, we are loving and kind people. If we choose to serve our sinful and selfish egos, well…

If you would be honest with yourself (and God), you are pretty messed up. Even if you’re a follower of Jesus and have been for years, you are pretty messed up. Every one of us is dreadfully and chronically ill with sin. We try to stay away from it, but we can’t. We work hard and discipline our bodies to do the right things and think the right thoughts, but we fail. Over time we certainly do mature and grow and get better, but we never “arrive.” We never achieve sinlessness. So, the secret is this: stop pretending.

Transparency is all about being open, honest, simple and confessing. It means we stop acting like we have it all together. We cease the performances. We take off the masks. We allow the light of God to shine into and through our lives, driving away the dark prison of sin. It is intimately connected with our core value of authenticity, but with an important difference. Authenticity means knowing ourselves. Transparency means showing ourselves. It’s one thing to know our sin exists. It’s a whole different matter to willingly expose it.

And let’s not be naïve or foolish about it—not everyone needs to know everything. We would be complete morons to parade our deepest, darkest sins to the neighborhood. There is a time and a place for everything. But we all—each and ever one of us—need to find and use that time and place.

You know what I’ve never seen? A good secret. A healthy, helpful secret. We keep our secrets because we’re ashamed of them. We’re embarrassed and humiliated by some of the things we’ve said and done and become. And we think that if we can just keep them to ourselves, maybe they’ll go away. Maybe we’ll miraculously heal on our own. Maybe God will fix it all on His own. Of course, God will forgive us. He’s the only one capable of the forgiveness of sin. But we have some work to do also. If we really want healing, if we really want freedom, if we really want to live like Jesus, it requires a life of transparency.

Who do you know deeply enough to talk to about anything? No, I mean anything?! What person(s) in your life has permission to walk up to you and say, “What’s wrong with you? Something is not right.” Who loves you enough to be bold and honest, yet still loving and gracious? Holy Seed Community Church is that kind of place. It’s an environment of safety and trust that’s filled with flawed, sinful people. We expose our junk not to gloat or compare, but to share the journey and find true, lasting healing. We dare not try to hide our real selves because, well, in the long run it’s not possible anyway. Eventually you realize that something may be personal, but never private.

new season

2008-09-22T10:07:00.000-07:00

God spoke to us very clearly. It happened late Monday night, September 1st. Carla and I had already crawled into bed and turned out the lights. We thought it was time for sleep, but the Holy Spirit had other plans. It didn’t begin with any kind of excitement. Carla asked me a harmless, rather generic question. But, for a number of reasons, I began to unpack a lot of spiritual and emotional mess. I was able to articulate and verbalize some deep, inner feelings and thoughts that I had only vaguely sensed for an entire year. It was like a light came on in my spirit and I could finally recognize my surroundings. I told Carla (and God) about how difficult and trying the past year has been. I confessed my doubts, fears and struggles. Whew! I felt better after that. I closed my eyes very peacefully and assumed we could now get some rest. Wrong again. Carla sat up in bed. Now God had something to say.

September 1st marked the one year anniversary of our move from Tennessee to Washington. It had been exactly one year ago, to the night, that we experienced our own spiritual “D-Day.” God had already warned us about this experience. We knew what we were in for! More than two years ago He told us that, like Jeremiah, we would begin this new journey with uprooting and tearing down (1:10). Now, we assumed this was the uprooting and tearing down of the religious spirit and false assumptions of the people of Seattle. Right?! We were going to come sweeping in here, like wonderful little heroes, and, as always, fix it all. We were the blessed saints of the real faith that these poor heathens always needed. We simply had to uproot and tear down their ideas and give them the truth. Well, that wasn’t exactly it. We misinterpreted the message. Maybe that’s happening in some senses, but upon reflection it seems that the uprooting and tearing down was mostly about us.

Quite frankly, I am utterly astounded at how much of this experience has centered around us. Weren’t we coming here to minister to?! This wasn’t supposed to be about us! Yet, it has been. Over and over again God has uprooted our false assumptions, torn down our pride and our ideas and our plans. Carla and I have found ourselves, on many occasions, at the absolute end of our rope. It’s has been a brutal death match on so many levels: physically sick, emotionally lonely, spiritually confused and stuck. We have come to the end of a very difficult year as much more humble, contrite, broken and prayerful people. And we thank the Lord.

But that season is over. God told us. Through Carla, He spoke to both of us. The uprooting and tearing down has come to an end. Not that we’ll never experience it again. Not that we won’t see traces of it as one season naturally bleeds into the next. But, as a whole, it’s over. It’s time for a new mindset and a new perspective.

The next phase, according to Jeremiah 1:10, is to “destroy and overthrow.” We don’t know what that means exactly, but we do know it’s different. Thank God it’s different! For several weeks we have sensed it was time for a shift. We even made the monumental decision to meet more often and in the mornings instead of evenings. That was huge for us! Now, God has confirmed the hugeness of it all. That decision was in obedience to this new season, this new phase of the journey. And I have a feeling…my gut just tells me…year two is going to blow us all away! YES LORD!!!

authenticity

2008-09-15T18:06:00.000-07:00

What you see is what you get.

I am an active member of the most cynical generation that has ever walked the earth. Well, at least it seems that way. My peers and I have the astonishing ability to find something wrong with anything. We could spot the negative in a cloudless summer day. In fact, I was recently talking to a guy who was complaining about the heat of summer and the cold of winter…in the same sentence!

This might be a bit of a stretch, but it’s my attempt at being positive, okay. I want to find something good about my cynicism and negativity. If there’s anything that can be gained from such skepticism, it would be this: we crave that which is authentic. We have such a passionate disdain toward anything fake or untrustworthy, we will line up to see, touch and experience that which is real, dependable and accurate. Thus, Jesus shows up and transforms the way we live. Thus, the Church of Jesus has a powerful opportunity to truly influence society.

In today’s culture, there is very little you can immediately count on. How often do you find yourself meeting a new person or using a new product or seeing a new advertisement and intuitively trusting him or it or them? How often do you really think to yourself, “What you see is what you get.” Rarely, right? I know I’m not alone in this boat. Instead, we’re looking for what’s hidden, reading between the lines, waiting for the catch. My generation is desperately yearning for the authentic.

But how can we be authentic when we don’t know who we are? How can we be true to ourselves (and, therefore, others) unless we like and accept ourselves (and, therefore, others)? I have sadly observed that most people really don’t know themselves at all. And, what’s more, they’re petrified to find out! Do you know anyone like that? Have you met those people who are uncomfortable with deep conversation, quiet settings, worship experiences, their own skin? Maybe you are one of those people. What are we so afraid of?

At some point we all have to face our junk. Eventually our past catches up to us. And the key is to stop running. If we will only muster up the courage to turn and face our history, we will discover a miracle. For in the middle of that pain and suffering and mess, there is also grace and joy and peace. Jesus is there. God will meet us. We can find healing…if only we’re willing to endure the discomfort. We can find true life…if only we’re brave enough to be honest.

Children don’t seem to have a problem with authenticity, do they? They are brutally honest about how they’re feeling, what they want and who they are. You always know where you stand with a child. And Jesus seems to like that. In fact, He pushes us to be more like them (read Mark 10:13-16)! How different would your life be if you stopped playing the games? What a change it would make if we could take off the masks? Freedom! Satisfaction! Life! Real life!!!

I can’t stand the fake. It sickens me. So, I’ve dedicated myself to being authentic. That means I’m going to face up to my past—both victories and defeats. I’m going to be real, dependable and accurate as a human being. And we’re going to be that kind of church community too. Holy Seed Community Church is going to be an authentic gathering of believers. We will certainly make mistakes and most definitely don’t have all the answers. We’re just a rabble of misfits who are trying to live like Jesus. After all, what you see is what you get.

faithfulness

2008-09-08T21:16:00.000-07:00

It’s not about perfection, but persistence.

At first, that may sound a little patronizing. It might have the ring of a little league coach who’s trying to encourage that one kid who could not catch the fly ball. (That was me, by the way.) But I can assure you that the above statement is not patronizing in the least. In fact, it is an amazing word of grace that compensates for our uniquely human ability to completely destroy everything that’s good and right in the world. There. Is that better now?

Even if you don’t like the movies, you certainly know the story of Rocky. He is the stereotypical American hero. He’s the down-and-out, poor, average Joe who decides to change his whole destiny by becoming a boxer. Quite frankly, he isn’t very good. He is continually getting the snot beat out of him! But he has this one quality that makes all the difference. There is one personality trait that separates him from all the rest of the boxers. He will not stay down! No matter how hard you hit him and how many times he falls, Rocky is going to keep getting up and coming at you. He is tenacious, gritty, tough. Rocky knows all about faithfulness.

Rocky sure wasn’t perfect. I mean, it wouldn’t be a good movie if he was, right? But it’s not about perfection. It’s about persistence. I’m not perfect either. I hope this statement doesn’t shock you, but you are not perfect either. None of us are. I mean, life wouldn’t be very interesting or exciting if we were, right? But, thank God, He doesn’t expect us to be perfect. He didn’t create us perfect. He created us “good” (check the story in Genesis 1). None of us will ever reach perfection. Stop beating yourself up over that fact! Instead of being discouraged and feeling depressed, change your perspective. God doesn’t want you to walk through life without ever tripping up and falling down. Instead, He wants all of us to learn to get up, dust ourselves off, hopefully figure out what tripped us in the first place, and keep going.

Since faithfulness is so difficult to define and understand, we’ve found it helpful to throw in a couple synonyms. Words like “consistency” and “integrity” help us get a picture of what faithfulness might look like. A faithful person understands the weight of and is driven by his/her "responsibility." The last one, which is actually a phrase, is my favorite picture: “life of honor.” To me, that phrase conjures up images of Arthur and Lancelot. I see medieval knights fighting vicious dragons and Aragorn battling the evil Sauron. It seems that the men and women of these stories had a true sense of honor. They did the right thing because, well, it was right. It wasn’t about looking good or fitting in or being politically correct. That is faithfulness.

Taken literally, God is the only One truly faithful. He is the only One who can always be counted on. His is the only word that will never fail. And I want to be like Him. I want to follow that example. Holy Seed Community Church is a place of faithfulness. We’re going to model our lives after Jesus, the Son of God, the ultimate Faithful One. No, we’re not going to be perfect like Him. Yes, we are going to make mistakes unlike Him. But that’s okay. When we fall down, when we sin, when we mess up, we’re going to get up. Even if we fall 100 times, we will get back up 101 times. After all, it’s not about perfection, but persistence.

longing

2008-09-01T08:00:00.000-07:00

In my faith community, we are currently talking about the transition from loving like Jesus to living like Jesus. Those are the first two elements of our mission statement (love, live, lead). And as we make that move from love to live, I find myself thinking about my chronic dislike for church in general.

In my estimation, it seems that most church leaders (at least in my Pentecostal tradition) put their primary emphasis on living like Jesus. Now, that sounds great from the outside, right? But when you get into it, it’s a life of guilt, condemnation and struggle. Most of these messages lack the grace, mercy and love of Jesus. They come across sounding like, “God is mad at you for doing this and that and for not doing such and such! If you don’t turn your life around right now you’re headed to hell!”

Isn’t that what so many of us believers have always cringed from? Don’t you think that’s why so many unbelievers resist the Church? Instead of hugging their necks, we’re slapping their hands. Jesus never said or even implied that we have to live like Him before we are loved by Him. Life transformation is His job and it typically begins after we surrender to His grace and forgiveness and compassion—His love.

On the opposite extreme, however, is a very liberal group that claims to be followers of Jesus Christ, yet look nothing like Him. They don’t resemble even a hint of the holiness and righteousness that we see modeled in the Scriptures. They allow basically any behavior, dance around very serious issues of sin and practice “tolerance” in the most blatantly immoral sense of the word.

Isn’t there something more to the Christian life? Did Jesus really die just so I would have the freedom to live any way I please? This life of “mine” is not really mine at all. It’s not about me…or any human…or any group of humans, for that matter! We don’t exist to pursue the American dream. And bigger is not always better. The way we live is supposed to be modeled after the way Jesus lived. And we are supposed to reflect the life and way of God our Father, Creator of the heavens and the earth. (That includes you and me, by the way!)

I have two longings deep within that seem to be at odds with one another. They have been with me my entire life although I wasn’t able to articulate them until college or beyond. And from the countless conversations I’ve had with other disciples of Jesus, they seem to be universal. I think we all deeply and powerfully feel these two longings. And we really aren’t sure how to handle them or what to do about them.

The first is a longing to measure up. I want to matter. I want to have a purpose and a reason. I don’t want to feel insignificant and small. I don't want to feel like an accident. I want to know, deep down, instinctively, that I am vital to someone, somewhere. I want to be important and valuable…priceless even. Basically, I want to experience true love.

The second longing is for more. I want to grow and mature and get better. I intuitively know that there is a higher and better existence out there that I want, but can't quite reach. I don’t want to make the mistakes of yesterday or last year or even of my spiritual predecessors. I strive and try and push and work. Basically, I want to experience true life.

Don’t those two longings seem to contradict each other? It sounds like I want to be loved just for who I am. It shouldn’t matter what kind of life I live. I am loved, period. On the other hand, though, I want more than that. I want to grow out of my infancy and develop into the man I have always known I was created to be. But I usually fall short. Which leads to feelings of insignificance and emptiness. Which makes me want to quit trying. It’s a vicious cycle, huh.

I think Jesus addresses both of my deep, inner longings. I’m still figuring out how it all works together. But He seems to be loving me even though I don’t measure up. He even helps me grow and develop and move on. He also seems to be urging me away from the good and toward the best. He has a higher standard for me. It’s not that He will stop loving me if I stumble and fall…again. It’s just that He wants the best for me.

Maybe God Himself has those two longings. We are created in His image, after all. Maybe He wants us to love Him no matter what. And maybe He wants us to follow His lead even though it’s hard and we fail a lot. Maybe the tension between the two is not only good, but necessary. Like a rubber band, maybe the two longings hold us together. Maybe it makes the whole thing work. Maybe…

space

2008-08-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the church growth movement. I read and heard lots of church leaders talk about how God wants to increase the numerical size of our churches. Many of them said things like, “build the biggest building you can and God will fill the space.” There is some truth to that. It even worked for some churches. I believe the primary idea behind this philosophy is that God is waiting for us to make room. When we actively make room for Him to work and move, quite often He will do just that. Lately, though, I’ve been wondering about the space not in our churches, but in our lives.

It has been said that there is always more that can be done than should be done. Each of us has a unique calling upon our lives. Usually, though, that unique, specific calling is, at best, blurred or, at worst, erased by the “tyranny of the urgent.” What would happen if we all focused ourselves only on what we feel like God has called us to and said a kind but firm “no” to everything else? I find myself breathing very heavily after mulling over that question. What about all the stuff that doesn’t get done? Who’s going to make sure the details are covered? Do I really trust God? No, really?! Is all that other stuff my concern, my jurisdiction, my calling? Or have I just adopted it over time? What makes me think I have to worry about what people think? Why do I feel such intense pressure to please everyone else? How can I possibly expect to have peace and joy when I carry the responsibility for so much? Have I created any blank, empty space in my life for God to fill?

My first priority in life is to be a child of God and pursue relationship with Him. It’s been said so many times that I’m afraid it’s now a cliché. But that doesn’t make it less true. How much time do I give God on a daily basis? How much of my energy goes into that first and foremost relationship? In comparison, how much time do I spend reading emails or watching television in a day? How much of my energy goes into thinking about ministry for God instead of time with God? I don’t want to swing the pendulum over to the legalistic side of faith, but I do think it’s important to wrestle with these issues.

My second priority is to be a husband and father and pursue relationship with my family. I can say they are second only to God all I want, but do they feel that? Do they know it deep down? How does one juggle the importance of time with family alongside the numerous other opportunities that seem to come from God (i.e. friendships, work, hobbies, etc.)? What happens when those conflict? Who wins? How often?

I want to create space in my life. I want to have the freedom to spontaneously go for a drive or stop to watch the bug cross the parking lot with my little boy. I’m tired of feeling rushed and stressed. I’m tired of the pressure to perform. I want to find true rest and peace in the strong arms of God. If I intentionally create this kind of space, and then refuse to refill it with other stuff, I believe God will fill it with Himself. More of You, God, and less of me! It's all for You. It's all for You. I'm letting go. I'm letting go.

copy cat

2008-08-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

I have this picture of Josiah and me. It’s one of my favorites. We went to Picnic Point beach one day just to play. It’s a rocky beach, which he loves. I honestly think he could stand at the water’s edge and throw stones for hours if we let him. Well, on this day, Carla captured a wonderful moment.

See, Josiah has this thing about his dad, which I love. He wants to be just like me. He sees and follows just about everything I do. He’s a little copy cat. In a way it’s a really scary thing. I’m not all that good, you know. Just because I’m a pastor doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing in life. I mess up and am weak just like everyone else. What if Josiah sees and follows that example?! There are times that I’m terrified of him being a copy cat. But that’s my issue. Well, one of them at least. On this day at the beach it was beautiful and memorable.

That morning he even wanted to dress like daddy. I was wearing blue jeans, sneakers, and an orange t-shirt with a black jacket over it. So, guess what he needed to wear? Yup. Even down to the orange t-shirt. Precious. Then, when we got to the beach, he wanted dad to throw rocks with him. He is still pretty young at this point so I was helping him out a little. “Okay, hold the rock with this hand and then pull your arm all the way back…” I didn’t even know Carla was back there until she had taken several pictures.

There’s something special about this candid shot. It’s an amazing image of a little boy and his father. The boy is a copy cat. The son looks like his dad not only because of the family resemblance, but in his dress. But he’s also copying his action. They’re standing the same way. They’re holding the same thing. They’re facing the same direction. They have the same intent. The only difference (except for the size, of course) is the little glance. The boy is shooting a little glance over at his dad. He’s watching him. He’s copying him. He wants to know exactly what dad is doing. Why? Well, because he wants to do it too!

I love that picture because I’m the dad in it. But I also love it because I’m the son in it. In that image, I see me and Jesus. That’s how I see my Heavenly Father. I want to be just like Him in every possible way. It’s not enough to simply be where He is and do what He does. I want to look and feel and smell and sound like Him. As one of my favorite musical artists, Warren Barfield, sings, “I want to be mistaken for Jesus.”

The day is coming when Josiah won’t copy cat his dad anymore. (As former youth pastors, Carla and I are painfully aware of this teenage reality. We’re bracing ourselves for that day.) But hopefully he’ll keep one thing front and center. I pray he copies one thing to the letter. I hope and pray that he follows me as I follow Jesus. When it comes to our Father in heaven, I hope we all turn out to be phenomenal copy cats.

becoming

2008-08-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Have you ever read or heard something that just grabbed you? It’s almost as if you can’t get away from it. I ran across a discussion several months ago like that. It was in the blog of a very prominent professor, believe it or not, when he was asked some questions about homosexuality. He turned the dialogue into a more general discussion of sin as a whole. Every single one of us, he said, is invited by Jesus to come to God. And we’re invited to come exactly as we are. We do not need to fix ourselves up first (as if we could even if we wanted to). However, none of us are invited to stay exactly as we are. God loves us too much to leave us in our sin.

Come as you are, but don’t stay that way.

Wow. Even now the phrase feels loaded. It has such simplicity and also such depth. I just can’t get away from it.

Last night our community of faith talked about this idea, this phrase. It can be very difficult to openly confront. Let’s be honest: none of us like to told what to do, or where to go, or how to think. Especially here on the West Coast, we are extremely independent. Our great grandparents journeyed along the Oregon Trail in wagons because they were tough, strong-willed individuals. And that mentality has been passed down as a sort of cultural ethos. It’s who we are. “I don’t need anyone or anything. I can make it on my own!”

But that’s not the message of Scripture. And I think if we’re honest with ourselves, that philosophy of life carries some serious problems. See, there comes a point when we realize we need other people. Maybe it takes a tragic car accident or horrifying doctor’s report to prove it. But eventually you realize you can’t do this thing on your own. And we don’t have to “be our own boss” long to recognize that we don’t make the greatest of decisions all the time. Maybe it takes mistaking a partner’s intentions or a temporary lapse in judgment to finally get it. But it is going to happen. We’re not very good at being in control. And actually, that’s kinda the point!

You look like Jesus. Did you know that? The very first book of the Bible, Genesis, affirms that we were each created in the image of God. We look like Him! We are to be His ambassadors and representatives on earth. The problem is, the image looks fuzzy on most of us. Sin has clouded that beautiful picture so that it’s hardly even recognizable in most Christians. To a very large degree, that’s the purpose of discipleship. In our journey with Jesus, we are becoming more and more like Him. Every day we are transformed into a truer image of who we were originally created to be. We’re not there yet, but we’re on our way.

The homosexual is not the only one who needs to change. In fact, let’s just give that a break for awhile. Yes, I believe it’s a sin. But why do we have to hammer on it? Pastors need to change too, you know. How many preachers are morbidly obese? Why don’t we talk about the sin of gluttony? How many of us struggle with our pride on a daily basis? Can we address the destructive issues of gossip, pornography and workaholics? We all need to allow Jesus to transform our lives and help us become who we need and want to be. It doesn’t matter if we work for Starbucks or Disney or Walmart. We come to Jesus exactly the way we are…but we don’t stay that way.

I am in the process of becoming. So are you. Some of us are fighting that process more than others, though. Maybe today we can relax a bit more. Maybe we can trust God. He created us after all. Maybe He knows what He’s doing.

growin' up

2008-08-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

I feel strangely proud of myself today. That’s not the only emotion coursing through me, to be sure. But it is one of them. And I think that’s a good thing.

We had to cancel our gathering last night. Josiah has been feeling sick for the past several days. We thought he was over it until about 3:00 yesterday afternoon. I’ll try not to give too many gory details, but did you ever see The Exorcist? Remember the scene where vomit comes erupting out of seemingly every orifice of that child?! Okay, maybe it wasn’t quite that bad, but we definitely felt like we couldn’t have a group of people come into our home when we have an obviously sick toddler. Well, I just felt terrible about having to cancel.

We already had to miss 2 weeks in a row! Yesterday made it 3 in a row! Most pastors will tell you that’s deadly to a congregation. But what else could we do?! So, we put Josiah back to bed (he had been napping until “the incident”) and got on the phones. I called all those we knew were coming and broke the news. As I talked to them I felt so disappointed, but they were very gracious. Especially those who have their own children. They understood completely.

That’s when the proud-of-myself part happened. I did not break down into a pitiful heap and whine! (Unfortunately that’s been known to happen in the past when I don’t get my way.) I moved on! We cleared away all the stuff that was going to be used that night and I began to prepare some dinner while Carla had the joy of cleaning all the nasty clothes. Believe it or not, we enjoyed a great meal together full of smiles and laughter. After dinner I even got to play “tennis ball” with Josiah and Carla for about a half hour before we put him to bed a few minutes early.

I guess the bottom line is this: I feel like I’m growin’ up. Considering the circumstances, I think I handled myself pretty well. Compared to my past history of freak outs, this was great. For years I have longed to have a deep, inner sense of peace and joy no matter what the circumstances. This feels like a taste of that.

For all you Meyers Briggs folk out there, I’m an INTJ (Introverted, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging)…heavy on the J. I am not the kind of person that typically handles surprises and disappointment and last-minute changes very well. I’m a planner—an organizer. I like all my ducks to be in a row. Don’t mess with my ducks, man! But God has been. He has intentionally and consistently scattered my ducks with His shotgun blasts. And this past year or so has been a good hunting season for Him.

But maybe I’m finally growin’ up. Maybe I’m finally getting it. Maybe I’m finally learning to trust in God, depend on God and rest in God. I’m usually really hard on myself (and others, for that matter), but last night and this morning feels different…in a very good way. I’m still disappointed we couldn’t meet. I’m a little anxious about next week. But I’m also excited. My Father is pleased with me. While that’s always true, I’m not usually pleased with myself. This morning I am. I’m patting myself on the back today. It feels good.

the heavenly screenwriter

2008-07-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

I sure would have scripted it differently. From my vantage point, He made an awful lot of poor decisions. But hey, I’m just the copy boy. He is the Screenwriter.

God has made some interesting choices with my life. I might have guessed that I would go to college in Tennessee, but never thought I would spend 13 years in the Bible Belt. My parents may have told you I would be a minister some day, but not a church planter in Greater Seattle. I always assumed I would get married some day, but certainly not to a southern belle from North Carolina. What happened along the way? How did we get here?

God doesn’t work through a committee and typically doesn’t take suggestions. (Although there are a couple very interesting stories to serve as exceptions. Check out the story of Hezekiah in 2 Kings 20. Whoa.) There have been many times I tried to gently nudge God in the “right” (aka my) direction. It never works. For some reason He just doesn’t seem convinced that I know what I’m talking about.

This past weekend the family and I were guests at another church's Missions Festival. They were celebrating, honoring and reaffirming their commitments to the missionaries they support. We are blessed enough to be counted among them. All weekend, as I spoke to the people, and thought about the situation I found myself in, I couldn't help but feel awestruck. I never would have imagined this life course. I'm not even sure how we got here. But here we are. And I'm so grateful.

Do you remember the old Garth Brooks song “Unanswered Prayers?” The final line of the chorus in that great song says “some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” Man, am I ever glad God doesn’t listen to me! I asked for so many foolish things and would have ended up in all the wrong places with all the wrong people. If I had been given the opportunity to write the script for my own life it would have been a train wreck. Thankfully God loves me enough to not give me my own way. Instead, as the heavenly Screenwriter, He does what He knows is best and allows me to catch up when I can. Thank you, Lord!

united

2008-07-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

When I finished writing my last entry (voices) I immediately thought about unity. Unfortunately, I think it will be very easy to misunderstand the point. If we all hear from God, if we all get our orders from the Commander-In-Chief, we’re not going to be in competition, but in communion.

When there is one Commander-In-Chief with one plan giving the orders, everything fits together. Of course, this is messy when it gets fleshed out with very fallible, weak humans. What about the people who think they’re hearing from God when, in fact, they’re deceiving themselves? Quite frankly, some people just want what they want. What about the people who are blatantly lying and know they’re lying? To put it bluntly, some people are just mean. Everything does not fit together nice and neat. So how do we explain that?

Honestly, I'm sure. I don’t have all the answers. I have discovered, however, that God is not nice and neat either. I cannot explain Him and certainly don’t understand Him. I think that’s a huge part of the problem with Christianity. Most think our faith should be studied and understood and explained like some kind of mechanical structure. We think if we can just work hard and/or long enough, we’ll understand God the way we understand how an engine works or what quantum physics explains or what that black wisp of death is on Lost.

But God is a being—a living organism that we are in relationship with. I have accepted the fact that I will never fully understand my wife. After 12 years together I get surprised and confused...all the time. And she’s a human, I think. Just kidding! (Actually, I'm far more confusing that she most of the time.) The point is that we husbands cannot hope to be fully in tune with our wives. We run on different operating systems. (I'm still not sure, though, if she's the Mac and I'm the PC or...) But we work hard to listen and communicate anyway. We are dedicated to each other for the long haul regardless. How much more so is that true with the immortal, all-powerful God?!

Our relationship with Him is infinitely complex, yet He is there and we are there. He has invited us not only to relate to Him, but to truly relate to others in unity. We don’t have to be satisfied with the surface-level junk we’ve become so accustomed to. We can have intimacy with the God of the universe and His creation. We can learn to love each other and live in harmony even though we often disagree. We can learn how to fight honorably and work through our issues.

God has very often spoken to me through other humans. I look for and expect that to happen. But, on the other hand, my fellow humans have also often led me in the complete opposite direction. I suppose the real issue is discernment. If we are really God’s sheep, we really do hear His voice. Sometimes He speaks to us through others, sometimes through nature, sometimes through a movie, music, or even a random email forward. But quite often I find that He is dying to personally whisper right in my ear if only I will take the time and energy to seek Him and listen attentively.

The Body of Christ is beautiful beyond comparison. I’m so thankful to be one part. I pray often that we will all strive to be the best part we can. We need each other desperately. And we need to all obey what the Head tells us.

voices

2008-07-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

I want to be clear from the start: we were created to live in community. An individual cannot and should not attempt to live in isolation. We were wired to exist together and need to seek opportunities to connect and be intimate with at least a few other people on a regular basis. However, everybody has their own opinion…

One of the miracles of being a Christian is our inner ability to tune into the Holy Spirit. It is the often “still small voice” that speaks and guides us, comforts and chastises us. It is the supernatural capacity to know what steps to take and when. It’s not that God makes us walk down this path or talk to that person, but we, as Christians, can know…just know…that God is there. The problem is that everybody thinks they’re hearing from God. And everybody has their own ideas of what’s right and what’s wrong. And all these other voices can very quickly and very easily drown out the voice. Hence, the confusion.

I have always been (and always will be) a believer in getting wise council. But who is wise? Who can we trust? Who is mature enough to discern the voice of the Spirit and not just give you their own opinion? Who is humble enough to say “I just don’t know” or “you need to ask someone else?” Is there a way to be sure that a certain person or persons is capable of truly hearing from the heart of both God and a person at the same time? And even if they do, do they know how to combine those two messages into something that makes sense or is helpful to the one seeking?

Carla and I have been given a lot of council and advice in the past year. Some of it has been wonderful. It typically comes from very Godly people we really trust who completely have the right motives. Some of it has been horrible. It typically comes from very superficial Christians we don’t really know who probably have their own motives. And then, I would say the majority of this council and advice comes from everyone else. We may not feel strongly one way or the other about their character. Their opinions aren’t necessarily great or awful. It just falls into the huge chasm of “well, thank you for saying that. God bless you.” But the more I think about it, the more I believe I really only have one voice to heed—the voice.

Every church plant is different. For that matter, every person is different, every culture is different and every circumstance is different. I believe in guiding principles, but I would argue strongly that each situation demands its own judgment. That’s what we call being “situational.” And once again we’re back to the wondrous benefit of the Holy Spirit with us all day every day. God can literally guide every step we take. We can literally have the mind of Christ as we make those daily decisions. So, the question becomes, are we hearing His voice? Is there enough space and quiet in our lives to listen to what’s inside? Are we courageous enough to get away and/or even put a stop to some of those competing voices?

If a person truly hears from God on another’s behalf it probably won’t feel like a brand new idea or suggestion, but a confirmation of what’s already going on inside. The wisest and best counselors draw out what’s already inside. They recognize that God is already doing something and work to discover the truth that already exists in that particular person and/or circumstance.

Do you know what happens when you type in “Christian” to the search on Amazon.com? You get 605,748 hits for books. You get 322,243 hits for mp3 downloads. Then there are the tens of thousands of CDs, DVDs, t-shirts, magazine subscriptions and pieces of jewelry. There is even a section called “Everything Else” with 2,456 items! How can there possibly be so many voices?! Are we naïve enough to think they’re all saying the same things?! Can they all be right?! These voices aren’t inherently bad. But let’s not assume that makes them inherently good either.

I’ve had to put a stop to quite a few voices lately. I’ve had to remind myself that I, Dustin, am a Christian. The Spirit of God abides within me, personally. I know His voice. I don’t have to get a “word” from a Praise the Lord marathon or church podcast. I get my marching orders from The Top. I hear His voice. And when it gets hard to hear I'm learning to take a few important steps. I'm learning to retreat to quiet and peaceful places. I’m learning to make time in the morning and take breaks throughout the day. I’m learning to lovingly say things like, “I’ll spend some time in prayer about that, but I’m not going to make a decision right now.” I’ve even had enough guts to say “No. It sounds like a fine idea, but it’s not for me.” What a powerful little two-letter word! One gains a lot of freedom when he/she learns to harness the power of “no.”

So many voices speaking. So few worth listening to.

do something

2008-07-07T08:00:00.000-07:00

We’ve all the heard the old expression, “don’t just sit there, do something!” It’s usually screamed during a part in the movie where some catastrophe just occurred. Without a doubt, some people are working their tails off to fix the problem and some are just sitting around watching. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s terrifying.

One of my supervisors in seminary used to reverse that phrase. He used to tell us (and me, in particular) “don’t just do something, sit there.” An interesting idea, huh. Can you do that? I find it extraordinarily difficult. How easy or hard is it for you to sit in a room alone…with no music on and no phone in hand…with no television filling the void and no task to complete. I can take it for about 15 minutes, then I’m up doing again. It truly is difficult for me to stop doing and just be. And yet that is exactly what God has called me to.

I have a little sticky note in my office right in front of my face. I see it all the time. In fact, I see it so often I have to rewrite the note every now and then so I don’t take it for granted and/or ignore it. “Just BE.” That’s what it says. I need constant reminding of that. As I’ve heard said often times, God didn’t create human doings, but human beings. Why do we have such a preoccupation with doing? Why do we find it so hard to relinquish control and relax? Why are we all familiar and even comfortable with ideas such as a 50 plus hour work week, working lunches and even working vacations?!

Even in junior high I can vividly remember being taught about time management. The instructor was helping us to understand that time is a precious commodity. That there isn’t enough hours in a day to get things done. Is that true? Did God mess up when He started this planet spinning in it’s particular orbit? Was He supposed to give us 25 or 30 hours in a day and just forgot?

I love Seinfeld! If you cannot agree that it's one of the greatest television shows of all time...I will pray for you. Anyway, I was watching some behind-the-scenes stuff the other day and they were all talking about Jerry’s commitment to the show. He was on set 6 or even 7 days a week shooting and then spent his evenings there writing the next episodes. If you needed Jerry on a weekend, one NBC executive said, call the studio. His agent even said something like, “if anyone could figure out how to add more hours to a day, it was Jerry.” And they all spoke of this in glowing terms—as if Jerry were a hero for it. As if we all should strive to be that way. Oh, by the way, at the time he had no family, girlfriend or other responsibilities. The show, quite literally, was his life. That show is hilarious. But that fact is sad.

In her book Breathe, Kerrie Wyatt Kent makes this statement: “The pace of our lives has profound implications upon the depth of our lives.” She is absolutely right. I’m tired of doing so much. I want to just be. I crave a deep relationship with God, deep relationships with my family and deep relationships with friends. I hate the feeling of being shallow. I’m sick of playing the game and pretending that everything is great. I don't see any secret to this way of life. It's actually quite simple, but that doesn't make it easy. Put plainly, I must boldly refuse the constant, hectic pace. We battle against what Steven Covey calls "the tyranny of the urgent." But what does that look like? How exactly do I do that?

Gordon McDonald once said that our most unguarded strength is our greatest weakness. I’m a gifted leader. I’m a gifted pastor/teacher. I’m a gifted administrator. Those are my God-given strengths. If I allow them, however, they will drive me to burnout. One is never done leading or teaching or administrating. I can always find more to do. If I do not guard those gifts/strengths they will ruin me. If I don’t pace myself I will end up hating ministry. If I don’t stop doing and just sit there now and then I just may forget what this whole thing is about.

Don't just do something, sit there. Stop. Rest. Be.

intentionally natural

2008-06-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

There’s a big difference between the intentional and the accidental. Intentionality speaks of purpose, design and even love. It means there is something bigger at work. And if that “something bigger” is behind it all, there’s a reason for it. Nothing is done haphazardly or by coincidence.

That is the definition, however, of the accidental. Something that happens by accident is random. It’s an unplanned, chance occurrence. The word usually implies a mistake, problem or even tragedy (i.e. car accident). In business, no company survives by simply allowing its customers to browse through their random, by-chance products.

I desperately want this church to be different. I want to participate in an intentional community. We serve a God of order and structure. He is the Grand Author, Designer and Sustainer. And this church will be intentional. We will love God and each other. We will live the way He says. We will lead the world closer to Him.

There is also a big difference between the natural and the unnatural. The natural is obvious to all of us. We immediately think of trees and grass; mountains and valleys; sunrises, sunsets and flocks of geese. Just about every human alive will testify to the wonder and beauty of nature. We try to box it in and contain it, but ultimately it is beyond us. It is unpredictable, untamable and surrounds us. We don’t command the natural, but simply live among it and try to enjoy it.

The unnatural is just the opposite. It is that which we command and manipulate. It is the manufactured world in which we all live and, quite frankly, take pleasure in. There is a certain beauty in a Porsche 911 or the new iPhone. I can certainly appreciate the blessings of a transcontinental airplane flight or my laptop. But when compared to the beauty of the Rocky Mountains, that Porsche turns to dust. When contrasted with the oxygen I breathe in and out every second, can I really consider my laptop a blessing?

I desperately want this church to be different. I want to participate in a natural community. I don’t want to force or fabricate our love, lifestyle or leadership. I want to plant some seeds and watch them grow in completely unexpected and beautiful ways. I want it to be beyond my scope and control. I want it to inspire awe and wonder simply because it exists.

Is it possible, then, to be both intentional and natural? Perhaps it’s like a farmer’s field. It’s very intentional in the sense that he plants the seeds, cares for the soil, prunes the crops and then harvests the fruit. But it’s also very natural in the sense that he cannot force those seeds to produce. All he can really do is put them in the right place at the right time and take care of them.

The apostle Paul uses this analogy beautifully. He says that one servant of God might plant a seed and another servant might water. But “it’s not the one who plants or the one who waters who is at the center of this process, but God, who makes things grow.” (We should all read and reread the context of 1 Corinthians 3:5-9 in an understandable version like The Message Bible.)
God, help us to be more like You. You are both intentional and natural. Everything You touch, all that You are, is beautiful and glorious. Help us to be intentionally natural!

worship

2008-06-23T16:14:00.001-07:00

At its core, everything is spiritual.

Most people don’t believe this. That’s obvious by simple observation. Even if they said they did with their mouths, they would say something else with their lives. Even for Christians who have heard all about worship, this is a hard truth to flesh out on a daily basis. Take a few moments to ponder the following statements.

The way we behave on the job is an act of worship.

The grades we earn in school are an act of worship.

The way we treat our spouse is an act of worship.

The way we raise our children is an act of worship.

The way we handle our finances is an act of worship.

Historically we have tended to categorize worship as the “spiritual” part of our lives…as if some things were of God and others were not. We have always thought of going to church as a part of worship. But vacation days at work—that’s my business, not God’s. That’s not spiritual. It’s personal. Even when we’re in church we like to sub-categorize. Singing songs is certainly a worshipful experience. But listening to the announcements—that’s a perfect time to text friends and make lunch plans.

The reality is that all of life is spiritual. Every single aspect of our existence is built upon and sustained by God. I mean, even the food we eat is a reflection, isn’t it? If we don’t give a rip about the body God’s given us, we’ll eat and drink pretty much anything and everything. Who cares how it affects us, right? But, if we view our bodies through the lens of worship, it becomes something completely different. We’ll eat better because our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). We might even recognize the importance of exercise and regular periods of rest.

Women can certainly understand the importance of dressing in a way that brings glory to God instead of their own bodies. Men can readily comprehend the magnitude of leading their families closer to Jesus instead of the American dream. Children quickly comprehend how wonderful it is to give generously instead of hording it all to themselves. If you and I are followers of Jesus Christ, we have to come to this understanding as well. We have to acknowledge the fact that every thought, word and action points beyond ourselves. We are the representatives of Jesus Christ. So the real question is this: Does my life reflect my God? Do I look and act and smell and feel like Jesus? What kind of worship am I offering Him?

One ancient follower of Jesus put it this way. “I urge you, brothers [and sisters], in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship” (Romans 12:1). Our very body, our entire being, is offered to God as a sacrifice. This at-the-office or at-home or in-the-coffee-shop life of ours is what God wants. It’s not about who you are or what you do at some kind of church gathering. It’s who you are and what you do when no one else is around. A great translation of this passage in The Message Bible puts it very simply. “Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for Him.”

Worship is a huge, all-encompassing idea. It’s a little scary and a lot humbling to think about our huge God creating and caring for us. How can we possibly offer Him anything but a life of complete worship?! Holy Seed Community Church is a place of worship. That is how we have started and that is how we will continue. We will not conform to the pattern of this sinful, selfish, immature world, but will seek after and follow our God. We will fix our attention on Him and He will, in turn, transform us from the inside out. This life is not about us. It never was. This is about Jesus and bringing Him glory. After all, at its core, everything is spiritual.

unpredictable

2008-06-16T08:00:00.000-07:00

“The only thing predictable about God is His unpredictability.” One of my beloved seminary professors and mentors used to say that a lot. Dr. Rickie Moore’s words have shown themselves true in my life over and over again.

God will not be boxed in. He refuses to play by the rules! Well, my rules, at least. Just when I think I’ve figured Him out, I am undone. Once again I feel like an ant in His presence and realize how vast the difference between HE and i.

This past week was anything but predictable. On Monday night we learned of the tragic death of one of our former students. Tyler Carver was a kind, respectful, athletic young man. His 16 years were not nearly enough. The shocking news took our breath away. I cannot imagine burying my own child. Our hearts are broken and grieved for his family.

On Wednesday morning our dear friends, Matt and Angela, had another little baby girl. We went to the hospital to see Shayden Lee and check on her mom, dad and sister, Joslyn. The whole family is doing great and is thrilled to add another member. Our hearts swelled with excitement and celebration with them.

Then, on Thursday, another new life was born. This time the miracle comes to some of our oldest and closest friends, Josh and Sara Turner. They’re leading a thriving youth ministry in Atlanta and are about to have their lives turned on its ear by the precious little Aletheia Michal. We’re sad we can’t be with them, but so pumped that they finally have this amazing child to bring home.

How do we reconcile these wildly varied emotions? It’s almost overwhelming just to experience them, but to explain them is beyond me. We could have never predicted a week like this. Even if we could, I’m not sure we would have chosen to. God never seems to do things the way I, in my infinite wisdom (cough, cough), think they should be done. And He rarely seems to bend His will to my prayers and pleas, either. I find that I’m usually the one who bends.

Nor does this God that we serve succumb to any formula. Just because I do A, B and C, does not necessarily mean God will do D, E and F. He seems to love and relish doing the unexpected, mysterious and even dangerous. He is not some lifeless statue, but is a living being. Like any other relationship, we exist in a dynamic give-and-take with Him! Most of the time it’s sweet and pleasant and very satisfying. Other times it’s frustrating and confusing and even annoying. But all the time it’s exciting and unknown and…unpredictable.

I don’t even understand my wife all the time! How can I possibly expect to understand the Living God?! I can’t. I won’t. But the journey sure has been fun, amazing, life-giving, life-transforming, miraculous. Though unpredictable, I wouldn’t trade this in for the whole world!

lost control

2008-06-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

I think I’ve lost control of my life. Good. Great! Finally!!! I was never supposed to be in control to begin with. I’ve driven in the median too often and slammed into too many trees anyway. I don’t want to be in control.

The bad news about this, though, is that I continually fight to regain the control I honestly don’t want. I always think I know best or can fix the situation or have a better idea. I seem to conveniently forget that God created all and orchestrates all.

I spent this past weekend at a men’s retreat. I was privileged just to be there with them, but was also asked to be their speaker. It has a high honor and I was a little scared of it all. I felt like I heard from God, however, about what to say. I came with three messages ready from the Lord. But then, like always, the situation changed. The circumstances were altered. I faced some unexpected and unknown barriers. Enter Dustin, the Great Fixer of All. I made some inquiries and did my best to level the playing field once again. I worked my magic to delight and surprise all, and I failed. My attempts didn’t work out. I was forced, coerced and required to do things God’s way. And wouldn’t you know it…everything worked out fantastic.

The messages were very well received. The men seemed genuinely blessed and touched by God. The coordinator was very complimentary and I was thrilled. But, better than everything else, I sensed the Divine nod. I knew that God was pleased with my surrender. Even though I fought Him again and released very reluctantly, He smiled upon me. I lost control. And it was wonderful.

I want to lose control again today. I want that to be a hallmark of my life every day. I want to discipline myself to be more flexible. Does that make any sense? I want to work harder at not working so hard. Is that even possible? I don’t really know how this all fits together yet, but it sure is exciting! Thank you, Lord, for prying the control out of my hands over and over and over again! You’re so much better at life than I am!

trust

2008-06-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

A refuge from the storm does exist.

Wouldn’t it be great if that statement were true? Wouldn’t you love to have some place and/or some people where you really believed that? It’s become so rare that most of us don’t believe it even exists anymore. It’s like an urban legend. But what if it did exist? What if there actually was a place and a people that actually loved you exactly the way you were. Where you could be open and honest about all your victories and all your wounds and, yet, still accepted? Where you could vent, air your dirty laundry, weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice? Is it possible?

It certainly wouldn’t be easy. Then again, nothing worthwhile ever is, is it? It would be extremely hard to create that kind of environment. Then, once you experienced it, it would be even harder to maintain it. Trust is fragile. Trust is laboriously gained and easily broken. Trust is hard to give and, often, even harder to receive. But, just imagine with me for a moment, what if it existed? As hard as it is to create and nurture, what if you found an environment like that? How would it make you feel? What would you do with it? How would you treat those people? What would you think of that place? What would trust mean to you?

An atmosphere of genuine trust is, quite literally, a miracle from God. We humans are not naturally trusting. Have you ever attempted to take a toy away from a two year old? It doesn’t matter if you have an even better toy in the other hand, he/she does not understand and does not trust. It simply isn’t part of our natural make-up. We’re the same way with God too, aren’t we? He always knows best and does best, but we still don’t trust. He could have the most wonderful gift in the other hand or behind His back or on its way, but that doesn’t matter to us. At the slightest whiff of discomfort or pain, we flip out. Like most two year olds, we slump to the floor and begin to roll around wailing and lamenting our horrible misfortune.

But for those who have eyes to see it and ears to hear it, a place of trust, that precious refuge from the storm of life, does exist. It probably won’t be easy to find and it certainly won’t be easy to live consistently. But it’s worth all of that. There will be times that we want to draw back, pull away, run back to our safe, familiar, hidden shell. But it’s worth all of that. It will take a great deal of risk, quite a few uncomfortable moments and even some betrayal and pain. But it’s worth all of that.

We describe a place of trust as a place of safety. It’s an environment where you can take off the mask(s) and just be you. It’s a place of reliability. It’s an atmosphere in which you can count on the people to be there, to listen, to offer feedback at times and, and other times, to keep their opinions to themselves. It’s a place that practices confidentiality. You can’t open up to just anyone at any time. But in this place and with these people, it’s okay. And it won’t get back to…whoever.

Trust. It’s a beautiful concept. It’s a brutally hard reality. Holy Seed Community Church is working really diligently to create and nurture trust. We desperately want to experience a place of safety, reliability and confidentiality. Life is so hard. It beats us down in so many ways at so many times. Each of us desperately yearns for a place of trust. And a refuge from the storm does exist!

will of GOD

2008-05-27T10:34:00.000-07:00

The will of God seems to be quite a mystery for most believers. Maybe it’s because I spent so many years in youth ministry, but that seems to be a central question for most Christians. “What is God’s will for my life?” I’m not sure that’s the right question, though.

I hearken back again to our communal nature. Human beings were not created to function independent of each other, but with and for one another. Most of the promises, commands and principles of Scripture only work within a community of faith. Only within a community of faith, then, do we discover the will of God.

God’s will has already been disclosed to God’s people! We’re told to love God with all our hearts, minds and souls. We’re told to love others as ourselves. We’re told to walk in holiness each day. We’re told to serve others. We’re told to win the lost. Rick Warren is right about the five general purposes for life. Every human on the planet has already been called and gifted to fulfill the will of God. But let's be realistic. We're not concerned about "every human on the planet" are we? We're concerned about ourselves. "What is God's will for MY life?"

This is where the Purpose Driven Life breaks down. It's not Rick Warren's fault! It's just that he can't help you here. Very few people can. No book, conference, pastor or friend can help us discover our own individual purpose(s). They might be able to help, but in the end that is the job of the Holy Spirit alone. Allow me to theorize a bit.

There is a general will and call of God that each of us must heed and follow. To accomplish that, God has graciously given us all corporate gifts such as unconditional love, acceptance, community, etc. There is also, though, a specific will and call of God that individuals must heed and follow. To accomplish that, God has graciously given us personal gifts such as leadership, healing, discernment, teaching, prophecy, etc.

In my estimation, most believers falter in the same area. They want to find out their personal calling instead of their corporate calling. They seek God’s will for their life instead of God’s will for their world. But I don’t think we find one without the other. Not that it has to work this way, but I typically observe that it happens in the following order.

People begin by surrendering to God’s corporate will. This is fleshed out in simple yet profound aspects such as loving their wives and children deeply, serving in their local churches, being faithful and accountable to friends, etc. It’s almost as if they say to themselves, “I don’t need to know the specifics. I just want to do what God has already told me to do in Scripture.” Most of us would have to admit that there’s plenty there! We could easily spend the rest of our lives simply fulfilling what God has already told us to do in the Bible.

Along that journey, though, God usually surprises us. It's within this community calling that we usually see our individual calling revealed. One guy I know simply asked his pastor what needs the church had. Through prayer and discussion, my friend ended up volunteering as one of the rotating speakers for his church’s outreach service. Guess what…he loves it! He's been doing it for six (6) months already! He now feels like evangelism is his specific calling! What began as a simple act of meeting a corporate need transformed into a discovery of God’s personal calling and will for the rest of his life! Wow!

God is not mean. I think some people imagine God as the hustler on the street with three cards playing a game...just toying with us. "If we’re good enough or we work hard and long enough, we might just end up striking it big. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll figure out the secret." I don’t think there necessarily is a secret. I think we need to be faithful with what we’ve already been given—His word. If we prove ourselves faithful with that corporate calling and will, God will begin to reveal His personal calling and will. It’s not necessarily a formula. It’s really just obedience. Hmmm…what a concept!

joy

2008-05-19T10:33:00.000-07:00

Last night some great friends and I were talking about what it means to be child-like. In Matthew 18 the disciples asked Jesus who was the greatest in the Kingdom of God. I would imagine they were jockeying for position—not much has changed in 2000 years, huh. Anyway, instead of answering them directly, Jesus calls a child over and says they need to be like the child. Hmmm.

For centuries people have wondered what Jesus really meant. What does it truly mean to be child-like? I don’t think Jesus wants us in diapers again or playing video games ten hours a day. That would be childish. We’re to be child-like. Some concepts that seem to fit are things like “surrender,” “trust” and “humility.” Those are great. A good friend of mine once observed that children have an "unshakable confidence in their parents." Wow. While I completely agree and applaud those ideas, though, the Holy Spirit has continually kept one theme in my heart—joy.

Do you ever hate church? Have you ever been in the presence of other Christians and wanted to scream? Do you ever ask questions like, “Seriously? Is this it? Is this what life is all about?!” Maybe you haven't. Or maybe you're in denial. What's amazing, though, is that we don’t see it in children.

My little boy, Josiah, has joy. That boy loves life! He wakes up every day with a smile on his face. He goes to bed every night wanting to be up and play more. He can find joy and fun and satisfaction with the strangest thing. One time his grandparents gave him the gift of a huge red Radio Flyer wagon—it is phenomenal! It came in this HUGE box and…that’s where we lost him. He didn’t even get to the cool gift inside the box because he was so enamored with the box itself. Then, when he saw the big red wagon it was all over. “Two awesome gifts in one?!?!?!”

Even when Josiah has a bump in the road, he bounces back really quickly. He had to get a couple shots the other day. (The doctor is not Josiah’s favorite person in the world.) He squirmed and cried and fussed…for about fifteen minutes. Then, the world was cool again. He found a bug on the sidewalk.

Man, I want to be like that. I want to love life. I want to be filled with joy every day knowing that my Dad has the coolest things in store. Even when things go “horribly wrong” in my eyes I want to have a better perspective. Like Jesus suggested, I really want to be more like Josiah.

let go

2008-05-12T14:26:00.000-07:00

I have this dream. In it all this awful stuff happens…and I’m fine. It’s not life-threatening kinds of things, but just the everyday, irritating minutia that usually drives me absolutely crazy. In my dream, I’m okay with all that stuff. I simply let it roll of my back with a smile. I take it to the feet of Jesus, lay it down and walk away. In my dream, I have learned to let go.

That’s not my daily experience, though. I wish I could say it happens like that all the time. In truth it happens maybe 10% of the time. That’s not very good. But it does happen sometimes. And by faith I believe that I’m moving in that direction. It’s going to happen more and more. Perhaps I haven’t learned to let go, but I’m learning to let go!

This church planting thing is tough. I’ve never had more of an experience where I wanted to jump in and do stuff in my whole life. Anyone who has been heavily involved in ministry can attest to the enormous stress. There are always hundreds of things that need to be done, but we simply don’t have the time, energy or resources needed.

And I’ve never been a lazy person. Ever. God has blessed me with a very strong work ethic. In fact, the opposite would probably be true. Quite often I’ve found that I have put ministry (the doing part) ahead of my family, my health and even my personal relationship with God (the being part). So, naturally, when we decided to plant a church, I braced myself for a whole lot of doing—a whole lot of stuff. But then the weirdest thing happened…God stopped us.

I won’t recount all the details here because it’s very long and probably boring for anyone besides my immediate family. The short of it, though, is that God told us—rather, made us—stop doing. He told us (and me in particular) to just calm down, relax in Him and just be. He’s teaching us to depend on Him and Him alone. He’s teaching us to trust that His plan for this church (and this world, for that matter) is better than mine. He’s teaching us to rest. He’s teaching us to let go.

Like most of the experiences of the past year, that directive from the Lord is a paradox. It’s exhilarating in the sense that we see His miraculous work. But it’s infuriating in the sense that we have no clue what’s coming next. It’s thrilling because we know that He is in complete control. But it’s frustrating because we know that He is in complete control.

I’ll bet that sounds familiar. Don’t we all struggle with letting go? What do we do about it? Well, I’m not really sure yet. Ask me again in a year or so. Until then, I’m going to keep trying. My gut tells me that I will instinctively reach out and try to squeeze the life out of something again. I’ll attempt to get back in control. But, in His grace and wisdom, God will lovingly and firmly put me back in my place and allow things to continue on in their beautiful, organic, unexpected ways. Today may we all experience a little more of God’s grace to let go.

grace

2008-05-05T21:06:00.000-07:00

Every human is beautiful.

Isn’t that a wonderful thought? No matter what gender, nationality, physical, mental or emotional disability, every single human being is a beautiful and marvelous creation. I wish we all believed that. This world would look dramatically different if we did.

The sad fact, though, is that the world will never buy into that idea. There will always be models on the front of the magazines and celebrities will always be the well-spoken and good-looking ones. Our culture is much too superficial and immoral to ever see a person’s true worth. But what about the Church? Is there a chance that the Church could really believe and act like that? Like every human is beautiful? It could happen and it should happen!

That little phrase sums up what Holy Seed Community Church means by “grace.” Grace is an enormous topic with thousands of little nuances. It’s really hard to define, but really easy to see. It’s really hard to dispense, but really amazing to receive. Many of us have heard grace described as “God giving us what we don’t deserve.” I think this is a fair description. Usually it’s contrasted with “mercy” defined as “God not giving us what we do deserve.” Again, that’s a helpful way to look at it. But I believe grace is even bigger and broader than that.

We’ve come up with a few buzz words that might help people understand what we’re getting at when we talk about grace. These words describe the kind of community and environment we want to create and then nurture.

Forgiving—we want to be known for canceling the debts people owe us.

Accepting—we want everyone to feel right at home among us.

Beautiful—we want people to understand that God adores them exactly the way they are.

Blessing—We want people to leave our company better than when they arrived.

Those are really lofty goals. Realistically we cannot hope to offer this kind of grace to anyone. However, we believe in miracles. We believe that when we make the effort, God meets us half way. We believe the Lord literally places grace within us so that we can then give it to the world. Is it hard? Absolutely! Do we fail sometimes? You bet! Will we keep trying? Without a doubt!

God has given us so much grace it’s impossible to even calculate. Grace is everywhere at all times. It goes before us to protect and guide. It follows us to forgive and comfort. It surrounds us to stimulate and strengthen. We have all been literally saturated with grace. It’s very much like that breath of oxygen you just took. You didn’t have to concentrate on taking it. You just took it. It’s similar to the protective skin that covers every inch of our fragile bodies or the brain that processes thousands of thoughts every second or the fingers that can actually type out a new blog. We can do nothing apart from God’s grace.

What would happen if we were more aware of God’s grace? How would life be different? Could we even count how many blessings are in our lives? How many praises would we need to utter in a single day? It’s not just about the gigantic blessings of a wife, little boy, friends, a home, etc. It’s also about the tiny things like veins that know to only bring blood to the heart and arteries that only carry it away to the rest of the body. Grace. It’s about the tears that have that perfect chemical composition that our poor scientists still can’t perfectly match. Grace. It’s about the planet under our feet that spins at just the right speed and just so happens to be at the perfect distance from the sun so that we don’t freeze nor do we burst into flames. Grace.

If we’ve been given so much grace, how could we not give it away to others in return? How dare we hoard it all to ourselves?! Holy Seed will be a place of grace. We will be a community through whom grace flows easily and quickly. By the grace of God, we will be a people of grace. Because every human is beautiful.

sabbatical

2008-04-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

Our lives have been very...well, odd, for about a year. There hasn't been much direction, yet there's been a definite path to take. There hasn't been much stability, yet God has proven Himself a thousand times over. There hasn't been huge to-do lists, yet we always find ourselves running ragged and exhausted by the end of the day. Sometimes I think of this past year of our lives as a page in a book. The page is full, but there are very wide margins. There's a lot of space all around. The page looks and even feels strange. But, at the same time, it's inviting and engaging.

This may sound strange to some, but Carla and I have really loved this weird transition period. Well, let me qualify that. At times we have loved it. Today we love it. There are other days that we're pulling our hair out due to frustration. Overall, though, when we're thinking clearly, we realize what a huge blessing it's been. It's been a time of waiting, mystery and random, unexpected miracles. We realize how much healthier we are now. We are learning—or, more accurately, re-learning—a ton about the Lord, ourselves and the Church. Maybe even more importantly, though, we simply feel amazingly refreshed and rejuvenated. We have a heightened sensitivity to God right now...and that's priceless.

The only thing I can compare it to is a sabbatical. I know of a few organizations that grant sabbaticals to their long-time employees. Hearing them talk of these time periods now sounds familiar. Professors are often granted sabbaticals to finish large research and/or writing projects. Bill Hybels, pastor of Willow Creek, takes a two-month sabbatical every summer. Every summer! He claims it has become his most precious time of prayer and preparation for the coming year. It’s a time of rest. It’s a time of reflection. It’s a time of re-learning. It’s a time of refocus. Notice that all those words begin with "re."

Sometimes this stinkin’ world drives me crazy! Sure, there are moments when I love to pop a meal in the microwave and eat something hot in four minutes. Of course, I enjoy flipping on the TV from time to time and completely vegging out. Like everyone else, I take advantage of my cell phone, cars and innumerable other technological advances. But I often yearn for the slower, quieter days my parents and especially grandparents lived. Man, that makes me sound so old.

Our contemporary culture does life at a break-neck pace. Do any of us work a 40-hour work week anymore? How many families eat dinner together more than once or twice a week? When was the last time you spent thirty minutes in complete silence—no phones, TV, iPod, etc.? I’m beginning to think that we humans actually require periods of complete rest. Without them, the meltdown is evitable and ugly.

I heard Rob Bell talk about Sabbath several months ago. It was extremely enlightening and extremely challenging. He mentioned that when the people of God were slaves in Egypt, their value was determined by how much work they could get done. Quite literally, your worth was tied to how many bricks you could make in a 24-hour period. The point of your day was to see how much you could accomplish. When Yahweh delivered them, though, He completely changed the system and the perspective. He commanded times of rest. At certain times He commanded them to do nothing. God was highlighting the fact that our value is determined by who we are. It has nothing to do with how much work we can get done. The point of the Sabbath was to accomplish—get this—nothing! In fact, to get any work done was a complete failure and even sin! Now that is counter-cultural!

Yahweh established more than just a weekly Sabbath, though. There were at least seven annual feasts that were to be times of total rest. These were multi-day events. Every seventh year the people were to allow the land to have a Sabbath and not work it at all…for an entire year! As Carla and I are experiencing right now, sometimes it takes greater faith to not do things than to do things. When we depend on God completely, He has a way of providing miraculously.

Maybe it’s important for us to unplug for extended periods on a regular basis. Families used to take long vacations together every year. That seems to be a dying breed now. Even if vacations are taken, though, they’re “working vacations” or they’re too short to really relax or they end up being even more stressful and busy than our regular days. Man! What is wrong with us?!

I have a big, bright, yellow sticky note on a bookshelf right in front of my face. It's there every day as a reminder of something very important. There are two words on it: "JUST BE." I am a do-er. I want to feel productive. I like marking things off my to-do lists and accomplishing tasks. But God has stopped me in my ministerial tracks. He's teaching me that I am priceless not because I do anything. I am worth His death on that cross simply because I exist. I can just be. That's enough for God. And maybe it's enough for me too.

Father, I sure hope I’ve learned my lesson about this. I hope I will have the courage to say “no” to a lot of good things simply because I need a break. I hope I can schedule regular small and even large time periods where the goal is to do nothing. I want to be spiritually mature enough to watch a long movie with my family, read a good book from cover to cover and take a three week vacation without feeling guilty or checking my email. Thank you, Lord, for a sabbatical!

enjoy the journey

2008-04-21T10:35:00.000-07:00

It’s not that I don’t believe in goal-setting. In fact, I’ve always been a very goal oriented person. A very difficult lesson learned along the way, though, is that the goal is not…well, the goal. Instead, each goal turns out to be one more step along a path. It might be a very difficult and/or ginormous step, but it’s still just one, single step. The real goal, objective, target, purpose is not summed up in one, two or even a thousands steps. Instead it is the sum total of all those steps. It is the process of getting from here to there. It is the journey.

Perhaps an illustration would be helpful here. Sunday, October 12, 2008 is an important day. God ahead and mark that day on your calendar. For on that Sunday, our beloved Seattle Seahawks will host the Green Bay Packers. I know, I know, I love Bret Favre too, but that's not the point here. See, last year, during the Divisional Playoff game in Green Bay, we got beat. No, we got embarrassed. Green Bay whooped the Seahawks 42 to 20. It's wasn't pretty. And on Sunday, October 12, 2008 (did you write it down yet?) we will exact our vengeance. But here's the twist. A complete decimation of the Arizona Cardinals is not the goal. What?! That win is simply one step. The goal, in fact, is not another playoff spot or even a Superbowl win (as desirous and unlikely as it may be). The real goal for the Seattle Seahawks is a dynasty, isn’t it? Every team wants to rule the day—to win and keep winning and keep winning—for as long as humanly possible. If they could win every game of every season into eternity they would do it. And the fans would be very proud and very bored.

Now, regarding my life, what am I really after? What is the true, actual goal? I mean, is it honestly just about good church attendance? Is my whole objective to work my brains out just to make enough money just to pay the bills just to not be homeless? Every person on the planet deals with an endless minutia of things on a daily basis. The key is to see those things for what they really are—steps. We don’t accomplish anything great, but we can contribute to greatness. For our lives to really matter we must discover a way to enjoy the journey.

I am absolutely convinced there is only one way to do so. We must ask our Creator. The answer is not (said with a sweet yet ignorant tone) “inside of you.” We are far too mortal and foolish for that. The answer is most definitely beyond us. God alone has the key to our passions, our desires and, thus, our enjoyment. And it is different for everyone. While I love to communicate to groups of people, many find this the apex of all fear. While some love the rush of the trading room floor, I get nervous buying a song online. Our Creator is wonderfully diverse and—get this—created us in that same diverse image. We are not supposed to all look alike, act alike and talk alike!

Here are three very general questions that will evoke very specific responses.

What do I love? That question may stir up thoughts of a certain person or place. One might begin to dream about an action or a feeling.
What fires me up? Some minds may wander to politics or environmental issues. It could be that we begin to remember a situation from the past.
What would I give my life for? Hopefully the answer here doesn’t center on material things, but people, ideas, a vision of the future.

I’m not so naïve to think that every day is going to be roses and sing-alongs. Neither do I believe, though, that I have to dread waking up. With all my heart, I want to enjoy the journey. I want to smile and laugh more. I want to look forward to gatherings, appointments and even Mondays! Maybe this means I let a few of the insignificant things go. Maybe I dedicate my time and energy to just a few really important things. Maybe I relax a little more often, spend a few more minutes in prayer or sipping coffee. Maybe some things are about to change.

mystery

2008-04-14T10:36:00.000-07:00

How did Jesus speak of the Kingdom of God? What kinds of things did He say? What did He make it feel like?

Lately I’ve read His descriptions very differently. He seems to paint a picture of the unknown. He hints at a secret. He brings me into His confidence and slowly unveils a mystery. I find myself excited, looking over my shoulder to see if anyone else is in the room. I hold my breath as classified information is revealed. I’m honored and exhilarated to realize that He trusts me. He believes in me.

The Kingdom is like an elite club whose membership and real role is only known to those within. Of course, when you get in you realize the “elite” is made up of plumbers and salesmen and mostly third world inhabitants. It’s not elite in a socioeconomic sense, but they are royalty. These are children of the King. Not some fake, temporary king on this dying planet, but the real King. The all-powerful, yet unseen King. If He is all-powerful why would His kingdom not be? If He is unseen, why would His kingdom not be?

Perhaps that’s why I have such a strong aversion to the idea of church marketing. Jesus never did anything even close. Not only did He not advertise and publicize the Kingdom, but He almost seems to cover it up! I can’t recall a single instance where Jesus announced a service or event. Even when the thousands were attracted it was pretty much a spontaneous gathering. So much so, in fact, that the people didn’t think to bring any food! (Read the story in John 6.) We’re constantly told that Jesus withdrew from the multitudes to pray and/or mentor His small group of friends. I see lots of examples where Jesus heals the sick and then tells them to keep the miracle quiet. What is all the mystery about?!

I wonder if there’s something dangerous about a public faith. Maybe there’s something inherently wrong with the mass marketing of the gospel. From the very beginning it was intimate. A personal God approached one man named Abraham with a message. Slowly it spread not through the nations, but simply through his children. As the family grew so did the faith. After a while we hear about non-Hebrews, aliens, who heard about this personal God and His beloved children. Foreigners are drawn into it and even allowed, by law, to participate. When Jesus comes He doesn’t relate only to the Jews, but to the Samaritan woman at the well and even the roman centurion. After He rises from the dead He gives a proclamation that must have stunned His band of brothers: this love relationship is for the entire human race. They were commissioned to take the good news to the ends of the earth!

So, in our zeal to spread the news, we neglected the relationship. In an attempt to comprehend deity, we “explained” the mystery. I want to go back. I want to experience the day when it all revolved around a one-on-one relationship again. (Okay, I can handle one-on-twelve, but let’s stay small, personal, intimate.) I want to go back to the time when it was in the hands of a few ignorant and yet passionate secret-keepers. Doesn’t that sound exciting?! Doesn’t it sound like something you’d love to know more about?! Wouldn’t you seek answers to those kinds of questions?! Wouldn’t you love to be a part of a movement like that?!

big, fat yes

2008-04-07T17:31:00.000-07:00

Man, I’ve listened to a lot of stories. That’s probably not surprising seeing as how I’m a pastor. I have heard countless people talk about their relationship with God and others. And I’ve observed a frustrating common denominator in many of them. It can be accurately described in an image.

Imagine that you’re standing alone in a small room. As you turn 360 degrees all you see is one closed door after another. None of them are necessarily different than the others and none of them are open. I think this is how most Christians view their life. They’re just hanging around, watching and waiting for “the open door.” We all want something miraculous to happen, don’t we? Wouldn’t it be nice if God would let us all know what He wants with a simple email, phone call or writing in the clouds?!

The problem with this image is that it assumes a negative. It assumes that God has told all of us to “wait,” “stop” or just plain “no.” While this is true of God sometimes, it is not His natural inclination. We are created in the very image of God (read about it in Genesis 1). We have been stamped by the divine with a taste of His very own nature. God is all about pleasure and enjoyment and pursuit of passion. The Scriptures are full of stories of people daring to do the impossible simply because they believed. That is the image of God in us! God is not some cosmic kill-joy. In fact, He’s quite the opposite! God doesn’t love sitting around telling us “no, not yet.” “Uh, uh. Hold on there tiger.” “Um, I don’t think so, pal.” This passionate, loving God of ours has, in fact, issued us a big, fat “YES!” “Go for it!” “You’re doin’ great!”

Matthew, one of the twelve apostles, wrote a great book. It’s called Matthew. Clever, huh. Anyway, he ends his narrative with a very specific passage highlighting a very specific purpose. Over the years it’s been dubbed as “The Great Commission.” Most church going people have probably heard it before, but I think they underestimate its power and implications. Jesus has just been brutally murdered, buried and then resurrected. He is now showing Himself to the remaining eleven apostles (including our eye witness, Matthew) and offers one last, stirring charge.

“All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me,” He says. In other words, this is important, guys. I didn’t die and rise from the dead just for fun. I have been endued with the authority and power of God the Father, Creator of the Heavens and the Earth, the One in whose Image all humanity was made. Listen up!

“Therefore, go…” Let’s just pause right there. Jesus continues to list stuff that we should do, but let’s not miss the forest for the trees. Jesus just said what so many of us are waiting around to hear. We want so badly to get some direction today, but forget that we already got it 2000 years ago. We’ve been created in the image of a passionate God. So we have our own passions, hopes and dreams. And Jesus just told us to “go.” Just before He ascended into heaven, He wanted to make sure we knew one last thing: we have a big, fat YES!

Do you dream of making a difference in some field? Do it! Have you always hoped you could work at that company or apply for that job? Take the first step! Would you love to do that thing one day? Well, guess what. Today might be that day!

It’s obviously a little more complicated than this and we are all wise to spend time in prayer and council about these big issues, but the point remains. We don’t have to wait around for God to “open a door.” Instead of picturing yourself in that little room surrounded by doors, get a different image in your mind. Imagine yourself in a wide open field. There are no walls to be seen, no doors to be unlocked. You’re free to go wherever, whenever. Now what?

What do you dream of when you close your eyes? If you woke up tomorrow morning and had the perfect life, what would be different? If you are a follower of Jesus, that dream comes from God. Today, why not start moving toward it? We’ve already been given a big, fat YES!

community

2008-03-31T11:39:00.000-07:00

Life is meant to be done together.

That’s our little phrase. It’s our attempt to succinctly describe what we mean by “community.” When most people hear that word they think of their neighborhood and/or subdivision. They get a mental image of older, traditional houses—a part of the American dream. They visualize neighbors helping each other plant gardens, put up fences and raise children. In reality, this is not too far from the truth. It seems with each generation, though, our society gets farther and farther away from the healthy environment God desires for His beloved people. Amazingly enough, God has chosen to reveal Himself to humanity in relationship with each other. Every person on this planet is created in the image of God. But what does that mean? What exactly is the image of God? Well, I certainly can’t explain that fully. Anyone who claims to be able to is either a liar or a psycho. Throughout history, however, followers of Jesus have held to the orthodox belief that God is Trinity. He is three distinct persons existing in one substance. I can’t explain it, but I do believe it. Clark Pinnock once said that just as God can only be known through His Trinitarian communion with Himself, so humanity can only be known through our Godly communion with each other. It is only when we, as distinct individuals, come together in community that the image of God is fully made known.

Authentic, biblical community is really hard to define. It is created through a great deal of intentional effort on the part of everyone involved. It takes a lot of time and trust to both initiate and continue. It reeks of unconditional love and acceptance, but, at the same time, challenges one another toward greater and deeper Christianity. It is exemplified by Jesus and his relationship with the Twelve Disciples (i.e. Mark 3:14-15). It is demonstrated by the earliest Christians’ commitment to small house churches (i.e. Acts 2:41-47). Princeton sociologist Robert Wuthnow observes that although there are some obvious differences, true community is like being part of a loving family. To theologian and Christian martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Christian community is defined by three things. “It means, first, that a Christian needs others because of Jesus Christ. It means, second, that a Christian comes to others only through Jesus Christ. It means, third, that in Jesus Christ we have been chosen from eternity, accepted in time, and united for eternity.”

The essence of Christian community is found in Jesus’ prayer recorded for us in John 17. In this powerful chapter we see our example of unity found in the holy Trinity itself! Jesus (God the Son), His Father (God the Father) and the Spirit (God the Holy Spirit) are three in one. And Jesus actually prays that all believers (that includes you and me!) experience the same kind of oneness! Just as God lives in community with Himself, without any comprehensible division, so are we to live. WOW! Obviously, this is unconventional in our highly individualistic American society. And it’s downright freaky in the pioneering spirit of the Pacific Northwest!

From the time we were children we were taught to take pride in our American independence. Our heroes were the brave individuals who conquered the Wild West and sought their fortunes alone. Slowly, though, our postmodern thought has dragged us back to painful reality. Our world is slowly eroding due to sin. The perceived safety of science, technology and the American dream is crumbling around us. And, sadly, the Church is not offering answers. Even the core and foundation of culture, the family unit, is a rare commodity. The trend in many religious circles toward small groups is not something new. It is something very old that is merely being rediscovered. The ancient use of small community groups is beginning to alter the very fabric of the American social order.

Community is a difficult and messy undertaking, but one that must be attempted if we ever hope to be healthy and whole. Sharing one’s life and risking intimacy are frightening for most individuals who have been encouraged to exert their uniqueness and “look our for number one.” Quite often it’s a devastating crisis that finally drives people to seek community (i.e. alcoholism, death of a loved one, etc.). Oh, that we didn’t always have to learn the hard way! Much like our salvation experience, we are participants in the journey toward community. It is a free and miraculous gift, but we must accept and daily walk in it. People want to know God, but cannot do it alone. In community they find the opportunity to share their victories and sufferings; questions and answers; delight and anger.

This writing is really not my attempt to prove the necessity of community. Instead, I hope to merely point out the longing in each human soul. I want us all to recognize our deep craving for community and, then, tap into it. Small community groups are the heart and soul of Holy Seed Community Church. They are not merely a program or department in a list of ministries. We are not going to be a church with small groups. No! Instead, we are a church of small groups. Indeed, small groups are the skeleton that supports the Body of Christ. It’s not just about me and it’s not just about you. It’s about us. Life is meant to be done together.

why blog?

2008-03-31T10:22:00.000-07:00

Let me be honest. I don't think I've read more than 5 blogs in my life. Sure, they're relatively new, but still. So why, when I don't even read them, would I write my own? Excellent question!

First and foremost, I'm doing it for me. I have always found it helpful to keep a journal. To a certain extent I will treat this blog as such. That means these posts will be quite personal and brutally honest. I expect some to be long and rambling. Others will be short and sweet.

Second, I hope and pray my transparency will be helpful to other disciples in their personal journey with Christ. I would never presume that my own experiences and/or words are more valuable. They're simply my humble contribution.

So, read on. Plunge into the depths of my sufferings. Climb to the heights of my victories. Enjoy life with me. Cry with me. By all means, though, seek God with me. Shalom!